


To Forsake All Others

by Bashful_13



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abuse, Awkward Crush, Blood, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Death, Death Trooper, Dirty Thoughts, Dominant Kylo Ren, Drugs, F/M, Force Sensitivity, Forced Marriage, Heavy Petting, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Magic, Major Character Injury, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Non-Consensual, Not Canon Compliant, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Parasite - Freeform, Protective Kylo Ren, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slow Burn, Smut, Spanking, War, creature - Freeform, droid, speeder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2019-08-23 12:19:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 68,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16618838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bashful_13/pseuds/Bashful_13
Summary: It wasn't uncommon for arranged marriages to still exist within certain jurisdictions of the galaxy. Just not one this peculiar. Your parents dedicated to end the turmoil that plagued the planets offered you to the First Order. More specifically the dark Commander himself. You were young, unsure, and angry. Unfortunately, so was he.





	1. The Run

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first piece, so I ask you to be gentle. Grammar and tenses are not my strong suit, and I apologize ahead of time. Planets mentioned are made up, and there are probably some items mentioned that do not exist in the stories. You've been warned. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Cheers!

#  The Run 

Slumber would not come as your nerves would not allow it. You watched as the three suns kissed the sky awake. The horizon clung to it in want of attention, and was slowly filled with it's light. The dusty oranges, bright pinks, and fluttering purples intermingled and splattered across the sky. This still was not the most ideal sunrise as the rain made your riding gown cling harshly to your body. _It's an old gown._ You reminded yourself studying the unruly strings of the embroidered flowers prying themselves away from the once powder blue, now slowly greying, fabric. Your varactyl quietly stirred as you readjusted yourself in the seat. It's head nuzzled deeper into the wildflowers trying to hide it's eyes from the light, but there was nothing, as it came to accept, to stop the small droplets from pelting it's head and disturbing it's dreams. _At least one of us can sleep._ A purr curled in her chest as your hands brushed against her brightly colored plumage. Your eyes faltered staring into the droplets that hung ever so gently on the delicate fibers of her feathers before the gems rolled off and fell into the abyss of the flora. 

"We must wake from our dreams Sheindi....they cannot last forever." You whispered it into the breeze that crossed the field. The heads of the flowers wobbled shaking their heavy heads in judgement. You hoped it drifted off into the galaxy. You hoped someone out there felt the sadness you did today.

\------

He did a sweeping bow before the glowing blue projection. The Supreme Leader allowed him to rise, leaving the General still on his knees.

"You may rise, General." Snoke said in his usual raspy voice. He rested his disfigured head against his long slender fingers. "I have obtained a bride, Master Kylo."

"Thank you, Supreme Leader." The words hugged in a tone of resentment. His jaw clenched as he drove his mind to find stability and balance. 

It was only a few months ago that Supreme Leader approached him about the matter and to Kylo's dismay he would be forced to marry. Supreme Leader believed that some of the submission of the galaxy would transpire more smoothly if there was a strong political bond. Master Kylo was not so sure of the plan though, but was not one to go against his Master's word.

"She is from Onrei." Kylo's face twisted in disgust at seeing how excited it made Hux, who upon learning how much it perturbed the young apprentice, was first to volunteer in search of a bride. Snoke, however, took it upon himself to see the task to fruition as he did not trust the General with such a duty. It still did not deter him from being a complete- _butt kisser._

"Their planet is rich in minerals and resources which will provide well for us and the First Order."

"I am forever grateful." Kylo said descending down to one knee again. 

"Your marriage will aid in solidifying the order in the galaxy. The Onrei are well liked, so do the best to your ability to not-destroy anything while you are there. General Hux and Captain Phasma will be attending as well to assure everything goes...satisfactorily. The wedding is in three days time. I suggest that you arrive promptly. Learn their customs. Understand their position among other planets."

Kylo read into the words. Blend in and learn their weaknesses and strengths- _if there were any._ He still had so many doubts that plagued his mind. The Supreme Leader droned on. "The trials of forming a bond can be tedious my apprentice. Practice patience and do not disappoint me."

"Yes, my liege."

_____

**Three days later.**

His cape billowed behind him as he made his way into the hangar. Kylo headed for his own TIE fighter when he heard a scoff behind him. 

"Absolutely not!" General Hux's face scrunched up in anger. "We are there for you to get married not to implode the city."

"They must know we are strong."

"I think the Star Killer does that bit justice. Now get in the cruiser." General Hux tucked his arms back behind his back and walked with dignity up the ramp. 

"I will not be taking my bride on that piece of -!"

"Language! Even I don't need mind reading abilities to know what was going to come out of that filthy mouth of yours. Fine, I don't care what you go in, but you aren't going in a war machine." He shouted out from the doorway. 

The words of Snoke burned through the back of his mind. He needed to find an equilibrium in all of his anger, but Hux would do his best to prevent Kylo from getting any sort of footing. Although Hux always got like this before diplomatic missions he felt that Hux was more than insistent on pushing his buttons. Sure Kylo grew up with an education that even Hux could envy, but at times Kylo could not keep his attitude in check long enough to remember his manners. Kylo clenched his fists and breathed before getting onto the cruiser with the copper headed burden. Captain Phasma's boots thudded against the ramp as she got on. She buckled up across from Kylo. She snorted seeing his discomfort on not being allowed to fly. 

She tried her best to lighten the mood in her own gruff way, "Didn't bother to dress up?" She looked Kylo up and down as she realized he was in his usual garb. 

"These are some of the finest fabrics in the galaxy....besides they don't know I typically wear this."

"Suit yourself." She sighed clipping her seat belt together with her large hands. She didn't push the matter knowing that Hux would bother him enough if being forced into marriage wasn't irking him already which it obviously was.

General Hux walked up and down the cabin inspecting every inch of it. "Would you sit down?" Kylo roared hotly at him. 

"Cold feet?" General Hux scowled at him. 

"No, now sit." Kylo raised his hand and tossed him into a seat and tied his seat belt around him.

"Sure seems like it to me. You're lucky that she is lovely. He could have picked someone far worse. Like someone from the Teluxena."

"Have you seen her?" Kylo was thankful that vocoder covered the curiosity. It could sound just as fact rather than any emotion in it. Not that it mattered he didn't love her, but he didn't want Hux's beady little eyes on her first. 

"Did you not do your research as Snoke advised?"

"I did." He said bluntly. "There wasn't much on her."

"Ah well, I sent my spies." General Hux beamed, raising a nose into the air. 

Kylo looked to Phasma not sure to actually believe the gull of this man. She shook her head and wiggled her fingers like whoop-dee-doo. 

"If you don't want her, then I would gladly take her off your hands." Kylo raised his hand into the air again, and Hux flinched before anything happened. "And what of that hideous helmet? Will that be attending the wedding too?"

"The helmet stays. There is no bond yet." Kylo reaffirmed sternly. "I'm sure you would love to see me assassinated."

"It wouldn't totally ruin my day." Kylo tightened the straps around his colleague. Successfully making his face as red as his hair. 

"Enough. The both of you. We're almost there."

He had not seen a world so beautiful as Onrei. There were three suns, as he had read, but they were not as big as most suns. The combination of the three made up the energy of a fairly large one. He took notice that they each varied slightly in color. The cruiser zoomed over a field of wild flowers accidentally ripping some of the flowers apart.

"Pull up, GH-6758. No need to piss them off so soon." Hux commanded the Storm Trooper. The cruiser passed over rivers, lakes, valleys, and waterfalls. There were great mountains in the distance, and if you went far enough west there was a desert gracing the land. Kylo understood how the First Order would be attracted to the Onrei. Especially when they made landing in the market place. 

People scurried away as the three exited the ship. They were on their own, but only for a little while. Master Kylo relished walking through the market on his own even with the constant threat that all of this may still be a ploy. The fruits were rare and abundant. Flowers graced women's heads and arms. Children were happy and playing. Large animals were being roasted and turned on skewers. Overall the people were jovial, and how could they not be? General Hux pressed a napkin to his nose.

"Can't handle real air General?" Kylo mused.

"I have a terrible pollen allergy. Unlike Phasma and you, I do not have a helmet to filter my air although I should have thought of it. Ah, King Marciles so glad to make your acquaintance." Hux approached with his hand out to a large, tanned man with a short, white beard. His robes were a floral pattern in bright red and purple with gold trim. He hugged Hux lifting him a bit off the ground. 

Kylo almost let out a snort up until his future father-in- law tried to do the same to him. He wasn't able to lift him off the ground which made him release a hearty chortle. He hit him on the arm, "You're a sturdy one! As thick as a tree...just about as tall as one too!" Another laugh escaped from the deepest part of his belly. Kylo was bothered until he was released from his attention, and he moved onto Phasma. But even still his brooding settled in as he realized how much time he would have to waste here.

"You have to excuse my husband. He is overjoyed by your arrival." A woman with striking blue eyes approached along with a man that followed her with an umbrella to protect her delicate pale skin. She wore a powder blue floral robe with golden trim. Her hair was fixed in curls with a few braids that framed her face. King Marciles brown eyes lit up upon seeing her. 

"And this is my Queen Mira." He held her arms gently planting a loving kiss onto her cheek. "Now where is Y/N?"

"Last I saw she was in her room." Mira confirmed. 

"Ah well, let's take a quick tour first! Shall we?" He said not really giving anyone a choice. He slipped his arm through his wife's and exchanged a few words between the two. She whispered something to the man holding the umbrella, and he left in a hurry. 

"Is everything alright?" Hux asked catching up with the King and Queen. Kylo listened in on their minds to hear their previous conversation. 

_Are you sure she is in her room? You can't leave her alone._

_Yes, we just fought. Everything is alright. Now don't displease our guests. You're being rude._

_____

**Earlier that day.**

You were called back to the palace by the horn of Jentu.

"Come Sheindi time to meet fate." You smirked as Sheindi rose and stretched her legs out. She raced across the fields easily mastering every curve and crevice of the land. Your h/c curly locks whipped around your face from the speed at which she traveled. You dismounted when you arrived at the palace steps. Your grey knee high suede riding boots scuffling against the stone steps that led up to the terrace. You waved to your friend as you grabbed a piece of fruit off a tray from a passing servant and tossed it to her. She snapped it up hungrily and went on her way to go dig up something in the garden probably. 

"That is for the wedding." Your mother droned her disapproval at you feeding Sheindi while sitting at a table arranging flowers. 

"It shant be missed. Do you think those bucket heads really eat?" You chuckled sitting in a seat across from her. You crisscrossed your legs in the chair and grabbed another piece of fruit taking it for yourself. 

"Don't speak of them so cruelly. Your tongue will become accustomed to it, and I can't protect you when you are out there."

Silence fell over you as you picked at the skin of the fruit. 

"I know this is not what you wanted for yourself, but this is for your people. A greater good."

"I know, Mama." You groaned after hearing it for the billionth time. "I know this is for Onrei, but I don't trust them. How do we know that they will keep their word? He is a force user and a dark one at that." You plopped the fruit back onto the plate.

"They have given us their word, and we will honor it. I know your favorite past time is giving lip, but it will suit you well to practice....meditating on how you may serve him better."

"Anyone know what's under that helmet anyway?"

"He is young. If that is what you are wondering?"

"How young?"

"Twenty-nine."

That wasn't so bad at least he wasn't sixty then again you might much prefer him to be older as he may die much quicker. You bit at your bottom lip. Your mother felt your worry and grasped your hand warmly into hers. 

"Onrei has been good to us. Too good." She reaffirmed. "You have felt her love, warmth, and light. Everyone of us has been spoiled in it. It is time we pay her back by protecting her." You nodded as a few tears fell from your bright blue eyes. They were a lot like hers with the exception that you had splatters of brown in them. There was a particularly large splotch in your right eye. She would always say, "And a dash of your father." As that seemed to be the only thing you received from your father.

"I will fulfill my duty." You repeated back to her monotonously. The Onrei were a hardy people. They were as tough as they were happy, but you felt in this instance your parents were being naive. The Supreme Leader demanded you as a bride because of Onrei's relations with the rest of the galaxy. Your parents only agreed because of the belief that through you, and the customs of Onrei, could they bring a better balance to the First Order. Wishful thinking on their part, you believed.

"You have been attending your lessons with Gadia?" Your mother interrupted your thoughts.

"Yes." You moaned in agitation, flipping your head into your lap. 

"Calm yourself child. Beauty will only take you so far. Education only so far, but pleasing him in bed....will keep you in your place. How else do you think the Onrei men never stray from Onrei women?"

"Mama!"

"If she has been giving you lessons, then how do you still shy away from the subject?" She chuckled picking on you.

"It's weird to talk about with you!"

"Where do you think you came from? You didn't just fly out of a geyser." You left her at the table for her to finish her breakfast. "And go to the baths you smell like the fields! It's your wedding day in a day for Onrei's sake!"

You ignored her plights looking for your father. He was in the dining hall helping organize the food and tables. 

"Any sagely advice for me, Papa?" You smirked at him as he conducted everyone so happily. 

"Know when to walk away. It will always save you a headache a day." His thunderous laugh rung through the hall. 

"Hmm."

"Have you been attending lessons with Jentu?"

You rolled your eyes as your parents seemed to learn to sing the same song without attending practice together. "Yes, Papa."

"And what form have you settled in?"

"The only form my size is suited for of course. Stealth and quickness. I would love to combat in chaos, but you know one can't always have what they want."

"You are chaos all on your own. You don't need a combat form for that." He grinned pinching one of your cheeks softly. A sadness slowly seized his face. His strong, worn hands graced your cheeks holding them there for a moment like he was trying to remember you.

"I will visit. I have to. I think the motherland will scream for me." You joked at the end. 

"Please do. Your mother is trying to put on a strong face....but you know your weak hearted father." He said as a few tears pushed at his eyes. He shook his head expelling the terrible thoughts and slapped his hands on the armrests. "Well there is work to be done." You took your leave, but not before he shouted back to you, "And go to the baths you smell like the fields! It's your wedding day in a day for Onrei's sake!"

You weren't ready for the baths yet though. You had other pressing plans to attend to first. You ascended the stairs and entered your room. Your mother and a few hand maidens were drawing a bath for you."Not yet, mama!" You said knowing she would try to shove you in.

"Get in this tub Y/N. I will not have them thinking we are giving them a rotting flower. They will be arriving soon-"

"Mama, I am doing the Run."

"No, you aren't and that is final. Now get into the tub, Y/N."

"You cannot take this from me. It is my wedding day tomorrow! It has to be done before sunset today for it to count! Tetsuk told me-"

"Y/N now!" Her eyes were boring a hole into you. Your fingers begrudgingly fiddled with the ties of your robe and dress and dropped it to the ground. You took off the cloth that wrapped your hands and tossed them aside. "And the boots."

You kicked them off and hopped into the tub splashing some of the warm water out. "Happy?"

"Very. There is no need to fulfill such a relic of a tradition. Your groom isn't even Onrei, so there will be no bad luck."

"Isn't that bad luck enough?" You sighed settling your aching muscles in the water. 

"No, be thankful that you will get to see other things. Onrei is beautiful, but there are other things to see."

"Mmm." All you ever wanted to do was explore. You should have wished more carefully. Your mother left as she felt you were calm enough to be left alone, but as soon as the last hand maiden left, you exited the tub and climbed out the window. You were going to continue the relic of a tradition. 

\-----

They had shown the three welcomed interlopers all about the palace and some of the villages. Hux was particularly fond of the garb of the local women as some exposed one or both breasts. Kylo was growing tiresome and impatient, but only Phasma and Hux could tell which was quite the improvement, considering his usual temperaments. He eased up a bit as they came about a large red clay building. 

"What is that?" Phasma asked very curious as large rumbles were heard coming from within it. 

"This, my dear, is where we hold our combat games. Onrei is partial to wrestling. Would you like to see?"

Hux and Phasma entered eagerly behind the two sovereigns while Kylo still kept his distance. Violence was easy to rile him, but Snoke demanded that he not be rude to his in-laws. He could be rude later, he sufficed, as he stepped through the large wooden door frame. They walked down a long, dirty corridor with many doors before a light was cast over them from a door ahead. Cheers and rumbling could be heard more clearly now. 

Crowds made Kylo and Phasma anxious because of their pedigree. Kylo sneered beneath his helmet feeling no tension from the General as most of his training had been done under simulation rather than trial and error of physical battle. Perhaps, the main reason Kylo had such little respect for him. 

The crowd froze upon seeing the King and Queen along with their foreboding guests. 

"Come now! Everyone please take a seat and continue." The King waved his hands for everyone to settle. The dark Commander couldn't help but feel a partial threatening energy in the room. He sat rigidly which was nothing out of the norm for his tendencies, but he could not remain stifled.

"Where is the Princess?"

"Eager aren't we?" The King shrugged off the tension. "She will be 'round soon. Here, watch! This is her favorite event." He raised a hand as a man covered in orange chalk wearing a blood red loin cloth tossed a very large spear and hit a wooden dummy. 

Kylo remained silent for now.

\-----

After the games the triumvirate were brought to the palace.

Kylo could feel the worry dripping off them. _Was this a trap? No, they seemed genuinely worried that their daughter had gone missing or much worse....decided to run off._

A roar thundered across the field from the stables and clattered banging could be heard as they all stood on the terrace.

"What is that?" Hux asked astonished.

King Marciles patted his back, "Ah, one of the wedding guests thought it would be lovely to gift us a Reek, and as much as I appreciate the thought....they are much too violent for our fauna. It will be kept under control. I assure you." The roof of the stable looked as if it were about to explode from the ramming of the animal. A flicker of worry passed over the King's face. "Jentu." He called to the servant that had been escorting the Queen earlier. "Find Tetsuk."

"At once my King." He left the palace and only but moments later he came back out to tell him that he was at the Gandean Falls.

"The Run." The queen said worried while the King said it more in a sigh. 

"Here." The servant handed a dress robe and boots to the Queen. The Queen nodded knowing full well that an extra pair of clothes always came in handy when it came to her daughter.

"Oh goodness, you are in for a treat. Probably the most beautiful fall in Onrei..." He drawled on explaining it's history as they boarded an open topped cruiser. Kylo enjoyed watching Hux sneeze uncontrollably while he leaned over the rail watching as herds of animals flocked together running alongside the cruiser. They had the most interesting shapes and patterns. It almost put him at ease....almost. 

When they arrived at the fall the King stepped out happily, swinging his Queen out along with him. Hux looked like he was going to be sick. Phasma kept up her usual appearance and stepped gracefully down from the cruiser. There was a man at the edge of the pool of aquamarine water with a peculiar boxy hat and a long scroll. 

"Tetsuk!"

He looked from the scroll for only a moment as the King scurried over to him. 

"Good morning, sire."

"Tetsuk, is she doing the Run?"

"Yes, she is sire." He mused licking the end of his pen and scribbling the rest of the document down. He looked to be as old as the King and his eyes had many wrinkles from constantly drowning them in words every night. 

"What is the Run?" Hux managed to squeeze between his lips before letting out another sneeze.

"A very old Onrei tradition." The Queen said rather proudly. "The bride must complete a task that she fears before she marries. That way she can always face a new day knowing that-there are worse things."

"So what is it then? She go in the cavern?" The King asked a bit out of breath.

Tetsuk raised an eyebrow at the crowd that now circled him. "No, sire." His mouth finally was able to form the words.

"What is it then? Is she swimming or..."

"Sire, the Princess is afraid of heights." He pointed his pen to the top of the fall. They all saw the head of a creature peaking over the fall and then disappearing.

"A varactyl?" Hux asked curiously, but no one answered him. 

"What? No, get her down now-"

"Who am I to deny the princess a request? It will soon be her wedding day. I assure you sire the locals jump from there all the time. Just last week Hanuk jumped from there and well....that might not be the best example."

"He broke his leg you fool!" The queen began grabbing him by his robes when she was interrupted by a loud scream.

\-----

"Alright, Sheindi." Your hands were shaking as you held her reins. She cooed at you, a little perplexed. "Because no one has done it naked before...not for a Run at least."

She cooed again.

"No one's down there except Tetsuk. Now stop being a chicken and toss me-ahhhhhh!" She began running down the cliff, and then simply bucked you out of the riders seat. You made sure your legs were pin straight remembering having asked how Hanuk broke his leg. It felt like an eternity before you hit that beautiful cold, cold, cold, cold water. It took even longer for you to finally emerge.

\-----

"And apparently she is afraid of her clothes as well?" The King said something with anger in his voice in front of his guests for the first time. In Onrei it was not uncommon for anyone to be naked, but he knew the customs of his guests, and that this would appear- _unruly._

"Tetsuk raised his hands up in defense. "Her choice not mine...but I will make note for the archives.""

"You most certainly will not-" The King roared.

_Splash!_ You finally hit the water. The water stilled itself, and everyone looked up as the varactyl squawked waiting for it's master.

"Where is she?" The queen cried. She could not still herself long enough to keep her from running into the water. 

\-----

Your lungs screamed for mercy on your way back up, and they finally found relief as you emerged. The water glided over your skin, and a smile could not escape your lips. You flipped around waving about to Sheindi. She squawked back to you happily. Her feet gripped onto the edge of the rock awkwardly, and she moved her rear up a bit. "Oh no! Sheindi wait!" You screamed as she suddenly leapt from the top of the fall and was ascending quickly down to the water. You did a survival swim to get out of the way. You moved enough, so that at least you would not be sucked down with her. Unfortunately, the wave did catch you and tossed you into wildflowers. 

It knocked the breath right out of you and sent you into a little bit of shock. You gripped the flowers hyperventilating, trying desperately to regain rhythm in your breath.

"Y/N! Y/N!" Your mother came running over with your lavender dress robe. It was embroidered with the flowers that covered Onrei. She swung it over your shoulders and kissed your head so many times you lost count. She helped you up and tied it closed. You held onto her shoulders while you slipped on your boots. You excitedly explained what happened. "I know! I was there. And I, explicitly, told you not to participate in the Run. We have been looking for you. Your future husband is here-"

"Papa, did you see me? I did it!" You shrieked running over to him and embracing him.

"That a girl in a true Onrei fashion!" He growled happily picking you up. You moved away from him as you did take notice that Sheindi had not resurfaced. Bubbles erupted from the water, and she splashed out in all of her gorgeous blue green glory. Her beak lovingly nuzzled your cheek. You smoothed back her feathers making sure she looked ok. She bumped her beak under your torso sending you flying up into the air and catching you in your seat. 

"Woah." You tried to calm her, but something was distressing her. You looked down to the three. The red, the silver, and the black. You thought it might be them, but then there was a loud roar in the distance. A gray and red blur fell into your eye line. The Reek had escaped. Three men, each riding varactyls, chased after it. It didn't seem like it was going well.

"Y/N!" Your mother screamed after you as you immediately went full speed ahead. 

"They need help mama!" You called back. 

"Everyone into the cruiser." The King called out making everyone safely climb aboard. They trailed after you although it was difficult to keep up. 

Sheindi got to it's left, but it showed no signs of slowing down. You pulled back to it's rear and spoke with one of the men as you rode.

"Do you have anything to stop it?"

"Just tranqs."

"Tranqs? It's back is too thick."

"We got a lot of them." He tossed you a gun, and you pulled off back to the left and took aim as you rode. You shot well enough, but only three really stuck into the tough hide. Not enough to knock it out. The other men got a couple more, but still it did not stop. You tossed the gun aside, and Sheindi ran ahead of the Reek using it's tail to insight it's anger to follow you. 

"I think he is following us." You looked back, and he picked up speed as your eyes widened. "Oh yea, he is definitely following us!"

Sheindi whipped and wound around the fields, but you felt her to feel a bit drained. You were nervous trying to push her on. You fell to the Reeks right, hoping it would forget about you and become tired. But it did not. "Well, my friend, this is it." You said as you felt that you did not quite take a turn sharp enough, and the Reek was surely about to collide into you. Suddenly, you felt Sheindi fly upwards as if a force stopped her. She had fallen back with you still in the seat. You hit the ground hard again, but this time it was on your side. You got up to check on Sheindi, but froze as you saw the dark phantom raise his hand from the land cruiser. The Reek had come to a stop. It struggled to breath and then, slowly and weakly, it's stomach stopped heaving and it dropped to the ground.

A shiver cleared your spine while the hairs on the back of your neck raised. _He was the one you were to marry._ A man that simply raises his hand and crushes the life out of a living thing. The suns were kissing the horizon again, and all the bravery you had managed to muster through out life had fallen away at the scene.


	2. Stable Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and taking time to comment and or leave kudos! It means a lot to me because I am so very shy. <3
> 
> Anyway! We're getting to the some serious bits and fun bits....just not this chapter. I do apologize, but I do like a bit of plot with my smut. However, there is just a smidgen of humiliation in here for those of you who are into that. 
> 
> XOXO

The smaller wisps of your hair fluttered about as you looked on from the terrace. Your ankle throbbed from being fell on, and Sheindi sat curled at the end of the stairs tending to her own wounds. You called for Jentu and ordered for her immediate care. A dull ache settled in your stomach as the guilt permeated through you. She would have not been so terribly hurt if she hadn't scooped you up from danger. Sheindi had been just as terrified as you seeing the Reek collapse. She probably even understood it better than you as you didn't move, but she was quick for action. No, your friend would not have you suffer at the hands of the dark menace which was much more than what you could say for your parents. Her wounds parted as she ran as through the fields. Flecks of blood even stained the fibers of your gown. She was taken to the stables but not without some resistance. She did not trust what was in store for you as just then the land cruiser was speeding over the horizon. Juts of dust spurted out from each side in unison. You would not wait for it. Not that thing. Not that monster. You ordered that fruit be delivered to her before slipping behind the palace doors and up to your room. You did not want to see your mother, or, at least, you did not want her to see you. She would only chastise you for the injury which you would wholeheartedly admit you deserved...just not to her face.  


_____

Kylo could feel the fury from your mother and the worry from your father. They both radiated so differently that it felt entertaining for once for Kylo to feel the dynamic. However upset or concerned they may be they were presentable and well spoken to the General on the matter as they exited the cruiser. 

"Fast rider isn't she?" Hux cooed coyly. 

"She has had Sheindi since she was nine, and Sheindi was given to her as an egg." Your father beamed about your bond. 

"She also has a _strict_ curfew, General."

"At her age?"

"Given the circumstances you can see how much trouble she is capable of. However, I doubt that this mishap is due to her own inhibition. In fact, before my wedding day I walked over a bed of fire and broke a precious vase dear to my mother. It is a little of what you call _cold feet._ Just displayed in a different manner than what you are use to. It comes with the territory." Your mother gave him an amused smirk. 

"Certainly."

"She will need time to adjust to your customs. We Onrei are a spirited race." Your father intervened placing an arm around his shoulder. 

"Well let us just hope her feet don't get too cold. Wouldn't want to find her all the way out on Hoth-"

"General. She is young, and you must admit no matter the suitor....this is a terrifying prospect. I assure you she will not run."

"I shall see to it."The vocoder cracked like a whip through the conversation before he moved just as quickly through the palace doors.

_____

You sat in the tub mumbling to yourself as Lakira poured more hot water. Your foot twitched at the sudden sensation. Her eyes chided you. 

"Don't you start. Mama will be here any moment to give me a good thrashing. I know what I did was....cowardly. Can you blame me though?"

"Princess, I fear for you." She spoke with such a righteousness it made you blush, but of course in your anxiety you covered it up with sarcasm.

"Thank you. I really needed to hear those words before being sling shot off into the First Order with a crazed husband."

"So you will not run?" Her eyes beamed with hope. 

"Of course not...no. I will hide while I can-but we will marry. I will not abandon my people so easily. Just a little childishness left in me before...". You stared into the inlaid wood of your door. The design was geometric in style which was very odd for Onrei as most art and design here was more organic in nature. It had been a gift from a previous suitor. A suitor you turned down almost immediately at the mention of his name. You simply were not ready at that age, and your parents respected you. Now it was your turn to respect them, and the wishes of your planet. 

"What gown would you like to wear to dinner?" Lakira tore you from your thoughts.

"Dinner? Oh goodness." You leaned back into the tub ready to drown yourself. "I thought you said in their culture the bride and groom are separate before they marry?"

"Sometimes. Given the scenario though I think they would like to observe you before the arrangement. "

"Wonderful." You groaned while waving your hand lazily. "I suppose the green one then-"

Three hard raps at the door caused it to tremble on it's hinges. You looked back to Lakira thinking it was your mother. You sent her on her way through one of the other passages as you exited the tub throwing a light robe over yourself. You didn't even bother to close it before opening the door for her. 

He was much larger than expected at this range. You understood him to be tall, but here at this distance he was a formidable height. Your face flushed white as did your knuckles from gripping the door knob awaiting to close it. You didn't though. You were engrossed in what the monster had to say...if it could even talk at all. Your hand trembled the longer he stood staring at you through that black visor, but when his head finally moved down looking over your form you figured that was the time for words. It was not, apparently, as the wind from his cape hit your skin harshly while he stomped his way back down the hall. 

You were glad for the encounter to end in such a way.

Unfortunately, it did not save you from your mother barging into your room moments later. 

"Do you have a death wish?"

"No, Mama." You flopped back into your bed as Lakira had finished preparing you for dinner. 

"Do you realize how you have jeopardized all of Onrei with your antics?"

"Yes, Mama I know...I'm sorry." Your eyes saddened at seeing your mother's dismay. 

"Are you Y/N? Are you really? Look at me. You have to stop with this foolishness. You saw...you saw." She didn't have to tell you as the Reek reappeared in your mind. Your life was very much at stake, and he made that very apparent. She laid gently down next to you in the bed and kissed your hand tenderly. "You must stop. You will have no title when you marry him, whether he carries one or not, he will overshadow you. Regardless, you must act as a queen. You are representing not only us, but you are helping in keeping the galaxy in balance."

"You can't believe that Mama. You can't." Your throat tightened as the tears pushed fiercely at your eyes.

"Don't. You must persist."

"Tell me."

"Hmm?"

"Did he take off his helmet?"

"No." She said bluntly. "Which shows his own set of qualms with the arrangement which makes him even more dangerous. Ensure that you are an asset in this...perhaps he will find it more difficult..." A sob almost escaped her, but you hugged her closely. It was one thing for your father to cry. He had once cried finding a caterpillar nestled in a rose, but your mother...she absolutely did not cry, and it jumbled your nerves to see her so close to a state. "Come let us stop this nonsense, or we will be late for dinner." She pulled you up and rubbed her thumbs gently under your eyes being wary of not smudging your makeup.  


_____

There was no need to rush as the three chess pieces, as you called them, had not even arrived yet. 

"Perhaps, they went home." You joked taking a sip of your wine. 

"We wouldn't dream of it Princess. Our apologies for the tardiness. Your palace is quite the maze. I am afraid we are more accustomed to a block system ourselves."

You leaned back in your seat practically ready to roll your eyes at the man's excuses. You were happy to see that he at least had changed out of his uniform and into something a little less rigid. The other two were still walking statues, but it would suffice for now. You were sure you would make many blunders when you joined them in their world. Many.

"It's quite alright General. When we have had enough drink we ourselves have trouble finding our way to the bathroom. Please take a seat." The king reassured them. 

Your thumb swayed over the lip of your glass wondering how the statues would eat with their helmets on. The answer was simple-they would not. Your mother was sure to explain this to the servants as they were perplexed about putting down plates before them. You chuckled as they stumbled into each other throwing them off rhythm as someone had never refused a meal in Onrei. On any other occasion your parents would have insisted, but not on a day like today especially with a day like tomorrow awaiting. 

The General was the only one to speak with Phasma only mentioning her appreciation for Onrei's military and combative games.

"You should compete." You mentioned to her in slight admiration. You were becoming fond of her suit even as it was easier to admire. Perhaps a little less...unsettling.

"Women are allowed?"

"Of course."

"It's just I didn't see any."

"We compete in separate arenas until the champions are found for that day, and then the genders are put together. Too much wrestling together leads to a lot of...tensions."

"Tell me are the women...ehm dressed for their combative games?" Hux piped in.

Had Kylo been drinking he would have most certainly choked. 

"What do you mean?" You asked perplexed. "Women of Onrei are all dressed-"

"Well what I mean is, pardon the interruption Princess, is are their breasts covered?"

"Depends on the event. What would that matter?"

"Don't you think that may be where the tension is coming from?"

"I am sorry....I am afraid I don't follow." You told him earnestly. 

"Well what I mean is-"

"Hold on General, we need an interpreter perhaps?" Your mother interjected.

"I well I mean-it is not so serious to deem that necessary-"

You raised a hand as Lakira made her way over to you. You explained to her the question as she understood their customs a lot better than you would. None of you were stupid this was just...a foreign arena. Once you got the jist you chuckled.

"You think they are excitable by breasts?"

"It is a sexual organ."

"They see breasts everyday. Even royalties breasts. Men in Onrei are taught from an early age that breasts are not only sexual, and that having the utmost control is more important than desires. You gain no respect otherwise. Tensions arise from peacocking. Part of that is only due to wanting to mate, but the other....to prove who is the strongest."

"I thoroughly apologize I-"

"There is no need. I will misunderstand many things when I arrive. I just hope all of you have the patience to survive me." You glanced to Kylo before taking another sip from your glass. 

"We will most certainly try."

_Will you?_ Was all that could echo through your mind. You didn't believe him, but you kept up the facade. The more headway you made through dinner the more you noticed he would glance at your cleavage now and again. 

You shuffled uncomfortably at the General's occasional gaze. So much so you asked to be pardoned from the dinner table. You looked to your parents who in turn kept their eyes on the dark menace. They were asking his permission in _their own_ kingdom. It was unusual for a woman to be dismissed by a man in Onrei, future husband or not. Parents were a different story. 

"You may."

The crackling of the vocoder when he spoke rung through your head. _You may._ Nothing would have satisfied you more than to crack that helmet open and get a look at the pathetic monster that must hide his face away. _What was he hiding anyway?_ Your mind wandered aimlessly through the possibilities so much so that you almost traveled to your true destination. You froze in the middle of the hall as you felt an energy fixated on you. Your head turned slightly looking just beyond your shoulder. There was nothing there, but you could feel it. It felt like _him._ Would you ever know privacy again? Even if he wasn't in the presence of you it seemed he was watching. 

You shook off the feeling and continued down the soft golden hallways and back to your room. You leaned against the door resting your head against it. After tomorrow you were never allowed to return to this room again as was with custom for bride and groom. Childhood would be left behind and diplomacy in it's stead. You preferred childhood for obvious reasons. You sank to the floor wrapping your arms around your knees as you looked over the books where toys once sat. 

Your education was extensive, but still not good enough for the reeducation you would be receiving once you joined your husband in his own home. Dinner had went smooth. Unfortunately, only because they were on your turf. Once on theirs...you didn't know how your fate would twist. 

_____

"Well that went well."

"Yes, perhaps too well." Phasma spoke coyly to her associate.

"What do you mean?"

"You forget not only can he read minds, but he can also see what you are doing. You should not ogle a temperamental man's future wife."

"I wasn't-"

"General, two things have rung true since we have landed....You have not stopped sneezing, nor has your eye line been directed above the neck of any woman here!"

"I can't help it. I am sure Master Kylo has had similar sentiments. He just has a helmet on to protect his view."

"Well then in that case he is still the smarter of the two of you. Stop being a fool and keep it together. All of this niceness....gives me the willies."

"We will be out of here soon enough. The Princess will get acclimated, and then we enact phase two."

"You think she will trust you so quickly?"

"Of course. He cannot resist being a brooding mess can he? No, Master Kylo is too moody for his own good, and I will be there to _save the day._"

"And if that doesn't work?" She asked crossing her arms.

"Then we blackmail her."

"With what?"

"Go on off to bed Captain. You leave this up to me."

"Don't screw this up." She threatened lowly before slinking back to her room. 

_____

You waited until the dead of night to leave your room. Your black gown slipped quietly over the rug as you maneuvered through the dark corridors. Nothing. The lights were put out at least two hours ago. You stayed out of view of the windows and open doorways before you finally made it outside. 

The tall grass fields kept your vision evaded from prying eyes, and for you at the moment, it was safe to assume there were always prying eyes. The shadows drifted about with the wind tickling the edges of light. The tips of some of the shorter blades grazing over your neck and face. This did not help with the paranoia that rutted about in your body. 

You paused with eyes wide as you heard a larger rustle in the grass than what you were producing at the moment. The scene looked just as it had with no darker shadow revealing itself. No sudden noise to betray a spy. You had to keep moving. It had to be done tonight. Your ankle would pang with pain from time to time. Your mother kept pillows beneath it on the bed having found the injury of course. She forewarned you to be careful while you were out to not make the injury worse.

You were lucky for Sheindi's injury as it gave you plenty of story to cover why you were out at the stables. Once inside your body ached to go to the aid of her, but she was fast asleep. You were happy to know the Hands knew to knock her out with a sedative. Her squawks of happiness would've alerted someone. You did not need the triumvirates curiosity peaked in the slightest. You damned yourself and your parents for putting this off for so long, but you had to be sure that they were the last one. They _have_ to be the last one, or no one would know. 

You pulled your hood further over your head as the door flung open. 

"Sorry." One of your handmaidens whispered out as the other pushed a man inside. 

"It's alright. Hurry up. Inside." You commanded. "Thank you. Thank you so much for this." You praised them all as they prepared him.

Unbeknownst to you there two sets of eyes peering through the cracks of some of the boards through the stables. 

"Are you ready?" You asked reluctantly.

"Yes." The man puffed out his chest proudly. 

"You are doing a beautiful service to Onrei." He was brought to his knees and your hand grazed over the scar on his face. One of his first punishments for his crimes. 

"I must do her justice."

You nodded unsure if _everything_ had been explained to him about the task. It was something you would never know, and that your parents would never let you live with. "I here declare before Lakira and Juraka that you are free of your time served, but instead will serve Onrei in sacrifice." You pulled a knife from beneath your robe and raised it above your head.

"May she bless me with her favor."

Hux was more than satisfactory with his findings.

_____

Your hands scrubbed fervently at your skin the next late afternoon. You asked Lakira to help. You weren't sure why you were rushing. Probably because the guilt was coming in waves and knocking you in and out of a melancholic state. Taking the dirt away felt like there would be some relief. Lakira grabbed your hands and gave a caring yet knowing look. She dug underneath the nails to get the dirt out that had collected underneath throughout the day and was careful to clean off any reminiscences of blood. 

You had not left your room since last night. You were afraid of your future husband, and the strange customs you would need to accommodate. But even more so than that, you were afraid of consummating marriage. Sex was a major part of Onrei life, so the thought of that wasn't scary. You had "encounters" not necessarily losing your virginity, you were still royalty, but you did have some experience. Virginity was not something so important in Onrei for any sex. The only reason it was even important for royalty were for arrangements like these when it mattered to the culture that the Onrei were getting involved with. _Had he though?_ Did he have scary perversions, or would he avoid touching you at all unless to bear children? Children was another subject that made your skin prickle. If he did not treat you well, then neither would your child. 

"Are you alright, miss?" Lakira's voice perked up. She needed reassurance that you would not break. 

"Yes...What do you know of Master Kylo Ren, Lakira?"

Her mouth formed a line as she finished cleaning up the small scrapes that you had collected on your arms and legs from the days previous. "Not much to be honest ma'am."

"Even a little helps." You pressed a hand onto hers. Your eyes begging for her honesty.

She leaned down bringing her lips to your ear. "Destroyer of planets, crusher of souls, king of rampages. I fear for you, Princess. I will pray for your safety each and every day. I thank you Princess as perhaps our planet will not be destroyed if you are there."

Your breath quivered so lightly it was almost inaudible. "Thank you, Lakira.". There was no positive note to the beast. You stepped out of the bath deciding you were clean enough. You dried yourself off and a few more handmaidens came in to dress you. They put on your delicate undergarments and slipped your dress over that. It was pale blue, of course, as that was the color that looked best on you. It was sleeveless and had a deep v neck that showed a fair amount of cleavage. The bottom was embroidered with intricate gold embroidery, and it glittered even in the softest of lights. They pulled back the top half of your hair making braids while the rest hung curled halfway down your back. They put a little kohl to accent your eyes and red stain on your lips from berries from the fields. Your mother entered as they were beginning to place the angel's veil upon your head.

"You are dismissed ladies." The women filed out leaving you and your mother alone. She was wearing a lavender dress and her hair was in a neat updo. Her hands grazed the veil before she picked it up and placed it onto your head. She pulled pins from your vanity and situated it appropriately. "You must lie with the veil your first night."

"I know, Mama." You whispered annoyed that the phrase seemed to be all you said these days. She looked at you with concern seeing worry in your eyes for the first time in a long time. 

"I know you are scared, and you have every right to be." She pressed her lips to your head and wiped at your cheeks as the tears could not be held back any longer. "You are my only child." She choked out. "I don't want to let you go, but that is my duty as well. Please, stay safe. Please." She hugged your head to her bosom. You felt the hot tears spread down over your forehead. This was hurting her just as much as it was hurting you. You stood up embracing her tightly. She whispered in your ear, and then fixed your makeup again and escorted out of your room. It would be the last time you would ever be in there.

_____

You stood in the dim candlelight as both of your parents fawned over you. It was all you tried to remember as the doors opened and revealed more candles, flowers, and people. The last moments you belonged to your parents and yourself. It was the only thing keeping you together. You held your head high, but in your peripheral vision you kept seeing people's tear stained cheeks. You did not know how to take it, but you felt a wave of embarrassment pass through you as you saw your groom wearing the monstrous helmet. 

_____

He saw you last night. He didn't know your destination. He had only hoped that you would not be here, now, before him. Silent.

_____

Your mother and father helped you up the step and took their seats. You glanced up into the mask and saw your reflection in his visor. A slight cough echoed from out in the seats. It was the red chess piece. Kylo turned his attention to him and then raised a hand clicking something on the helmet. You could no longer hear him breath as loudly as before. _So he's not going to take it off?_ You bit at the inside of your cheek as you thought of falling down the falls earlier yesterday, and how it would have been better if you had fallen funny. 

You were pulled out of your thoughts by the officiant. 

"Y/N?"

"Hmm?"

"Take his hand."

"Oh." You laughed it off nervously seeing his gloved hands in front of you. You put your hands into his. You were surprised to feel how warm they were even through the leather. _Is he just as nervous as me?_

The ceremony was certainly a blur. The only thing in particular that you could remember was his voice had been like velvet bouncing around in his helmet. It was pleasant enough that you almost forgot he was a monster.

"You may kiss."

Your anxiety peaked wondering if he would take off the helmet. After a long pause it was enough to assume he would not. What were you suppose to kiss? The dark form stood rigid not even granting you the courtesy of leaning down, so that you would not have to find a stool to kiss this makerforsaken tree. You trying to find the strength to do something for your people got on your tip toes and pressed a hand to his helmet where his cheek would have been. Your lips hesitantly planted a kiss onto perhaps somewhere around where his lips should be. The crowd happily clapped and cheered and you walked down the aisle hand in hand with the dark lord. 

When you arrived to the reception you were guided to the front where you and Kylo sat cross legged in front of your table. The food was excessive and extravagant, of course, and the flowers more fragrant than usual. You looked at your husband raising an eyebrow. It would be an insult not to eat _again_ , but you think he was willing to take the risk, and your parents were willing to wholeheartedly accept the insult. It annoyed you more than anything. Payback did come though as they graced your heads with crowns of flowers, and for a brief moment you saw the destroyer of planets wearing a head full of flowers. 

You giggled, and it was over almost instantly as he looked over to you. You weren't sure if he was alright with that..you weren't sure if he would ever be especially if he never took off the helmet. You greeted and smiled as many people came up giving you gifts and wishing you well. Kylo sat as still as stone. You felt frustrated, but you kept it tucked down deep inside. 

You turned as you heard a tap at the window. Your legs adjusted underneath you while you turned around unlocking it. Sheindi cooed in a little of her delirium. She came even still in her injury. You grinned petting her beak and placing a small kiss onto it. You reached backwards toward your plate searching for a piece of fruit. You felt something being pushed into your hand. You looked back to Kylo pressing a piece of meat into your hand. You smirked at him trying to be helpful.

"She won't eat that. Can you hand me the pink fruit there....please?" You asked fumblingly. He put the meat down and handed you the fruit you asked for. "Would you like to give it to her?" He shook his head and returned his gaze forward. _Well that was short lived_ you thought rubbing your nose to her beak. You gently pushed her away and closed the window behind you. 

You were greeted by Gerantilen and, given the nature of the event, not very warmly. You called him Geran, for short, as you were both childhood friends. His bow was low and sweeping as he wanted to project the utmost respect although his eyes proved faulty. He was upset about something, and your intuition already knew that he needed to be led away before Kylo could get his tendrils wrapped around him. 

"Master Kylo." He nodded before taking your hand into his and giving it a soft kiss. This made Kylo's head snap towards him instantly. Your heart jumped at the sudden movement. You made a note to yourself that he was-territorial.

"This is my childhood friend Geran. Geran. Master Kylo." Your voice strained and found relief at the end of the sentence. 

"I have heard so much about you sir. It is a pleasure meeting a great warrior such as yourself. If it does not displease you, sir, I would very much like a dance with your wife?"

Your eyes shot daggers to Geran for being so bold, but they soon fixated on the Commander. His shoulders tensed before finally relaxing and flicking his wrist giving his approval.

Geran was holding out his hand for you to take, but you secured them on your gown as you rose. Your back tense feeling his eyes burrowing deeper and deeper into you. You felt a stinging sensation at the back of your head but only for a moment before you got to the dance floor. You kept your hands in the appropriate places and suggested Geran do the same. 

"He watches you closely for someone who would not grant you a kiss."

"Please let us not get into this Geran." You focused on the steps of the song. You were not a fair dancer. In fact, you hated to dance, but it was a simple enough song, and it was a simple enough wish from a friend.

"Why shouldn't I be angry, Y/N? You performed the ceremony last night-to a convict no less."

"Geran, stop." Your eyes bulged while your teeth gritted to stay in a smile. 

"You could have saved her-"""

"You do not understand the pact-"

"Nor shall I. How traitorous your parents have become?"

"Stop."

"I will not. Not until you desist from the heinous mark on Onrei history-"

"I will not condone such a conversation. Not with you. You will bear your own heinous mark if you continue-"

"Not by your hand. Hmm? Do I deem myself rich enough in your favor? I suppose not considering you speak of treason."

Both of your movements had become so rapid that others stopped dancing to watch what was going on. Though your words exchanged had been spoken so viciously and rapidly, they were not heard. 

"You betray yourself given how languid you speak."

He turned you roughly and growled out, "She died, and my oldest friend could all but stand there and watch."

"What outcome do you think it would have been otherwise?"

"She would not be dead!" He shouted at you before turning you out. He did turn you out violently, but even you knew it had been your own feet that caused your tumble to the ground. You breathed heavily not realizing you had been losing your breath in the conversation. Your face flushing red as many eyes took their time observing you. Your fingers pressed into the cold stones beneath your hands. Geran had not looked sorry. _Nor should he be._ You admitted to yourself. _He should never be sorry for this._ You leaped backwards as you heard the thud against the ground.

You listened while his clothes rustled against the stones. The crowd already taking a few breaths of shock and taking a few secure steps back. Your eyes widened at seeing him slide across the floor to the smear of black that besmirched the image of the dining hall. The dark gloved hand raised as the Commander's boot collided to his chest bringing him to a halt.

You watched as Kylo's chest heaved with anger. You hoped he would someday let you know him enough to stop him from being angry. Until then it was your environment that you would have to keep under control, and that could be so very difficult with the amount of people here. You caught your breath, and it felt like all time had remained still, but your mind could not. Too many images flashed of the fall, the reek, the fields, your parents. You could not stop them from erupting. The words cramming in your throat. You thought you were going to faint. How shamefully pitiful that you would have to make audience of him dying too?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear...


	3. Etiquette

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay!!! Thanks everyone for taking the time to bookmark, kudos, or comment!! You're the best and very welcoming. This chapter took a bit of time, and I apologize for the tardiness. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Some serious bits. Rape/non-con, control/manipulation. You've been warned, and I don't want you sad or angry because then I will be very sad or angry. :'( 
> 
> It will be a roller coaster from here on out, and I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> XOXO

Your voice quivered over the words like a low hanging fog. Not sure what Kylo might have done next, the General and towering chrome soldier stepped forward. The slow yet ever pressing deterioration of your insides came to halt as you thanked the Maker for their intervention. The General encouraged you from the floor as he spoke.

"Princess, I am so sorry to cut your wedding short, but we must be leaving. I am afraid Master Kylo is _needed_ back on base." He made sure to make his words curt and clear, so that the Commander would not do anything reckless. 

"I understand, General." The muscles relinquished your vocal cords while your eyes fell to your husband. Kylo promptly removed his foot from Geran's chest before taking the few short steps down from his position. His hand laid open before you awaiting your response. Your insides bellowed with leeriness, but you had other instincts of fear pushing your hand forward and taking comfort in his warmth. 

The guests were left to their own inhibitions well within the confines of the palace walls while your servants loaded your belongings in their rightful place. Your fingers dug into the fabric of your gown as you wandered outside the ship. It was not your first time seeing one; however, it would be the first time you have ever ridden in one. Yes, you had cruisers, but in Onrei no one had left the atmosphere....well you couldn't even remember when. You concentrated on the stories your mother would tell you as a child just before bed, but the dates or at least time periods escaped you. Onrei had it's own arsenal of ships in an undisclosed location. There was no need for them as Onrei had not been to war in well over three hundred years. Not entirely at least. Onrei never went to war on other planets. It was one of the few planets that had preference on bringing destruction to it's own home front. Even with obvious disadvantages and advantages to this it made your planet formidable and caused the Onrei little to no strife. So the ships remained untouched. You imagined them sitting in a cavern somewhere. Rusted. Forgotten. Even in depths of your mind they had been forgotten. The memories rippled as you remembered wanting to find them as a child. To explore. Now here you were before the ship that would do exactly that. Except this time you were not so fond of the idea especially when you realized the ship would not be big enough for her....

Sheindi cooed as she limped her way through the flowers causing some of the pollen to float through the cool blue moonlit night. A thunderous sneeze fled from the General's mouth once again causing strands of his copper hair flail about.

"My apologies yet again, Princess. It's that the terrain on Star Killer base....it would not be good for her health. She would die within a week." Hux did his best to speak tranquilly while trying to squeeze down another sneeze.

"I understand." You lied while your fingers curled around her face. "May I have a moment?"

"Of course." He was quick to scurry away from the pet that seemed to carry the foreign body that his own could not handle. You watched for a few moments as Kylo stood on the ramp watching you intently like a daunting reminder. Your mother and father joined you as you said goodbye to Sheindi. Your fingers meticulously cleaned her feathers as you spoke softly to her giving a few small pecks here and there. You were lingering you knew, but it couldn't be helped. Your mother placed a hand on your shoulder knowing the rising tension within your husband could become treacherous had you allowed more time to hold him from his tasks.

Tears quietly hit her feathers as you gave one last hug. They clung just as the rain had a morning ago. You hushed to your mother. "I know you have never been too fond of her, but please ride her....you're the closest thing to being me, and I don't know how much I can visit." She gave a reassuring grip on your hand while petting your hair and burying her face in your neck. You knew better than to expect tears from her now, but you had been grateful for them in private. You could not ask more of her. You knew if she spoke she would not be able to silence her cries, so she simply didn't speak. Her hands did though as they had much difficulty letting you go. They roamed over you in a fretful manner. You gripped her hands tightly and pressed your forehead to hers. "I'm ok."

"Papa." Your lips graced both of his cheeks. "Keep the people's spirits up. No matter what you hear, no matter what happens." His tears drained down over your own cheeks while some plummeted down your neck. He was not ashamed to cry in front of strangers. "I will do my duty."

Kylo's back turned on you before you even made it up the ramp. He paused having stopped hearing your footsteps. He looked on as you reassured Sheindi to stay. The animal slowly toed forward not willing to leave her master. He raised his hand freezing her in place. She squawked at first which soon turned into a wild wail as the door was closing. You turned to him eyeing him furiously. "Let go of her." You demanded him. You. His fingers started to curl when your fear stricken face contorted. "Please." He didn't know if it was the word, or the way the begging hugged it, but he soon found himself opening his hand no longer threatening to crush her but still keeping her in place. He pointed to a seat for you to sit in. You sat down hesitantly. General Hux helped buckle you in and took a seat himself. The distressed cries of Sheindi is what kept your gaze on him or else you wouldn't imagine you would have cared to look at all. The craft steadily began to float. As soon as his hand dropped to his side your face planted itself against the window alongside your hand. Her strides caused the heads of the flowers to shred apart as she ran ferociously chasing the ship. 

"I'll come back for you." Your voice trembled, and the tears broke as you heard the loudest screech she has ever made. For the third or fourth time that night your chest was wreaking havoc doing it's best to not tear itself apart. You were lucky for the newfound feeling of terror as the ship began picking up pace. Your fingernails dug into the seats. You were almost certain you were going to die. _How was everyone else so relaxed?_

Kylo watched as you took a deep breath out doing your best to ease your quaking nerves He _could_ help you, but he did not want to help. The worst part was yet to come as it kicked into hyperspace. It took no time at all as the ship rested it's platform in the hangar of the Star Killer base. You steadied your head in your hands trying to make sure you would not vomit. 

"Are you alright?" The chrome soldier asked.

You gave her a nod and continued your pursuit of not emptying the contents of your stomach. Kylo flicked his finger unlatching your seat belt before getting up himself and stalking off the ship. The General took the lead as the Commander abandoned you. Your steps cautious down the ramp as you began to see white feet...and then chests...and then helmets. There were hundreds of them awaiting and staring. You would never forget these dark eyes boring into your soul. They looked like thick walking skeletons. A few walked past you getting onto the ship and collecting your things which you gladly took a healthy step away from them. A foreboding sign of strength to have them awaiting your arrival. 

"Follow me." The General said in a short manner as he started his rapid pace through the ship. Everything was so sterile....and grey....and black. And it was always either too dark or too light. It was too much for your brain to take in, so you just did your best to stare at the reflection of the General's feet on the shiny black floors. His footsteps ceased and his hand extended while his long slender fingers worked mechanically punching a code into a door. He stepped aside awaiting for you to muster enough courage to even glance at what he had to reveal.

The room was extremely dark with the exception of your large window that showed the hundreds of stars in the sky and a dark muddled ground. 

"This is your room." General Hux said happily. "The refresher is over there. Here is a datapad, so that you may order food, and here are your belongings. Arrange them as you would like." You took the strange screen from his grasp and looked at it perplexed.

"Where is Kylo?" The question fell flat onto the floor, but even then it ruffled the General's feathers.

"As I said before Princess he is needed at the moment. You can expect him to be busy most days."

Your nod released him from any further obligation, and he took his leave. You put the datapad down on the black nightstand and sat on the soft, black sheets. All the furniture was black. It felt like a cave. How were you suppose to live here? You looked at yourself in the mirror. Your fingers fidgeted against the pins in your hair as you yanked them out one by one. 

_____

**Flashback**

_Your mother grabbed you close." And did you go to your lesson with Fero?"_

_" Yes, Mama." ___

____

_" A princess needs secrets of her own. Use his lessons and block him out when need be." _

____

_____

____

You had already been using the lessons on and off. Tonight would have been more important for you to really practice, but you wouldn't need those tonight. You took the veil and placed it on the table. You would not be needing that tonight either. A large blue green father was entangled in the sheer fabric bringing a warm smile to your lips. You placed it on your nightstand before crawling into bed with your dress on and counted the stars until you fell asleep.

____

_____

____

No one told you how cold it would be in space. Or lonely. Your mother warned you at least of that aspect.

____

_" You will feel the world is against you the first few days of your marriage. Do not allow that nonsense to sink in. They are as against you as hard as you push back." _

____

So far you were failing at taking this advice seriously.

____

Granted you had been there less than a week, but you were hard on yourself. You weren't sure how any of this was going to unfold. The veil still graced the table. Your dress just dangled around your waist. The makeup that was placed on you started to fade, and the datapad sat staring at you from the nightstand. Kylo hadn't been back which you were thankful for yet slightly worried. You didn't know what you were allowed to do, and what you weren't? So you spent a lot of time unpacking and rearranging your belongings but even that was becoming tiresome. You had eaten some of the food your mother packed. She was very thoughtful in this whole process knowing you would refuse the food of the base at least for a little while. It was mostly dried berries and meats as those kept very well. The only item that you continued to move was a plant native to your planet. Very little light managed to peak through even your large windows through out the day, so you worried deeply for it's life span here on Star Killer. So throughout the day you did what you could to make sure it got enough light.

____

You were pruning the plant when you felt it. The datapad's dark screen staring at you. Your mother's words constantly echoing to learn their culture. You had never seen a datapad in your life. Your fingers touched one of the buttons doubtful that anything would happen. It didn't turn on so you left it be.

____

You walked in your refresher curiously looking into the shower. You had never seen one of those either. You turned the knobs wondering what would happen. You jumped as water sprung from the weird metal head. The water sprinkled onto the ground and down the drain. You looked at it suspiciously before deciding it was for bathing. You tossed your gown to the ground and took off your undergarments. They weren't going to be seen anyway as Master Kylo had shown he was not interested in a wedding night.

____

You settled yourself on the ground and let the water pour over you. It was such an amazing feeling. You wondered why there wasn't anything like this in Onrei. Although you did enjoy a good bath this was stupendous. After what was probably an overdrawn shower, you went back into your room and put on one of your robes. One you would lounge around in back in Onrei.

____

You brought the fabric to your nose as you could smell traces of your mother's scent. You shook the feeling of nostalgia away as it desperately tried to grip you into sadness. You pressed your lips together while you took a seat on the bed. There was the datapad again. You sighed knowing you should learn how to use it. You pulled it from the charger once again and pushed a few of the other buttons. Light. Yes, you thought, as it blinked on or so you thought. You weren't sure what it was doing. You pressed a few other buttons before suddenly a white soldier from before was presented on the screen.

____

"Hello."

____

"Hello?" You spoke nervously to it.

____

"And welcome to Star Killer base."

____

"Thank you."

____

"In this video you will learn...."

____

You weren't sure what a video was, but it only took you about two minutes to realize it wasn't going to talk back to you. This made you realize how set Onrei was in it's ways. You had cruisers and ships, but you didn't have showers, datapads, or videos. It was a stark contrast, and one you never thought to question as most customs are not when one is born and raised in the same place.

____

"Yes?" The clanging knock fell onto your ears harshly.

____

"May, I come in Mis-er Mrs.?"

____

"Yes, of course." You said sitting up in bed and tucking your hair behind your ear.

____

There was a long pause.

____

"You'll have to open the door."

____

"Oh, um, I don't know how to do that."

____

"Oh my! Press your hand against the screen next to it. Completely flat Mrs." You got up hurriedly not wanting to keep him waiting any longer. Your hand touched the cold screen, and it warmed as it lit up and scanned your hand. The black door slid open revealing a tall, black, shiny droid with the biggest silver eyes you had ever seen. "No wonder there hasn't been activity in here for three days! Are you alright?" He shuffled his way in as he started to organize and clean your room. You studied him. You had seen a droid before. It did not look like him, but it was a droid. An ambassador from a neighboring planet brought it. It was suppose to be a gift, but you father turned it away as he said it never felt right keeping something like that as a gift. 

____

"Yes....I am sorry, but who are you?"

____

"My apologies. My name is M7HA. I am here to clean your room."

____

"Thank you."

____

"Sorry to intrude...and infer, but would you be in need further of my assistance?" You did not answer which made him a little nervous. "Perhaps with your datapad?"

____

Your eyes unconsciously glanced over to it. Your mother's words rung louder in your head as you gave a quick nod plucking it up off the nightstand. You had already learned some of the things he showed you, but you waited patiently as he spoke more and more.

____

"Alright, here we are. This is the button to turn it on. Here is how you can receive food. Doesn't that look delicious! A lot better than what they serve in the mess hall-"

____

"What do they serve in the mess hall?"

____

"Oh...it's just not as nice as this is all I mean-"

____

"May I see?"

____

M7HA wasn't sure about where your boundaries lied, but you were in an officers suite, so you should be able to go where officers go. "Of course. I will escort you. Oh-oh dear."

____

He turned away as you took off your dress and replaced it with a dressing robe and your grey suede riding boots.

____

"Are you ready?" Asking only because you weren't really sure what droids did to get ready.

____

"Yes."

____

"Then let's go." You held out your hand for his and pressed your other happily to the screen.

____

"Yes ma'am!" He led the way back into the cold hallway. Your hand held him at the crook of his elbow just so you would not get lost in the labyrinth of the base. It was quiet for the most part with the occasional marching echoing down the hall. When the white soldiers passed sometimes their heads would flicker to the side to look at you, but otherwise no one really bothered M7HA or you. He was very good at giving tours. There didn't seem to be anything he didn't know about the base.

____

"And here we are Mrs-"

____

"You can call me Y/N."

____

"Alright Mrs. Y/N-"

____

"No, just Y/N please."

____

"Yes, of course! And here we are M-Y/N. The mess hall."

____

It looked rather boring. There were long lines of windows where soldiers lined up with their silver trays. You watched as the droids behind the counter flopped the ladle of mush onto their plates. Your eyes squinted as you watched them habitually sit down and eat. Not only did the meal look unappealing, but they didn't seem to be enjoying their meals among each other at all.

____

"May we go down there?"

____

"Yes!" You dragged him along taking the staircases down. You got a lot of peculiar glances and side eyes as you walked with the droid in line. You picked up a tray and held it up to the window as the soldiers did. Your's bounced a little at the weight of the slop that landed on the tray. You were quick to find two empty spots and patted the seat next to you.

____

"Oh, I am not allowed to sit Miss."

____

"Really why?"

____

"It isn't allowed."

____

"But you are a guest. I am asking you to join me."

____

He thought for a few moments, and then decided it would be alright if he sat with you. The soldiers looked on at the weird sight unfolding in front of them. A droid sitting with a woman in brightly covered garb trying to enjoy a meal that she certainly didn't have to eat. 

____

You dipped your fingers into the substance and pressed it between your index finger and thumb to feel the consistency. You raised an eyebrow before your taste buds finally took the plunge. You covered your mouth regretting taking the bite at all.

____

"What is this?"

____

"It has all the basic nutritional needs that the sold-"

____

"Yes, but it is not edible! Food should make your taste buds dance...not cry. No wonder they are so quiet." A few of the soldiers nearby snickered at your disapproval of the food. "Do you like this?" You leaned over asking a soldier while holding a spoonful towards him. "Does this make you excited for breakfast? Do you get up overjoyed to come down here and be fed this....this I don't even know how to describe it." You take another mouthful to give you a better reference point on how to degrade it some more. Your face scrunched up and shook. A few of the soldiers began talking among each other about the food. 

____

The fiery haired General was passing through when he noticed you sitting with a droid. The soldiers seemed to be enjoying your company. Perhaps too much.

____

"Princess?" He walked to you in an extremely orderly manner. His suit was perfectly pressed and hair coufed to the point you almost didn't believe it was real. This was in stark contrast to him in Onrei where he was a sneezing mess.

____

"Princess?" The droid stood immediately.

____

"What are you doing sitting droid?"

____

"I invited him." You wanted to rid him of any insinuation that M7HA would dare break a rule. "He is accompanying me around the ship-"

____

"So you decided to bring her to the mess hall?"

____

You rose from your seat and stepped toward the General. "All your questions for him should be directed to me from this point on. I asked him to come here...he said the food was different." You swooped your finger into the mush and raised it to him. A look of disdain was already spreading across his face at the sight of it. "So you already know that it tastes like perhaps what a tauntaun's ass smells like?"

____

"Well I-"

____

"You feed them slop and expect them to function? In Onrei the soldiers are fed the best. Don't you think they deserve that at least if they will risk their lives for this?" You had not realized how quiet the cafeteria was until you heard your own voice ringing back at you. Pink graced your cheeks as you glanced around. "At least give them spices to flavor it." You mumbled.

____

The General face flushed and he shouted, "Get back to work." They quickly cleared out of the mess hall within a minute. "I will take your words into consideration, Princess." He gave a final nod and walked in the same manner as he arrived.

____

A feeling of doom tugged at your heart strings.

____

"Are you alright, Princess?"

____

"I think I just overstepped my bounds." You said sitting down and pushing your hands through your hair.

____

"Well perhaps...perhaps not. He is afraid of Master Kylo at least his heart rate goes up every time he is around."

____

You mauled over the thought. _That would be helpful if I weren't afraid of Master Kylo yourself._

____

You stayed out as long as you possibly could. You were not ready to retire into your cave. You watched as the light was dying over the tree line. You had never seen snow in your life, but you realized that muddled mess outside your window was snow, but the consistency of it on this side was different. You gazed in wonder as to why.

____

"And can we go outside?" You asked touching the glass with your hand.

____

"We would need a permit for it." He took your hand from the glass and cleaned the print you left behind.

____

"How do we get one of those?"

____

"Well we would go to the licensing and permits office and apply, and then perhaps in three months-"

____

"Three months?" Your jaw hung agape.

____

"Yes, that's about average on how long it takes."

____

"I don't think I can wait that long. Not that I am not grateful for my room...it's just I want to be outside."

____

"The weather isn't as fair here as it is on Onrei, Princess."

____

"No more of that Princess stuff. Please. Please, call me Y/N." You grabbed the droids hand gently.

____

"Alright....but not in front of Master Kylo."

____

"M7HA?"

____

"Hmm?"

____

"Did you know of my arrival, and of my marriage to-Commander Kylo." Your voice strained at the mention of his name.

____

"I knew of your marriage, but the date for your arrival was obscured. Perhaps for your own protection? Others who do not have clear allegiance with the First Order may have attempted to plot an attack had the real date of your arrival been given. It is unfortunate, but rumors travel fast around here, and secrets even faster. I did not know you were a Princess."

____

"I was."

____

"And you still are, are you not?"

____

"That depends."

____

"On customs in Onrei?"

____

"It depends on my husband."

____

You left him with less words than what your friendship started with at the daunting thoughts of "your husband". M7HA still left happily even at the sudden change in your mood. He understood you would need time adjusting, and he would happily guide you along the way after being treated so nicely. 

____

These amicable thoughts quickly stopped as he saw the flurry of a black cape stride by. He was never in a good mood, but this time seemed worse.

____

_____

____

It was very early into the next cycle when you heard a ringing in your ears. You rubbed your eyes before rising and tapping the datapad. There were no messages or anything on the screen, but it desisted as soon as you touched it so you returned to bed. It wasn't finished though as it began ringing again. You grumbled getting up once again and shutting it off. The door huffed open causing you to jump. You tugged at your robe that was falling off your shoulders and smoothed back your hair. A small, black boxy droid sat waiting in front of your door.

____

"Hello?"

____

It did not say anything, so you approached it slowly. It was moving away with every step you took towards it and would stop if you did. You mumbled under your breath, deciding it was playing with you, you returned to your quarters. Furious rapid beeps emitted from the small droid when you felt a small shock on your leg.

____

"Ouch!" You rubbed the small burn while quickening your pace after him. "Get back here you little jerk."

____

Turn after turn you chased him, and if you stopped, then he would shoot a small shock your way again infuriating you to no end. He was within fingertips reach when he stopped suddenly sending you tumbling over him and inside an elevator. It sung it's beeping noises happily as the doors closed behind you. You cursed under your breath looking over the damage done to your legs before tying your robe closed and crossing your arms. There were no buttons or screens or anything of the sort in this elevator. Just two large black doors and some light panels held in place with bars of metal along the walls. The doors finally relinquished their hold, and you stared out into the darkness.

____

He was sitting there in the dark with only the glow of the refresher and stars outside to illuminate him. Your heart started pounding in your ears. He was relaxed in his own sort of odd fashion. Once you had stepped out far enough he flicked his wrist forcing the doors shut behind you. His quarters were larger than yours, but there was nothing grandiose about it except perhaps in the way of it's openness. Everything was together, so that all could be seen from any room you were in with the exception of the closet. Even the shower and sink could be seen from the bed. His fingers tapped against the datapad before sighing which only came out as a gargle through his vocoder.

____

"I thought you should join me for breakfast. Considering my long absence."

____

The whites of your eyes glowed in the dark as the fear crept up your spine. "It's very early Master Kylo....I am afraid I am not hungry."

____

"For future reference I will not repeat myself. Sit." He brought his leather glove before him waving over to the seat across from him.

____

You walked over, your bare feet pattering against the cold ground. You couldn't help but eye the lone dish with the silver lid hiding it's contents. Only one and his mask was on, so it wouldn't be him that would be eating. He looked like a shadow sitting in front of that window. It was the largest one you have seen yet, and you were more partial to the view than what yours had provided. His had abundantly more stars and less slush.

____

It was an eternity before you made it over to the seat. You pulled it out to sit when he stopped you. "You must always ask my permission."

____

"But you told me to si-"

____

"Not in a chair." He corrected.

____

You bit at your bottom lip placing the chair back where it sat before and remained standing.

____

"Aren't you going to ask me?"

____

"I would rather stand."

____

"Are you sure? Because that wouldn't be very polite to me now would it? If you stand, I have to stand, and once I stand well you won't like it if I have to stand on your account."

____

"I-" Your words were cut short when your bum plummeted harshly to the ground. 

____

"You will ask."

____

You were hyperventilating from the shock absorbed from your rump. Once you caught your breath tears stung at your eyes as the pain was now radiating. "May I....please-sit Master Kylo?" He flicked his wrist once more pushing the chair out for you to take a seat. Now you really didn't want to sit, but you hoisted yourself up from the floor and sat down.

____

"You're very impolite. You know that? I would assume so as you also have not thanked me for the breakfast. I suppose I could applaud you only on your equal treatment of the General and myself. You treat a droid better."

____

Your face turned red from embarrassment as your eyes fell back onto the lid of the dish.

____

"You cursed in his presence...in front of his soldiers. What gives you the right?"

____

"It was the slip of the tongue, Master Kylo."

____

"I think I need not remind you that as royalty you know very well that a simple slip of the tongue could lead to war."

____

"I am sorry."

____

"Sorry won't be enough, and it never is. Let us train that tongue of yours shall we?" His hand reached over the top of the lid and removed it revealing a brown gelatinous bar. Inside looked to be small tufts of hair suspended within it. "Hm. I ordered eggs, toast, and sausage...must have been a slip of the tongue." He said pushing the plate toward you.

____

You were not unfamiliar with odd cuisine. Onrei had quite the dishes itself, but it was something about the smell....it was like burning hair. 

____

"What's wrong?" His hand rested on yours. You shivered feeling the warmth on the top of yours. There was a living being underneath that monstrous mask, and you were terrified of ever meeting it. "Is this not better food for the soldiers? Did you not demand better food?"

____

"I did not demand it." You seethed between your teeth while pulling your hand away.

____

"Suggest it?" He asked tilting his head.

____

"I only-"

____

"You have no right!" He boomed over you not allowing you to even finish while flipping the table. He sat across from you, the plate collided with the glass causing you to flinch harshly. Your mind was quick to believe it would shatter and both of you would surely be sucked outside into the freezing air. "You are my wife, and you attend to your duties of me and only me. Do you understand?" You did not answer. Your eyes said it all though as fire spit from them. Your anger was so immense that a tear managed to escape and your hands trembled. "You think I care for your anger? Do you not remember the Reek that almost took your beloved varactyl-"

____

"Do not speak of her!"

____

"Because your bond is breaking. I can feel it, and I take joy in it. Your pain is my pleasure, and it will serve you well to remember that."

____

Every minuscule action he performed made your mind jump to morbid thoughts. Like his whole being was only orchestrated for killing and given the way he carried himself you think he would be rather fond or taken with the idea at the very least. You couldn't remember when he did it but the table was upright once again the plate still shattered on the floor and the brown gelatin splattered against the glass. It trailed slowly leaving a sludge across it. You were standing while his fingers held your face tightly in place digging into your skin but not his thumb. His thumb rested on your lower lip, and if you knew any better you thought he was caressing it. You slapped his hand away and ducked below his arms trying to escape him only to find his hands yanking your hip backwards and then slamming your front against the table. He bent you downward with the force while with one of his large hands held both of yours behind your back. He leaned down growling in your ear. 

____

"Why can't I hear you?"

____

Your eyes perked up in satisfaction at hearing the real reason for his anger. He abhorred being blocked, and even though you could not see it in his eyes it was now so very apparent in all of his mannerisms towards you. 

____

"Hmm. Answer me you filthy savage!" He shook your wrists so ferociously you were sure you were going to hear a crack very soon.

____

"Savage?" _Why would he call me such a thing?_

____

"It will do you well to remember that you need ask permission before you do anything. I am not your parents and your insolence and childish behavior will not be tolerated."

____

"I am not a child."

____

"You run around like a little savage. Naked, barefoot, and dirty. For the Supreme Leader to think that I should take you as a wife....you're lucky I trust him to know what is right."

____

Tears pressed the more he did. "I would rather be a savage than a monster." Your teeth gritted together as you said it just before seeing black momentarily. You had never been hit so hard in your life at least not in this sort of setting. Only in the arena back home. You felt the skin beginning to raise, and the sting settling in when your vision returned.

____

"It is time you fulfilled one of your duties." He growled. He let off the pressure and allowed you to sit up. "Take off your rags." You did as he asked only just now coming to full consciousness from that strike. The robe dropped to the floor with ease while you leaned back over the table. You did not wish to look into that monstrosity. This would be bad enough as it was. His gloved hands smoothed over flesh of your ass before you heard his pants fall to the floor. Your body naturally attempted to get away, but he only gripped your hips tighter. "It will hurt worse if you struggle. I can assure you that." He said giving your breast a squeeze. "Sit still." He demanded.

____

He did nothing to help you. Not wet you. Not even try to stretch you a little first. Your mind went back to your lesson.

____

_____

____

_"Your first time will hurt. Stay in sync with him and ask for him to take it slow. Perhaps even use a little spit as your womanhood may not throb for him the first night. Fear will do that sometimes."_

____

_____

____

_Fear will do that sometimes_ was all you could think about while he pressed himself against your entrance. You were terribly dry. He attempted several times to press his member into you, but it would not give, and if it did it was only a little. You slowly raised your hand to your mouth. 

____

"I said sit still." He growled. 

____

You did not listen as you spit into your hand and reached back gently massaging it onto your warmth. You did this a couple of times and when you stilled your hands you whispered, "Now try." His fingers dug into your hips as he pressed in again. This time your lips gave way to him. You immediately regretted helping him as the pain seared through your womanhood. He was relentless as he bucked his hips wildly into you. Your hands clawed at the table and tears clung to your face until they fell off from the force of flinging backward and forward. Spit fell from your mouth from crying so hard, but even through the pain you moved against him. Knowing it would hurt worse to sit still. You cried out for him to stop once you could not take it anymore. 

____

His leather gloved hand flew over your mouth and yanked your head back a bit as he finally released inside of you. His hand returned to your hips and pressed down hard against them. You were sure they would break under his weight. He pulsed into you gently a few more times before removing himself entirely. His seed pooling out of you and onto the floor. Tears held onto the table like glass orbs. You watched as the smears on the window distorted the sky. You were thankful it made it ugly as the morning had been.

____

"Clean yourself up." He commanded after cleaning himself with a towel and tossing it to you. You nodded waiting for him to leave to spare you a moment to yourself, but he would not. He wanted to witness it. He may not be able to hear you, but he could still manipulate you. 

____

Your hands shook involuntarily while you sat up grabbing the towel. You turned your head away and cried as you placed it where he wanted it. Your warmth was already sore. You dragged it along your lips. He still waited, so you pulled it away and presented it to him. He was satisfied with what he saw. The red mixture staining the towel and parts of your hand brought him such delight.

____

"Surprised you have managed to keep your legs closed this long little savage."

____

_I could say the same for you._ You taunted him in your head. That wasn't normally something you would ever taunt someone about, but he didn't know what he was doing. Or perhaps he just didn't care. Your pain was his pleasure, so what did it matter if he went in dry or wet? He gave you a light slap across the face causing the stinging to return or at least to be noticed again and then forced you out flinging your robe in behind you.

____

You laid there on the elevator floor for a few moments before slipping the robes back over your shoulders.

____

When you finally managed to find your room you stared out of your window for what felt like an hour. A dusty orange was grazing the treeline when you grabbed a leaf from your plant and ate it.

____

_______

____

The dark walls enclosed around you while your fingers still clawed at them as if you would find an edge. Tears dangled threateningly from your eyelashes while blood streaked over lips from your nose. It had been less than three cycles since being raped, and what he had been doing as of late made the rape seem like a better circumstance.

____

The air had been heavier than what was on your planet. The droid. M7HA explained to you that it was because it was artificial, and that other ships you would be visiting would have artificial gravity. You contemplated on what that would feel like, and for some reason, given your current circumstances, you thought it would feel very much like carrying a rock at the bottom of an ocean. Not that your husband wasn't a heavy enough burden. 

____

You finally succumbed to the soft sheets of your quarters encircling them over your crippled form. He had been rough with you, but you knew he had to make a point. _You will hide nothing from me._ You wished for the days before where you were left alone to your cave. Now he came and tried extracting anything he could from your mind. You would not give though. Not even a word. 

____

He then would retire to his own quarters or business or what have you? You weren't really sure where he went, but you took fancy to his absence and welcomed the silence with open arms.

____

There would not be silence for you early this cycle though as a knock came to your door.

____

"Who is it?" You said it just loud enough to be heard already knowing it wasn't him because he would have never given you a courtesy of a knock. 

____

"M7HA. I am here with General Hux-"

____

"Hold on one moment." You forced yourself out of bed quickly doing anything possible to make yourself look....presentable. Unfortunately, you didn't have enough makeup in the world to cover the marks gracing your wrists, neck, and face, so you put on your robe and put on a necklace that would cover it the most and kept your hair down before opening the door. 

____

"General." You nodded as the he and the droid stepped in while a few other service droids pushed in boxes and bags. "What's all this?"

____

"These are your wedding gifts. I am sorry it took so long, but they needed to go to inspection. We need to take every precaution we can to make sure you are safe. Are you alright?" He asked finally having seen you.

____

"Yes, yes. I am just having a bit of trouble adjusting you know to the, uhm, artificial oxygen and such, and you remember me at my wedding...how clumsy I can be...and it's so dark in here-"

____

"You know you can raise the lights by-"

____

"No, no. Please. I am adjusting. I will get use to it." You pressed his hand away from the buttons on your wall. You were glad to know where they were now, but you absolutely did not want them raised at the moment.

____

"Alright." He tsked stepping closer to you. You flinched stepping away from him not wanting to accidentally insult him again or get yourself into trouble some other way. "You know you can come to me....if you need help."

____

"I am fine, General. You fawn over me too much. Thank you-for having them inspected."

____

"It's no problem at all." He mused while winding his arms behind his back. "I will see you again soon to help you get a little more acclimated until then _Lady Ren_."

____

_Lady what?_ Had you not been sore all over your hands would have taken the liberty of slapping him senseless.

____

You couldn't help it. It just came out. "Going to eat General?" You knew it was a stupid tease given the fact you were punished previously for addressing the General on the matter of food, but you could not resist. 

____

"I think I might skip lunch today." He nodded before a scowl contorted on his face. "M7HA see to it that all of the boxes and such are cleared after _Lady Ren_ is done." _There was that awful title again._

____

"I can clean up myself-"

____

I think you need some company given the circumstances even if it is that of a droid.

____

You sighed accepting the offer as the door huffed closed behind the General. 

____

M7HA did not waste any time as you sat drearily on the bed, and he placed a bag before your feet. You released your necklace from your neck and tossed it aside, so that it sprawled over the bed. You looked dully into the floor.

____

"I think you should open this one first Mrs."

____

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that-" You didn't mean to sound so mean, but you were in pain and didn't want to open gifts. M7HA would not give though.

____

"Please, open it." He pushed.

____

You cocked an eyebrow in suspicion before bending over and pulling the bag into your lap. Your fingers rustled around in the tissue paper before pulling out a digital card.

____

"Keep that in there....wouldn't want to lose it."

____

It flickered on as you kept it in the bag. In bright blue letters the words formed. 

____

**HE HAS LEFT ME HERE TO WATCH YOU.**

____

It took only for a second for it to resonate with you that M7HA was left to spy on you. You weren't sure by the Commander or the General, but neither would be optimal as to what they may or may not find. What they were looking for? You didn't know as you spent most of your days here well doing nothing. You jumped a little as the card sparked and went dark.

____

"You're right M7HA it is too precious of a gift." You smiled grandiosely to him while setting the bag down onto the floor.

____

Your demeanor changed to one more of joy as M7HA accompanied opening gifts with you. He even modeled a gown given to you by the Borealian tribes. You giggled happily as he sauntered around the room kicking boxes and bags out of the way. Tears pushed at the edges of your eyes as you could no longer control your laughter, and it turned into a full on whimper.

____

M7HA put a halt to his shenanigans and came to your aid.

____

"Princess everything will be alright....you have one last gift.....would it make you feel better if I cleaned this mess up?" You couldn't tell if it was a suggestion or not, but the way he kept pushing to clean your room. You knew he did not want to be present, at least within eye view, of the gift. 

____

"Yes, yes, yes please." You sniveled gripping his cold metal hand with adoration. "Could you start with my closet?" You knew full well that he would have to go deep inside of it.

____

"But of course. Perhaps I will find something else lovely to model for you."

____

You chuckled shaking your head as he gathered the clothes from the floor and went to arrange them appropriately. A very small box nestled among the refuse of the other gifts. Your fingertips gripped it firmly as it clicked open all on it's own. Little drips of water dribbled over the edges which gave your eyes notice of the long elegant scroll strokes on the side. _Kaminoans._ Your eyes widened. Onrei did not have dealings with them, so you weren't sure if they were friend or foe which made your hands shake as you lifted the lid some more.

____

Your eyes danced over the gift as words flitted over the inside lid of the box.

____

Keep this warm.

____

It was a black egg.

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What an ass...but you have an egg!


	4. Conversation Etiquette

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey babes! Just so I don't feel stuck I am starting another story as well if you would like to check it out. ;) (It will be up very soon.) Don't worry I will keep writing this one, but it's to help me to break and think without breaking....if that makes sense? Thank you once again for reading, bookmarking, kudos, and comments!!! <3 
> 
> XOXO

Phasma's fingers circled the rim of the glass still not having touched the contents that swirled within it. She was currently taking residence in the triumvirate's cantina awaiting the arrival of the General. It was so very rare that she was waiting on him, but here she was. 

"Sorry."

"Am I to take that as this hasn't been going to plan?"

"It has, it has. Just taking a bit more coaxing than one might expect-"

"I hear she berated you in front of your soldiers."

"Which provided better opportunity than I had hoped. I needed her afraid of me without being outright afraid. Balances of power."

"Well now she doesn't trust you."

"How quickly you underestimate me. Give it time. I have many more tasks to accomplish before we are there."

"And you have yet to tell me what happened in the stables-"

"Give me a breath Captain! I just arrived from her quarters not but a second ago. You are vital to the next few steps. Our Princess has a big heart you see, and I will need one of your most loyal of soldiers."

_____

It had been two weeks since you were gifted the egg, and for now it sat in your pocket while your fingers spun it about in nervousness desperately trying to keep it warm. You wished they had given you more instruction. You didn't know what lurked beneath the onyx shell, and it wasn't for lack of trying. You put it in front of many different lights to see what resided beneath, but in the end it was always much too dark.

You sat on your bed biting at your bottom lip wondering if you should ask M7HA for help. _That wouldn't be very smart._ You finally convinced yourself. You had to be very careful in the way you treated your new found friend especially since he was trying to help you hide away. "The less he knew, the better." You grumbled to yourself when your eyes rose to see the Quinberry cake resting on your table. Hux had come earlier that morning to give you new clothes and the cake.

Right next to it sat your temporary gown until more official ones could be made. It had already looked official to you. All black. High collar that rested just beneath your chin. Long sleeves, and a hem that brushed against the floor. It was form fitting on top, but once it sunk past your waist it flared out. You understood this was a necessary change, but it worried you how the public were to view you seen in this. _Brainwashed._ Was the only word that seemed to come to mind, but you supposed it looked well that your allegiances portrayed themselves as if you stood with them....which was what you were suppose to be doing.

But too much of this left a sour taste in your mouth. Too much of this was difficult to handle. You were lucky Master Kylo had not been lurking in the halls...or your mind for that matter since your egg had been gifted. The thought of the egg consumed your mind and dwelling too long for such a short amount of time could leave openings for him to peak through. You didn't know where he was or what he was doing, but you needed to resolve the issue quickly as you didn't know when he would be returning.

You mechanically moved your plant. Your schedule had become more rhythmic rather than disheveled. You stopped when you saw the cake sitting in it's spot. You mumbled to yourself once more pushing it aside. _Does he think me a child?_ You wondered while turning your back on the cake and looking out the window. You hated Quinberry cake. You had quite the sweet tooth but even Quinberry was much too saccharine for you as was the General's attitude toward you. You shook off your position as you realized your arms had been wound behind your back. You were standing like him in front of the window. Maybe that was why he stood that way as it was the best way to observe...or maybe he was just an uptight- _Wait a second._ You thought looking over the slush once again.

______

**Flashback.**

"Do you find your quarters well, Lady Ren?" That title dripped more and more from his mouth every time you saw him.

"Yes. It is very cold sometimes, but I am sure I will adjust."

"That is odd."

"Why is that?"

"You are actually closest to one of the warmest spots on base. You see the slush out there? You are near a generator....to be frank at times it over heats...it's an old part we are looking to replace. You were purposely placed here so you could adjust comfortably. We can't have weather as fair as Onrei."

"I understand."

"I can call for more blankets-"

"That won't be necessary, General. You have done enough."

______

Somewhere near the generator had to be an ideal spot to place the egg. It was better than you carrying it in your pocket for someone to find. You chewed at the corner of your mouth for a few moments before stepping over to your scanner. You pressed a few buttons and activated the camera outside your doorway. Nothing. No one was there, and the camera worked so long as you wanted it to which led you to deactivate the device before slinking out into the hall.

You walked casually letting your hand drift over the walls of what you thought housed the generator. It was a long time before you felt a warm spot. You traveled in a circle coming around again being sure to let your hand drift over the warmest panels. You did this several times before settling on one that wasn't warmest but certainly not the coolest. You didn't know if this would work. In fact, there was a huge risk of killing whatever was inside, but it wasn't safe with you. It was more likely to die with you than hidden in a wall...or so you hoped.

You took a few more glances in each direction before wrapping the tips of your fingers around the panel and jiggling it. It took a sturdy effort, but it finally broke free from the wall. You set it aside happily only for a frown to sweep across your face. There much smaller panels beneath that one. Your hand once more traced over the panels looking for one of a medium heat. They all seemed to be the same temperature, so you picked the one directly in the middle. Your eyes studied the snug space after taking off the panel. It was very dark in there. It only made you hope you would be able to catch it while it was hatching. Otherwise it would be lost.

You glanced around again making sure there were no eyes on you while you dug in your pocket and softly placed the egg within the confines of the compartment. You bit your bottom lip while your fingertips did their best to steady it. A thunderous noise caused you to rip your arm from the compartment. The egg tipped and fumbled somewhere down into the depths of the wall. You didn't have time to fret though as you felt a warm liquid trickling over your fingertips.

The blood gushed down over your hand down from the long slice down the length of your forearm. Your other hand fumbled grabbing at the tie of your robe to tie a tourniquet. It was too difficult, one handed, you realized as you sank to the floor in a panic. The blood pooled beneath you and became sticky to the touch. You felt a hand on your shoulder causing your eyes to bulge that there had been a witness. You were slightly relieved to see the black gleaming armor of the droid.

"Y/N!"

M7HA cried out seeing all of the blood before him looking onto the scene. It was innate in him to know you were up to no good as he swiftly went into action cleaning up the mess. He put the panels back on and was satisfied with the job until he noticed the blood dripping from underneath the largest one. He wiped at it meticulously before coming to your aid. All you could remember before the world went dark was him pressing a button on his chest and then flying backwards.

_____

You awoke queasily to the sounds of beeping and even more so at seeing the General sitting at your bedside. Except this wasn't your bedside, this room had been much too sterile and had there been more light in the room you would know that it was actually all white rather than the seamless grey that engulfed you. You sighed seeing the pitch black window. There weren't even stars over here.

"I am sorry to force you awake....the Supreme Leader wishes to see-" Hux's sentence was cut short by someone's arrival.

You didn't even have to sit up to know who it was as his aura permeated through out the room. Your arm throbbed a little as you clenched your hands close to yourself. Your eyes trembled shut before focusing on what you could.

"Your mother wishes to speak with you." The vocoder crackled.

You, of course, first wondered if this was a trick before sitting up in the bed. Finally facing your own personal demon. His large hand held out a datapad to you for you to take.

"This is a privilege. You understand? Something you don't deserve considering what you have done. Had she not been calling to chastise you for your childish antics I would not allow it."

You nodded in understanding before taking the datapad into your own hands and uttered out a pathetic, Thank you.

"Be quick we have things to do."

He raised his hand forcing the General out of his chair. He scoffed smoothing his hands over his uniform before walking out alongside the dark phantom and out the door.

The datapad buzzed furiously as soon as the doors shut behind them. You answered immediately.

"Y/N?" Your mother called out.

"I am here." You reassured her.

"What have you done?"

You wanted to tell her. Honestly, you did, but you couldn't. It would put her at risk just as much as it would put you. It was safer for everyone to think you tried taking your own life.

"Why are you calling?" You did what you could to play dumb. 

"You-"

"Are putting us at risk...did they tell you-"

"Do you have any idea what kind of danger you are in? You dumb girl!" You mother said in an angered manner. "You are a threat now. They are sending you to him."

"I am married to him what does it matter?"

"Not him....you will wish it were him. I have called to counsel you. Do not be so reckless. You have worried your father sick."

"Who is him?"

"The Supreme Leader. Commander Kylo Ren's Master." Your face could have fallen into your lap by that point." Yes, now do you see the depths of your danger? I urge you to speak with poise. Use your training. We did not educate you for you to doddle about. Let your words flow of the rivers and speak sweetly like ripened Casteronian fruit."

Your nostrils flared at the warning. She was speaking in code.

"Be well my daughter. You are cherished and missed." The datapad turned off and another message immediately sprung up demanding you get dressed. 

You thought of your mother's words. Ripened Casteronian fruit meant she knew through the inmate. The slash must have appeared on his arm as well. She did not say whether he survived or not which hopefully he did, but there was no way to be sure. You tugged off the hospital gown with a quick yank before pulling your dress over your head. You hissed feeling the grip of your sleeve against your forearm. There were no stitches, but there was a piece of black tape across it. You weren't sure how it was holding it together but it was.

Your mind then drifted to the first part. The part about the rivers. That was a teaching from Fero. That at times rather than a constant block you let them peak in, but you push the current and become the rocks that guide it. You needed to maneuver blocking information without seeming like you are blocking it. It had to be more natural. Or even making false information seem true. It is an extremely difficult task. Something you hadn't practiced in a long time. Something you could only hope you would be decent at when you saw this _Supreme Leader_.

The door huffed open only to reveal Master Kylo. _He must have scared off the General._ Which was something you could only be thankful for. One was always better than two.

"Supreme Leader would like to see us."

"Who is he?" You asked curiously, but you were met with no answer as his cape flew out the door. You assumed you must follow him, and that you did. His gait was long and confident, and you scurried to keep up with him. You did not want to get lost.

"Good morning, Princess." A squad of troops bellowed out in unison at your sight.

"Good morning." You sighed trying to catch up to your husband. You almost crashed into his backside as he paused and stared back at the white soldiers that greeted you. You weren't sure why they were even greeting you, but it wasn't something you particularly had time to worry about. 

You both stood silently in the elevator. The door opened several times to reveal more soldiers, but they would always say they would wait for another and greeted you cheerily. You heard Kylo's fists clench at this every time. It amused you how angry it made him. A small smirk played at your lips as he continued to face forward. "Are we in trouble?" You finally asked wanting to know what you should be prepared for while one of your finger's couldn't help but push against the seam that rested on your forearm. You were lucky that long sleeves would start to be a requirement from you.

The door hissed open and he replied flatly, "No, _we_ are not." The answer was not pleasant in the least bit.

You both entered a very large room with multiple large windows. The stars twinkled feverishly. A large chair sat on the back wall, yet there was no one in it. Kylo suddenly got to a knee and bowed his head, so you immediately dropped and did the same.

"Ahh, Master Kylo, you are looking well."

_How could he tell?_ You wondered as the raspy voice cooed over your husband.

"Princess. You may rise."

"Thank you, Supreme Leader." You said as your eyes met with a large glowing blue hologram. One of his decrepit fingers lifted your chin looking you over. His bright blue eyes felt like they were trying to burn a hole in your being, so you began your process of allowing him in where you wanted him. Kylo fidgeted next to you having felt your mind open, and as much as he would have loved to ravage it he kept his own force reserved.

"Very strong willed. A true Onrei, I see. I have heard some things. Some odd things indeed."

"May I ask what those might be, Supreme Leader?"

"Hmm. You spend your days in the company of a droid."

"I do, sir. He is very knowledgeable of the base, and it's history. I must understand where I am living to be able to live appropriately under it's roof."

"Mmm, and I hear you disagree with the food of the soldiers? Why were you eating what soldiers eat?"

"I was curious. Only to find it turn to disgust."

"You will not speak to him in such a manner-" Kylo bellowed out.

"Enough. Let her speak her truths then. Come Princess let us talk. The soldiers are fed what they are fed and are ever grateful for it."

"Are they?" You asked beginning to pace a bit. "I am beginning to understand the order of things around here; however, I do not agree...respectfully. In Onrei-"

"We are not in Onrei." Kylo spat hotly.

"I know dear it's just an example. May I finish or shall I leave for you to discuss my opinions for me?" You were met with silence. "I say that graciously as the decision is ultimately yours, Master Kylo." Still nothing.

Snoke let out a chuckle at the quarrel and allowed you to finish. "I know you think the Onrei are weak because...we are generally a happy people, but even we know that happiness comes at a cost. The soldiers are lowered into the darkest pits of Onrei and left there for days with only minimal water dripping down onto their heads. It's maddening. You can hear their screams at times from the plains. Slowly but surely pieces of fruit are dropped down into the holes as most would assume due to their fragrance, but really it has to do with rarity. You can only imagine the fighting from days of starvation. They make their choices in that hole though, and that is how we position our leaders. The ones that kill each other go into our death squads and the ones that don't, fall into leadership positions. Everyone has their place and their purpose. Now what brings them to that purpose is their suffering, but it is also that small sparkle of hope that the fruit gives them. That is what brings their loyalty. No matter the scenario. Now I know you have your promises and rhetoric, and yes perhaps the soldiers should be grateful for what you give, but at times there must be a appreciation for what they give. A little glimmer of hope to keep them holding on. Suffering must go hand in hand with something. Happiness will not destroy that suffering, but make it more felt which can invoke true natures. Leaders. Better fighters. "

Supreme Leader settled back into his chair seeming to take your words into consideration. He did not touch on the subject again though.

"And what of your varctyl?"

"She is in Onrei."

"I feel your pain. Your bond was strong."

"Yes...it was."

"You gave her up so easily?"

"It was not as easy as I may be portraying now....it is a necessary suffering though. She would not last here more than a week."

"And how have you survived?"

"Quite well, sir."

"And your garb has changed? I am informed that General Hux has done this for you."

"Yes."

"Why not you, Master Kylo?"

He was silent. You saw his chest, his pace of breathing was changing. "If I may, Supreme Leader?"

"You may."

"The base is so well run by the soldiers and droids that is orchestrated by General Hux and Captain Phasma that the General has more time for these silly details. My husband's dedication to the cause and to you could make a Reek blush. I myself find it enviable."

"Spoken like royalty." He smirked. "What is your gift little one? I am told each Onrei has one."

"I am not allowed to speak it as I would be struck down for doing so." You felt a whip at the back of your head. Your fingers rubbed the spot gently. "I am afraid I cannot reveal it to you that way either. I must insist you stop or the gift shall never reveal itself as I will be dead." Kylo stopped putting pressure onto your mind. You even put resistance against his own Master. "It shall reveal itself in time, and once it does I may speak of it with you then."

He was not satisfied with the answer, but he let it slide. "I also understand that you have learned the forms."

"I have learned of them yes, but only really practice one."

"Which is it?"

"Stealth and quickness."

"Ah, and why did you pick that one?"

You chuckled at the question, "I think it is glaringly obvious as my height would not allow me to study my husband's form of chaos."

"There have been Force users shorter than you to have studied Chaos."

"I am not a force user my liege. I am Onrei, and I must do what I can with what I have."

"That you must. Have you lied together?"

The question caught you off guard, but you still answered him curtly, "Yes, Supreme Leader."

"I am told you are in separate quarters." Now you fell silent. "I think it best for you to remain _close_ to your husband. As it is pertinent for you to bond with him."

"I understand."

"I trust you are finding your place here, and with further instruction and bond with Master Kylo you will _ground_ yourself. "

He ended the sentence in a peculiar fashion, but he was an odd looking man wasn't he? You knew the reference was to your "attempted suicide". And even still you would not correct him on the matter. Your lies must remain consistent in order for you to survive.

"Thank you, Supreme Leader. I am sure Master Kylo has much to teach me."

" Master Kylo, you and I will reconvene at another time. I have pressing matters to attend to, and you, your wife."

"Yes, Supreme Leader."

You bowed again before walking out gracefully alongside Kylo Ren.

You felt relieved to be out of that oppressive atmosphere. It literally felt like a weight was being lifted off your chest. The veil of your walls came plummeting down as soon as the hologram flickered away. Kylo Ren let out an angered garble having felt it swiftly.

"So you have much control over it."

You looked to him surprised he would speak of it so boldly out in the hallway, but when you took a closer look around...no one was on this floor.

"Does that surprise you, Master Kylo? Oh, I suppose it's because we _savages_ couldn't possibly have the strength or obedience to learn such things."

"Are you allies with Kaminoans?"

Your heart took a nose dive into the floor at the mention. The Onrei had no alliance with them...why would he ask of such a thing? The egg. He knows about the egg. You concentrated with great difficulty, but you knew something slipped through as his hand slightly twitched. He cocked his head to the side in confusion before you overtook him with words.

"Not that I am aware. Why?"

"It is nothing. People like you wouldn't have relations with such a fine race. Anyway I bid you not lie to my Master. You can hide, but do not lie." He growled from beneath his mask. 

"When did I lie?"

" Your form? _Quickness and stealth._" He practically scoffed.

"It is." You reassured him.

"It wouldn't take a mind reader to know that isn't true. You can hardly even dance."

"But I-"

He would not stick around to even let you finish.

There was no suspicion in it though as his mass of dark fabric swished and swayed behind him.

_____

_Panel._ It set his mind ablaze as soon as it slipped over your walls, but he had to stifle it. Even in front of his master. He _hated_ the way he listened to you intently. Allowing you to speak as if you mattered. It hurt him even more to think that Snoke may care for his wife....even the soldiers were acting oddly around you. Only he felt as if he were in the dark not yet enamored by your looks or charms. He felt all the smarter for it. He would catch you though. He told himself repeatedly. You were up to no good. A poison seeping into the body of the one and true Order. He would not be manipulated so easily....even if you were kind of funny and little pretty. 

He stopped outside your room easily gaining access at the flick of his wrist. He paced slowly looking over your belongings over and over. _Plant. Cake. Dresses. Boots. Trinkets._ He stopped at the plant and yanked off a sorry looking leaf before letting out a subtle sigh and tossing it aside. He even held his hands over some of the objects trying to feel something....anything really, but nothing. Nothing except the feather. He pulled it from the bedside table after removing his glove and felt once more. He could feel sunshine and smell the fields of Onrei. He was on the back of Sheindi opening his arms to the wind. Sheindi tumbled but with purpose as he came to a soft roll out onto the field with Sheindi playfully pushing her beak into his chest. He opened his eyes and let go of the memory it held. He rubbed the rigid piece with his thumb before deciding to tuck it away in his pocket. He wondered if he had Sheindi brought here if he could learn more of his estranged wife, but he soon decided against it knowing how much happiness it would bring you.

He did one more round around the room before stopping at your scanner. He held his hand over the object. He saw you. He saw you turning off the camera, so he knew immediately that the scene in which you were found held more promise than what your room ever could. He strode out into the hall and looked to the spot he had found you before flicking M7HA to the side. The bumbling droid would have you killed waiting for the medics to arrive. Then what would he say to Supreme Leader if you had died? He would be punished mercilessly and quickly rematched with another unsuspecting blood line. He did not want to repeat that...no, not again. Once was enough. 

He walked by the panels trying to feel over them. You had not left a trace of yourself, at least not memory wise, so naturally he looked at the one you laid before. It was the only thing that made sense. He had no idea how you would cut your arm otherwise. No items had been found on your person when registered into the medical wing. None were found at the scene, and what lied to the other side of you was an empty hallway. No. It could only be something on this side. His fingers curled around the panel when he was interrupted. 

" Commander Kylo." An out of breath Strom Trooper gripping their knees managed to wheeze out. 

"What is it?" Kylo turned furiously having been so concentrated he did not feel him come up.

The Trooper fell backwards raising their hands to cover their face as the phrase trembled out. " It's been located, Commander."

Kylo stopped immediately what he was doing and walked with a fury down the hall. You could wait.

_____

You couldn't remember your way back to his room from that other night. _Not that you wanted to._ You were sure to spend most of the day attempting to gather your things which was meager and far and few between, yet you managed to stretch it. That was until Hux was generous enough to send you a small army of droids by cycle fall to bring your things to the Commander's quarters. All of you crammed into the elevator as you repeated small Onrei proverbs beneath your breath trying to keep your cool. You weren't sure how to live among him with constant guard, but you would have to figure it out soon as the large black doors opened....back to the abyss. You took a heavy sigh of relief realizing he wasn't there. _Perhaps on another long trip?_ You could only pray that it would be long.

The droids were _terrified_ to say the least as some of their arms quaked. You could hear your plant's pot rattling in one of their hands. You were afraid, but he could cause you less damage than what he could do to them if he were to be lurking in there. "Thank you so much for your service. If you would just place your items down carefully and leave....I think that would be best for all of us." _Some of us. We can't all possibly make it out alive._

The droids did as you asked without question or murmur and left you to the dark. You walked to the panel and turned on some of the lights. It had been arranged a little differently since the last time you came. You weren't sure if he prepared for you, or if Supreme Leader sent someone in preparation, but there was a space for your things and a small door to a closet. It was just enough space for everything. You put everything away with ease before placing your hands on your hips and looking at your plant. It was not boding well at all, and it would be much worse off here with lack of any light making it's way through. Your hand scratched at your forearm a little forgetting the damage that had been done. You grimaced. _The egg._ You damned yourself for even allowing the thought to enter. _No more egg thoughts. It is done._ You were sure it was dead and gone having remembered a thud. You weren't positive if it was you or the egg, but you didn't want to get your hopes up. This was your reality now. In the dark cave with a beast. 

_____

Thankfully, it would be days before the Commander would make his return. Return he did. You were sitting on the couch reading your datapad when he entered his room, but it was not in his usual manner. His cape had rustled as usual, but it seemed more out of eagerness than confidence. His demeanor even looked out of sorts as he maneuvered his way through his living space. He paused briefly having spotted you on the couch and then disappeared into one of the doors you were not granted access to. He didn't speak a word. Not even let out a harsh garble which he was well acquainted with at seeing your presence which made you believe that perhaps your first day of breathing, somewhat, the same air as the Commander wouldn't be so bad.

It would be a few minutes before he would exit once again. It took him a moment to leave the space in front of the door, but when he did his usual stride kicked in like his senses had returned. "Did you have a good-successful trip?" You did your best to strike up a conversation.

He continued to ignore you pulling up a large screen over the dining room table. The blue information drifted through the air while you decided it best if you just turned back around and looked at your own datapad. The soldiers and officers always spoke of clearance, but you weren't exactly sure what level yours was regarded as. He probably wasn't allowed to discuss with you the inner workings of the Order....especially if he wasn't even comfortable enough to show you his face.....however, he was comfortable enough to shove his co-

"Your plant.....it is dying."

"Yes, it is. There isn't enough light in here."

There was that angered garble that you were use to. It was awhile before you would decide to speak, but as he shut down the screen he got up and tucked the plant under his arm. 

" What are you doing?" You asked alarmed by his sudden interest in it. 

"Taking it to the lab-"

"Why?"

"They can care for it there until the Star Killer runs closer to a light source. Do you want help or not?"

" Yes, it's just....will I have access to it?"

"You will so long as the lab is open. Besides this was illegally brought aboard. It needs to be inspected."

"Ok." You reluctantly agreed. 

"Don't give me that face. You obviously aren't doing a very good job taking care of it. You would make a terrible mother." It wouldn't be a real conversation with him though if he didn't end it in insult now would it? You finally discerned. Although it was much to your liking considering maybe he wouldn't want you to bear his children then. The insult turned to satisfaction as you watched his figure disappear behind the elevator doors, and then fear of course as he walked out with your only form of contraception. Then pure terror as you realized the lab could test your plant and figure out what it is. At the same moment you weren't sure if it would make him....that mad? He has shown over and over his lack of interest in you, so what would he care if you were ensuring that nothing, or rather someone, did not come about in your forceful concessions? He wouldn't. You finally decided you needed to go on a walk...you know just in case he did come back mad. 

Just as you were getting ready you received a message on your datapad. Your eyes rolled seeing his name dash across the screen. _What could he possibly want? I just saw him._ **You are needed in the officer cafe #1782 at 1400.** You moaned getting up and tugged at your gown. That was very soon, and you would be surprised if you could make it without sprinting down the halls.

You huffed and puffed as you leaned against the wall of the cafe. By the looks of it...it was closed. Your fingers hooked into the cage that covered the door and peaked inside. You shrieked as a hand settled on your waist before turning and seeing the Commander. A different kind of garble escaped his vocoder...this time you could swear it was a laugh. "Are you laughing at me?"

"No. Get inside." The cage quaked and rumbled under his force and slammed shut behind you as you both entered. He flicked on the lights and pulled out a seat at one of the tables for him to settle into. He nodded his head for you to take the seat across from him. Your eyes wandered as you timidly walked to your seat. _What was this place?_ "Don't worry about such nonsense. It's just the quietest and most accessible place I could gather you at the moment."

" You know we live together right?"

" Has my absence made you forget some of your manners already?"

" Perhaps....I don't think I can even remember your face...oh wait-"

" Enough! " He slammed his fist against the table startling you. " I do not have time to run back and forth from my quarters to work and back to dote on you." _Dote on me?_

" You will be given an escort at all times in my absence. "

" I thought that was the job of M7HA?"

" Due to the past circumstances we think it best that you be accompanied by a Death Trooper. " He said as he dipped his visor looking down to your arm.

" Death Trooper?"

" Yes, Death Trooper. The only ones with clearance to guard someone of your...pedigree." He might have choked on the word. He did not want to do this. 

" My pedigree?" You almost snorted. " Who is we? "

" The Supreme Leader. Besides you will be attending diplomatic dinners with Hux soon, and I can't expect that cowardly-....ehm."

" Weasel? Shrimp? Swamp slug? "

It warmed him so to know that you did not trust the ingrate yourself, but he did not like the thought of you winning any sort of his approval. " You will respect him as you respect me. If you can't respect the General of the cause, then you do not respect the cause. "

_Of course, I do not respect the cause._

" He will continue your studies of the First Order, and he will be your trainer for your _form_. I have discussed with him to reevaluate if possible and to reassign as needed-"

" I told you I am not lying-"

" We will see. When he is not available you will be assigned an alternate and so on and so forth. You will respect him as you respect me. Understood?"

_You mean fear him?_

" Yes, sir. "

His fist tensed at the two words. Your brows furrowed wondering if that was wrong. Who knew with him though? His emotions changed from moment to moment. 

" Will you not be there for the diplomatic dinners? "

" No, I have much to do, and have little to do with the _presentation_ of the First Order. You will go in my stead.....I am told Onrei is in good relations with the rest of the galaxy.....you better hope that is true."

" I will do my best not to fail you. "

" Good....because you have been utterly disappointing so far."

And there was the end of the conversation. 

_____

You read what you could about Death Troopers before Kylo got ehm- _home_ is what you guess you could call it. Though he never did return to sleep. You slept on the couch just in case he did decide to turn up. Letting the peculiar facts of the Death Trooper's carry you to sleep.

You were in a frenzy as you awoke awaiting to meet this Death Trooper. You wondered if he was dead or what augmentations that he decided to enhance himself with, but then decided against asking. You didn't think either of those questions were very polite to ask someone. What if his death had been traumatic? Your mind drifted off somewhere wondering what was the worst possible way to die in the First Order when there was a knock at your door. You adjusted your riding gown, all of your First Order gowns were being cleaned, before answering the door. You pressed your hand to the newly placed scanner and allowed him entry.

He was tall. Perhaps, as tall as the Commander himself, but his armor was much more formidable. Or you had just seen Kylo's helmet too many times, but you were pretty sure the Death Troopers armor was much more daunting. He did not greet you, nor did he say a word for the rest of the day....which was much to your disappointment. 

The grey hallways seemed to have lost their sterility after walking them so many times. Not that they ceased to be clean, but just simply that you have become more accustom to them. But today would be different. Not only because of your giant, silent, new friend, but because something dirty would reveal itself. 

A panel to be exact. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it wasn't dirty, but it will be!


	5. Whipping Girl

It was insulting while being simultaneously amusing. You found a ticklish sensation rolled about your insides at the depiction. You smirked while your hand reached for the picture. An image of Commander Kylo Ren taking, what you could only assume was you, from behind. They had drawn you as a hairy monkey.

Your eyes lingered on the panel. You tore them away with great difficulty. The Death Trooper wavered in looking at you, but eventually his visor met your eyes, and he scoffed at the matter. 

"The soldiers are imbeciles. I will have this cleaned immediately, and we will have the perpetrator-"

"But it's only been exhibited for such a short amount of time." You mused to him. He seemed more upset over the painting than you had been, and it put an unsettling feeling in your stomach. You wondered if he was related in this scenario, but you kept your suspicions back. He was assigned to you by Master Kylo, so he had to have the utmost respect for him. He wanted you as angry as he would be. "I wish to leave it for now. Find me the artist please-"

"I don't think that will be possible."

"Surely it can. I walk this hall everyday...my husband monitors me does he not?" You didn't have to look. There were definitely cameras in this colossal labyrinth. 

"If your husband is to see this or has seen it?"

"Well we both know he hasn't seen it." You edged closer touching the substance spread across the panel. A chalky, black medium smeared over your fingers. "Or else it would be completely destroyed already. " You peered at it just a little while longer. "Find out who made this and have them brought here. Please...shut down the access to this hallway. "

"As you wish." He seemed agitated by your choice; however, it was not his to make.

"It is quite alright, Death Trooper. As _past_ royalty... I understand what it is to accept the interest people have in our lives. We will never be-alone in a sense. I would be curious as well and probably frustrated. It is an act of frustration. "

He cocked his helmet before continuing. "This is unacceptable."

"Perhaps." You mused looking back to the image. "Please, just find me the artist. What a precious thing to have hmm? Someone who can write. It would be a shame if they couldn't anymore." It made you ill the way his demeanor change from worry to pure satisfaction at the mention of you torturing. Little did he know that isn't something you would do. How could you blame him? You hadn't known each other very long.

It took him a little less than half an hour to find the artist. You remained by the painting, so as to quickly divert your husband's energy should he pass.

"Remove their helmet." You said sternly as they were pushed forward by two other Storm Troopers. The helmet was yanked off while the woman fell to the floor on her knees. "I wish to be left alone with her."

"But Princess if she over takes you-"

"My dear, Death Trooper, no one would be so stupid as to do such a thing. Now please leave us."

He wound his arms tightly behind his back and stationed the two Storm Troopers further down the hall. Once they were settled you spoke. 

"Am I as hairy as you imagined?"

"No, Lady Ren."

"Don't call me that. I have done nothing to earn such a title. Come stand up."

You held out your hand for her, and she slowly rose.

"You are very gifted."

"Thank you..." She wasn't sure what you were playing at, yet she seemed frustrated as well. 

"I mean what I say. I am not as harsh as my husband...as you could imagine. You know you will have to be punished for this."

"I-know."

"I will try to make it as comfortable for you as I can."

"Prison, ma'am?" The confusion was quite noticeable across her features. That or her freckles made it seem more prominent.

"Yes, prison."

Her face was flooded with anguish, but you weren't sure that it was for the right reasons.

"And if I say no..."

"Then nothing. This will remain here, and you will fall to either the cruelty of my husband or the General. Whomever, sees it first."

"You say you are not as harsh as your husband?"

"I am not harsh. You have your option. Do you imagine that my husband would have struck such a deal if he had come about this painting first? I swear...you will not serve very long."

"No."

"Then?"

"I will serve my time under you Lady-I mean..."

"Y/N....but never in front of Commander Kylo. You two, take her to the prisons." Regret filled your eyes as she was taken away. It was unusual for you to punish anyone. This wasn't even a situation you would find yourself in Onrei, but you were not in Onrei. You were here...on Star Killer base. Something that destroyed peoples lives even when it wasn't in use. Everything had been taken from you here. Your egg. Your virginity. Sheindi had to be left behind. Even your clothes didn't look the same. Your hands held out your dress looking at your reflection in the floors when the Death Trooper drew closer again.

"Was she appalled to find you as she imagined?"

The chuckle came out affectionately feeling his mood lighten."No wonder Kylo keeps his helmet on in bed." A warmness lit over your face as you spoke it. That was too private of detail to be telling a trooper. "My apologies. I did not mean to be so-forward." _Have I become so desperate for affection?_ When your head hung heavy something caught your attention. Something small, round, and brown. "Is that poop?"

"Huh?"He hopped hurriedly out of a small pile he had been stepping in."Maker damn it."

_____

**Later that cycle.**

You were summoned by Hux to attend a meeting, and as much as you would have loved to decline it was labeled as mandatory. You moaned in misery but knew nothing would come of it as you shuffled closer to the double doors. The Death Trooper receded behind knowing his clearance did not cover this meeting. A screen materialized before you. A non-disclosure agreement. You were puzzled to read it, but it was nothing more than what was discussed there could not leave the sanctuary of those walls. Your hand scribbled across it reluctantly before entering.

You could have kicked yourself at feeling your own displeasure at not seeing Master Kylo there. But only because there was no protection against this weasel otherwise. Yet you could not confirm Kylo Ren's place in all of this as he did not seem to be part of the hierarchy, which could prove bad or good. It was still too foggy to decipher. 

It was General Hux, Phasma, and two others. Men, probably from other territories that they were having difficulty taking over. That or they were strategists. You couldn't tell everyone looked too similar at the table. 

"Lady Ren, this is Officer Relun and Officer Witza. Officer Relun is a war strategist like myself, and Officer Witza handles diplomatic strategies."

"It's a pleasure, Lady Ren. Your beauty lives up to the rumors."

"It far surpasses them."

"Tell me General is there a strategist for kissing a-"

"Oh, but none live up to the wit." The General interjected before you cursed. "Which is why we have brought you to this meeting. We need any intel that you are willing to share. "

You nodded, knowing damn well that that is not why you were there. You were offered a seat where you happily sat and given some tea. You spent most of your time wrapping your hands around the mug thinking over what each of them were saying when the door opened once again. You jumped at seeing him. Something about him was different today. Like he was tired. You weren't sure how you could tell, but you could. He took a seat in one fell swoop ignoring all the looks. 

"Continue General." He commanded.

Hux gave him the nastiest glare he could muster before continuing. " As I was saying, the Boleriean system can have the natural gases within their system taken. It will not be detrimental-"

"That's if they don't use it against you." You chuckled sipping on your tea. When your eyes wandered back up to their faces it looked as if they were offended that you spoke at all.

"Excuse me?" Relun asked surprised. "The fluroxean can't be mined without a Fluroxean barrel. The Bolerieans are decades behind all of us."

"Who said it was fluroxean?" You asked raising an eyebrow.

"Some of our top scientists-"

"Maybe in some qualities, but I don't think that is what it is." You backed down a little as the looks became more intense. 

"What is it then?"

"You need to rephrase your question Officer Relun. " You got a stride of confidence back in. "What is it when it is in the Boleriean's hands....which it is even when you invade. We tried invading them once, a long time ago, more lives lost there than all of our wars combined. They are the reason why Onrei take battles on it's own planet. For us what is locked in their mountains is toxic gases that can be used for various technologies and such, but for them.....when enchanted correctly, and correctly is how they do it, it becomes a line of death tearing through every enemy. Do you know how many Boleriean's lost in that war? Maybe a dozen. And only because they said the enchantment wrong. I am sure that same mistake won't be worth repeating to them, and I am sure seeing one of your threatening ships imposing itself over their planet won't be welcomed too fondly."

"You speak of magic?"

"Not sure what it is exactly."

"What an enchanting tale Lady Ren, but if you don't mind we have a war to plan-"

"You have sought me for my counsel, and that is what I am giving you. I will not sit at this table and remain a puppet because it helps your ego, officers. I am not ashamed to admit that my education of the galaxy is not as extensive as your own, but what I do know....I know very well." You said taking another sip of your tea before placing it down delicately onto the saucer. "It's better to strike their allies first. Get them to convince them to turn over. Maybe they will share then. I highly doubt it though. The gas is made up of their ancestors, but maybe you'll get their allegiance."

"Do you mock us?"

"Not at all, officers. It is peculiar that I am invited to this table and asked to speak, but then told to shut up. You find it difficult to believe and yet you sit at a table with a man that could fold you in half and throw you away at the trigger of a blaster, yet you can't believe that a gas could be enchanted to kill you.....at that point I would take the gas. At least it's quick."

The General now realized the true difficulty that you would be. He didn't know if he could trust you, and the only way he would know was through Kylo Ren who seemed indisposed at the moment in the way you spoke to the officers. Was he listening for her? The General couldn't help it this time resting his eyes on Kylo Ren, as miserable and ornery as he looked, he needed confirmation. Kylo gave a small nod in confirmation, and the meeting continued. He couldn't trust either of you, but he also couldn't afford to lose men like the way you described.

"And for another note, and I would assume you know this considering my own experience. I would suggest taking the allies that already have sovereigns. To try to take planets that have not been ruled in the way you are trying to rule them....they will bite. Take the ones that are used to being ruled. They bend much faster." You got up in a flurry pushing in your chair, but then realized you had one last thing to say. " And for a final note, we have a rat problem, and I hope you gentlemen can strategize your way through that one. Good cycle, Captain Phasma." You gave her a curt nod as it seemed she wasn't allowed to speak much either. You would perhaps pay for it later, but you could not sit through the nonsense anymore. They didn't want you there. They didn't need you there. They needed you at the dinners that you would be attending. That is what was made clear to you, but this...this was just a slap to the face. They invited you only in the spirit of ceremony. Also it scared you to see so many lives senselessly lost. All of this can be prevented. You just hope they will heed your warning.

When your thoughts turned to Kylo your fists clenched just as his would when he was angry. He only sat there and watched as they berated you. You defended him in front of his Master....you praised him even, and he would not even come to your aid against a man, he himself, hated. 

General Hux had seemed educated on Onrei history, but that war happened so long ago....Now you were feeling doubtful of being angry. Maybe you overreacted? It was too late to go back now though. You would not go back. You would stick with your decision. 

_____

A hushed tranquility filled your quarters. You had to bask in it before _he_ made his entrance. He would no doubt be unimpressed by the ordeal that had taken place only a few hours ago. You sat at the dining room table regretting you had ordered food at all. You had not felt well since the meeting, and you weren't sure if it was because of what you said, or because you left, or because you didn't go back. Your stomach rumbled loudly.

Your face was weary as he walked in and found a seat across from you at the dining room table. He stripped the gloves off his hands and tossed them to the nearby side table. You eyed them as you were fascinated by how large they were. You glanced down to your own hands while he ordered his food quickly. If you weren't so queasy you would have worried about the silence, but you're consumed at the moment. You had never seen his hands so clearly before.

"You look unwell? Something on your mind?"

"No." You mumbled almost causing you to gag. 

"Are you sure?" His hand rested on top of yours.

"Why are you so warm?"The nausea withdrew a little.

He scoffed at the question. "Earlier you speak of me as a magical being....do you think my body need not regulate my own temperature?"

"Are you going to eat?"

"What?"

"You ordered food...are you going to eat?"

"It's not for me."

"Who is it for?"

"We have a guest coming. I am sorry. I should have mentioned it, so you could look more presentable. Ah, here she is. Come have a seat."

Your face drained from seeing the soldier from earlier. She looked ok, but you knew soon she wouldn't be anymore.

"You two met earlier today, I believe? Come now we don't have all cycle." He purred through his helmet to the girl.

Her body twitched mercilessly while taking a seat diagonal from both of you. Wisps of hair covered her face. Your hands outstretched to her moving them back just as a few tear drops spilled onto the table from her long lashes. "Shh. You will be ok." You reassured her as you tried to prevent yourself from vomiting.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, darling. I am told you defaced First Order property."

She shivered as the accusation slithered out of his vocoder.

"She did not." You were quick to defend her. "What I mean to say is-" The nausea became more powerful than before. "She made a portrait of us. I, for one, found it....very flattering and well suited. However, I understand the First Order's keenness for cleanliness, so I ordered her to the prisons....She-oh maker." It hurt so bad to continue, but you did. " I thought we could use her to....write messages. They can't be intercepted by enemies....I thought her to be useful."

"So you are an artist? I hear it was erotic of nature. You must be talented to have never seen us-"

"You would be proud to see that she got my likeness right."

"Please do not interrupt me, darling." He gripped your hand giving it a very firm squeeze.

_Darling._

"Would you like to?"

" What?" She managed to croak out as her eyes filled with fear.

" For the sake of the arts right?"

"Commander, please-"

"What did I say about interrupting?" He slammed his hand against the table.

" I'm sorry, sir." You decided it best to apologize immediately.

" Say that again."

" I'm sorry, sir."

" Do you see that LN-3142? How she answers to me? She answers to _me_. Your sentencing is not up to her."

Her lips trembled as a whimper escaped her.

_Say yes sir. Please say something._ You begged in your head.

"Yes, sir." She finally squeezed it out.

"Once you are done here, your sentencing will be done with. I have given you mercy for the indiscretion. _Not her._"

What he was mad about finally came to light. You thought it childish, but you weren't sure how you would have felt in his same position? If you were a ruler, and your husband knew little of your culture or rules, and he put out a sentencing would you not be mad? _Probably not to this degree._ You weren't sure if it was about ego or politics, but with him it had to be a mixture of both.

A droid entered with a tray and placed it before the girl. You were confused yet relieved to not see yours as well.

"I had yours canceled. You look unwell."

You managed to croak out a thank you and sluggishly watched as the soldier ate.

He ordered tendermeat for her in a brown sauce and roasted vegetables. You could not tell what the meat was from. The closest thing you could guess was a rabbit. Or squall. She finished it quickly and was escorted out.

You placed your fingers against your temples still not able to kick away the nausea.

" I have to admit. It is an old dose, so that may be why it has taken so long to wear off."

"What?" You huffed in annoyance. "You drugged me?" The tea immediately flashed in your mind.""

"If you continue to not cooperate with me, then I will get my truth in other forms. The First Order, as you will come to know, has bountiful resources. It is not only my skills that makes it strong."

" You drugged me? With an old drug...that you didn't even-you could have killed me. You could still be killing me."

"I have the antidote here." He held the small vile between his thumb and forefinger.

"What is this?"

"It's an Imperial truth drug."

"You are so loathsome."

"Is that your new pet name for me? I warned you." He spoke sharply. 

" What was there to tell? Your little pet was there the whole time. I knew he would tell you, so what is the point of me going to you?"

" You ask me to trust you, but you never give me a reason to trust you. You get opportunity after opportunity, and you throw it away each and every time. " He swooped you up from the seat. You hadn't realized how worn-out you had become from the nausea until you held him weakly by his biceps. He turned you around tilting your head back and pressing the vile to your lips. The few droplets that resided in the bottle slipped over your tongue and down your throat. You made a sound of relief as a new mental energy had been restored in you, but still you remained against him as the physical had not kicked in yet. 

"Do you always blame every one else?" You grumbled hazily.

"What?"

"You have choices too. They can't always be right. You're lucky to have a wife to use as a whipping girl."

"Whipping girl? I have a child for a wife. As nice as it was to see some of those officers be sunk into their place...you had no right to throw such a tantrum." He quipped back at you. He let go of you and moved to the couch. He unlatched his cape and tossed it behind him.

"You're always calling me a child-"

"Then stop acting like one!"He grunted while taking off his boots.

"You first." You knew there would be a punishment as soon as you said it. That's why first had fallen so flatly to the floor.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. It was nothing."

"Come now. You want to be so brave, and so fearless repeat what you said."

"It doesn't matter what I said. It is insignificant just as I am to you."

"Throwing another tantrum so soon? Get over here. We are not finished."

"I am finished, Master Kylo. I am tired. I cannot-"

You were yanked viciously into his lap.

"Keep acting out, and I will pick a punishment fitting for that of a child."He growled the threat into your ear.

"Fuck you-"

Before you knew it you were spread out over his lap with your rump in the air and your dress over your head. _He is not about to-_ You whimpered as the first strike hit your rump. He hit you so hard you had to hold onto the floor and the edge of the couch for stability. A shiver rocked you as he struck again and a cool sting caressed your flesh. You kicked your legs while your nails scratched into the floor attempting to get away but his grip only curled around you harder.

He had spanked you three more times when something felt....different. Your lower stomach felt a rising pressure. Pressure, that wasn't a good word to describe. It was like something was burning inside of you. You had experienced this before back in Onrei, but never like this. The urge seemed insatiable as he hit you again. The stinging beginning to feel tantalizing. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip while your back, anticipated the next blow, arched into it, but this time instead of a whimper a low moan escaped you. Embarrassment flooded you, as you became aware of the noise that had slipped out, but it could not outweigh the want in the moment. Your brows furrowed, worried as the punishment had come to a stop. Your eyes shut briefly before a shade of pink entered your cheeks. 

That was until you felt something an actual growing pressure against your stomach that wasn't there before. You bit at the sides of your mouth just as your hand skimmed over the fabric of his pants. It felt like an eternity before you had the courage to touch his cock straining beneath his pants. A rattled breath was the only thing you heard. He did nothing to stop you, so you continued to stroke him over his pants. You could feel one or two prominent veins even through his pants and sometimes a slight twitch. His back sunk to deeper into the couch while he raised his arm and spanked you again. He approved even if it only felt like a tease.

But all fun things must come to an end especially when Hux comes around. You plummeted to the floor hissing as your bum touched the cold sea of gloss. He entered alongside a service droid which was the only way he would get immediate access to Kylo's quarters. He had looked taken back at the scene. You pulled at the hem of your dress making sure it covered you.

"Am I interrupting?"

"No....leave us. Leave us!" He commanded you as he leaned forward on the couch doing what he could to hide what was left of his erection.

You got to your feet quickly and went into the elevator. You couldn't face either of them as you left. You just focused on your trembling hands.

_____

**Two weeks later.**

Your Death Trooper had been missing for the day which suited you well. You wanted to be alone. Kylo was relentless in taking you every night. The same hour. Forced onto all fours. And an unquenchable anger. He had been embarrassed, and there was no way to take it out on Hux, so he took it out on you instead. He avoided you otherwise not even taking his rest there. That or he was terribly busy, but that was doubtful. He seemed in a better mood than usual which was decent enough it would relax him, but...you were hoping for more. You were use to affection. Maybe not sex, but hugs, kisses, gentle rubs, etc. It just wasn't in him to do things in such a way which pained you. The spanking had been something new. Something you never even expected to tolerate, but it worked for you both. Or so you thought. Besides his torso slapping into you every night his hands wouldn't go near there. Maybe it was something that wasn't normal? You were never taught about that in your lessons.

You abhorred yourself for sulking about it, but your mind would race every time you thought back to the moment when your warmth flickered with want. It had only happened once, and that was it for you. Meanwhile, he was getting off every night at this point. You were so fed up the other night, you pushed him away. That is why you were currently hiding a bruise underneath all of your makeup and wearing a coat to cover your wrists. The coat made you feel safe you had to admit. You knew a simple coat couldn't protect you from anyone here, but you gripped it around you like it was the only thing that could save you. 

You were visiting the lab to see your plant. You would only take leaves every three days. You were lucky that the lab was able to replenish your "specimen" as they called it, but you always wondered if they knew what it was. They had to have though. The First Order wouldn't be the efficient machine that it was if it didn't have a library or database of things throughout the galaxy. Even if they didn't though eventually they would ask you. No one seemed bothered that you would come in and pluck a few leaves. No one questioned you or looked at you.

The halls were placid today even though the Commander had a temper earlier that day on the bridge. The soldiers were in a demure state. Probably fearful of him coming around a corner. They no longer greeted you since the incident with the painter which was exactly what he wanted. _He always gets his way doesn't he?_

You were content with your thoughts of doom and gloom when the General waltzed out of a hallway. You tried changing directions, but he called out for you.

" Lady Ren."

"Yes?"

"Are you prepared?"

"And what is this that I must be involved in?" Your attitude could not adjust quick enough.

"I believe Supreme Leader had discussed with you at one point of attending dinners."

"Hm." You could not deny that. He certainly did speak of it with you. 

"You can get ready on the ship. Hurry we can't keep Helandu waiting."

"Hold on." You said bending down and speaking to a droid. It whizzed off quickly, and you nodded your head to them to lead the way.

The droid was there waiting for you at the ship. Your belongings graced the top of the droid's head. Your Death Trooper also managed to show himself.

"What is that?" The General said with disdain at the vibrant red dress you picked up.

"I will attend the dinner General, but I will attend as Onrei. If they believe me to be brainwashed....how will they ever trust any of you?" He huffed and continued up the ramp. You took that as a sign of approval.

"But red, Lady Ren? You will be a moving target-" The Death Trooper interjected.

"I have no fear of the Helanduans. Onrei have had good relations with them for thousand of years....why should today be any different?"

" You were not married to Commander Kylo then."

_Good riddance._

He looked on with contempt as you proceeded onto the ship with your belongings. You sat yourself on the floor while Captain Phasma, Hux, and a few Storm Troopers sat in their seats. You settled yourself with your small trunk and pulled out a few items as the ship took off. _I will not be afraid._ You told yourself as you drew the red dress over your head while unclasping the other. You shifted uncomfortably as you felt the General's eyes on you. Little did you know the Death Trooper saw your discomfort and nudged the General making his eyes avert from your visage. You pulled out the black dress from under you and tossed it aside. Your knees rested against the floor as you turned up the mirror and looked over your skin. Your makeup from before had started to fade, and you looked terribly battered from the hands of Kylo. You picked a cream from your belongings. It was pink in tone and you spread it over the bruises. Everyone looked on with amusement even Captain Phasma. You painted your face and wrists with a shade that perfectly matched your skin tone, and then continued with your usual lip stain and kohl. They were amazed at how well you managed to cover your bruises. 

_____

It was snowing in Helandu. You had never visited the planet. You only saw the King once in passing in Onrei many years ago. It was just as gorgeous as Onrei. The ship landed quietly at the end of a grand bridge. You rose as your Death Trooper got up assuming you should follow him, but he stopped you looking out the window. He could see your reflection in the glass. He looked over the long red gown and watched as the sweetheart neckline curved to your breasts nicely. It's sleeves were off the shoulder and hugged tightly to your arms. You smirked his way asking sarcastically, "Is dinner going to be served in here?"

"Perhaps, if you hadn't decided to wear red-" He was taken out of it by Phasma. 

"We should hurry before the bridge rises." She said matter of factly having studied somewhat about Helandu.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head readying yourself for the brace of the cold.

General Hux ordered the troopers around you as you made your way down the bridge. The Death Trooper and Phasma led the pack having done this a million times before. Hux resided by you which you found to be highly inappropriate given he was a General. A small man greeted you at the door while opening it for all of you to safely pass. Your body shook trying to push the cold off. The Helandu court was rather large which was something you could only faintly remember from pictures you had seen, but the sight of them quickly put it back in it's place. You changed your stride upon seeing the King and Queen. The court gazed on as you gathered your skirt and curtsied before them. The King smirked at your attire.

"A true Onrei braving the winter of Helandu. You are your mother's daughter." He beamed a toothy grin. The queen smiled as well seeing that you had not changed many of your ways.

You smiled as the King and Queen stood and kissed your hand. You chuckled and wrapped your arms around them.

"No formalities with me please."

The King and Queen beamed at your warmth. "But please do take them with the General, Captain, and troops. They have been raised more properly than us Onrei." You smirked back to them as the King and Queen bowed to them after receiving a bow from them first.

"I have not seen you since you were this high." The King chuckled showing a rather low point with his hand.

"I am afraid I disappoint you having not grown much since."

A hearty laugh bellowed from him along with the rest of the court. General Hux seemed to take over from that point on. He was quite fed up already. He wanted to get to the point of why they were there, but you knew this at least. With the Helandu, dinner was at least a three hour affair.

_____

They had given all of you a tour with the exception of what you wanted to see most. They were known for their studies in botany. Helandu was constantly making new species of plants, and you were ready to see new ones. Unfortunately, that would not be shown until after dinner as it was something they prized the most. General Hux could care less for it though while he sought other resources that the Helandu could provide. The court was left outside the dining hall as you entered. There were a few servants and guards setting up the lonesome yet grand table. They did not hear your entourages entrance along with the King and Queen.

"He married an Onrei." One guard said to the other.

"Not just an Onrei...The princess."

"He should find himself lucky. Those Onrei women." The man visibly shivered. "I remember the brothels when we visited, and I was surely thinking of switching over."

"They are taught from a young age aren't they? You think the Princess-"

You cleared your throat at the conversation. The men straightened up stiffly in their armor at seeing you. The Death Trooper had his blaster raised. You pressed your hand to the top of the barrel pushing it toward the floor. The King and Queen were highly embarrassed.

"My apologies, Princess. We do not condon-"

"It is quite alright, my Queen." You soothed her anxiousness. 

"I find that men who speak of their sexual endeavors really have had none at all....or find that they are lacking to even consider it an endeavor."

The King laughed at your sharp tongue. You smiled and took the King and Queen's arm as they escorted you to the table, and you sat to have dinner.

You sat between Hux and Phasma at dinner while the King and Queen sat right in front of you. Irritatingly enough, the Death Trooper, stood behind you breathing heavily through his vocoder.

"What is it like living on Star Killer base?" The Queen wiped at her mouth from the appetizer.

"It is lovely. I had never seen snow before." You refrained from speaking of anything logistical about it knowing it would upset your associates.

"Ah, I am sure you are sick of it by now." The king chuckled taking a sip of wine.

"Mmm. No, I still rather enjoy it." You mused. " It is fleeting when you touch it." They hadn't known today was actually your first day touching it. They didn't need to know you weren't allowed outside.

"Only for the sky to send you a million more. Not such a precious moment."

"For that one piece, yes." You smirked settling back into your chair.

"Ever the optimists, the Onrei." The queen said happily clasping her hands together. "I understand you have a varacytl."

"I did." You said with your eyes glazing over a bit.

"Oh, my. I am so sorry."She grasped your hand gently.

"Oh, no...I am just being silly, I'm afraid. I just haven't seen her in so long. Long for me at least...others would be ok."

"Could she not come?"

"Varactyls cannot survive the harsh terrain of where I currently live."It had become a hymn you could never forget.

The table was silent, but lucky for you, the main course arrived. You looked down in amusement as they served a fish stew from your home planet.

"You made Torenquintil?" You asked raising a brow to the King.

"It was my favorite dish back in Onrei." He mused happily dipping a spoon into it.

"That is an interesting selection." You said curiously putting your own spoon in the fish stew and stirred it up a bit. You looked as the spices swirled about.

"Why is that?" He asked taking a mouthful.

"Because-"

You watched as the color seemed to drain from his face and his blue veins throbbed underneath his skin. You quickly stepped over the table and attempted to open his mouth. The guards came to the King's aid almost beginning their attack. You saw the Death Trooper's blaster go up, but you screamed at them to stop.

"Stop. Stop. Please. Do you have the leaf of Gunti?"

"Yes, in the gardens-" The queen answered.

"Please, go get it! He will die if you don't go now! Bring several leaves." You screamed to the guards who were hesitant to leave their King who was just poisoned. They ran off quickly and returned seconds later with what you asked for. The Queen sat putting the King's head in her lap. You grabbed a spoon from the table trying your best to pry open his mouth. It would not budge, but eventually it gave with the help of the Death Trooper.

You slipped the leaf under his tongue and closed it shut. His shaking immediately stopped and his skin returned to it's normal color. He was alive, but he was asleep. The guards raised their weapons to you.

"This is a misunderstanding."

"Lower your weapons." The Death Trooper demanded angrily.

"You tried to poison our King." The guard said hotly.

"No, no, I- we didn't." You said standing holding a hand up across to both sides making sure no one did anything irrational. "It was the soup. It wasn't prepared properly. That's why I thought it was such an odd choice. The fish that is made to make that soup...if it isn't cut properly... that's what happens. He will be fine."

"If it was the soup then you take from yours then."

You were surprised that they basically asked you to poison yourself, but you didn't see any other way out of it. "Gladly." You said. Your hands shook from the nerves of what just happened. You reached for your bowl, and you felt something stopping you, but you persisted. You swirled a spoon around it and then took a sip from the lip of the bowl.

It took a moment, but it soon crashed to the floor as your skin had become pale and your veins pulsed. Your hand reached desperately for one of the leaves. The Death Trooper still sitting opened your jaw and shoved a leaf under your tongue. Everything went dark after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spank! Spank! I know at the moment it seems like I have forgotten some things, but trust me they are coming..just not in this chapter obviously. Thanks again and again for even giving me the time of day to read my stuff and sparing a few more moments to bookmark, kudos, and comment! I hope everyone has a nice weekend!
> 
> XOXO


	6. Pillow Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies! Here we are. To be honest with you...I am not in love with this chapter, and I think that is why it has taken me so long to post it. It is, however, a necessary evil to get to more fun things! :D Thank you for your patience. <3 It is much appreciated. 
> 
> And thanks to everyone leaving encouraging comments, asking me to write more, or just simply baring your soul. You have no idea how much it hits me in the heart when you take time to say even just a few words. 
> 
> XOXO

"Wake up." The voice rumbled through your head. "I know my words were harsh last when we saw each other, but please...let me see your eyes again. " The wind rustled over your ears. Small strands of your hair feathered over your face while you turned over, and the sun shone in your eyes. Your eyes fluttered open to see the flowers bobbing over you. You smiled feeling a warm hand on your shoulder. "Are you alright? It was like you were having a nightmare." His arms flexed around you, enclosing you to his chest.

"No, I don't think...I was."

"It sure seemed like it to me. You were thrashing about kicking me in your sleep again."

"Well you have said you have enjoyed getting your beatings in the arena."

"That I have." His grin was genuine while his hands encircled your face. "I've missed you."

"I was only sleeping."

"I can't always be there you know."

"I am not asking you to be you pervert." You joked with him. You furrowed your brow as his face became serious. "You know....this can never be-"

"Maybe if you didn't say it-it wouldn't hurt so much."

"You know I wasn't having a nightmare...you were seeing my future again. Weren't you?"

"I wish that is how it worked, but it doesn't, and it won't. What I see when you sleep are glimpses of your dreams. You're scared. I can feel it."

"You can fix them...can't you?"

"I could, maybe. I am not sure if you would be the same though."

"Then don't, please. Stay out of my mind. I don't want to hurt you."

"I can help you."

"What?"

"Let me help you." His voice was turning into an echo again. The flowers around you turned to ash. "Let me help you."

"Geran....wait. Geran."

You awoke to utter and complete darkness and your friend gone once again.

_____

You imbecile! You did not think to bring along a tester for the food! Snoke seethed at General Hux. You had been out for more than a week trying to recover from the poisoning. "Now the Onrei are breathing down the Order's neck. They want their princess! What am I to tell them?"

" Supreme Leader, please. The girl drank the soup by her own accord. The Helanduans were threatening to kill us all. If she hadn't-we'd all be dead-They are allies of us now. Strong allies." He sputtered trying to reassure him.

"What does that outcome matter if the Onrei join the Resistance instead? Don't you think the Helanduans will follow them if they are to turn? The Onrei know what happened. Who do you think spun the tale to them? Hmm? The Helanduans are loyal to the Onrei. " He shouted slamming his hand onto his armrest. This caused even Master Kylo to flinch. " You, you-.....she's awake. Master Kylo, see to her, and General, you, get out of my sight. Go to your strategists and clean up this fiasco. Ease her parents mind until we can find the appropriate time for her to speak. I expect to see reports of _good_ news soon."

"Yes, Supreme Leader." Both the men said in unison while bending a knee. He scoffed at the both of them before he dissipated into the air.

_____

Dreary. It was the only word that could pop into your mind while you watched the snow dance across the starlit sky. The stars taunted you once again as they twinkled in your anguish. You laid your head back against your pillow and closed your eyes momentarily. Maybe the brightness didn't speak to their happiness? It could just as easily been their anguish. You could've just been reading it wrong.

"Only some of the stars feel that way." You jumped hearing the familiar harshness of the vocoder. You held the sheet against you wondering how long he had been standing there."Not as long as you may think." You were too weak to block him at your full potential at the moment." Calm yourself." He stepped into what little light the room held and sat on your bedside.

The silence was treacherous, yet it felt necessary. However, if you didn't speak soon you thought that you would choke on your own tears. "What has become of the Helanduans?"

"That is all you have to ask?"

You pursed your lips and closed your eyes again.

" Do not worry of their fate. Worry of your own.....your family has asked to see you. "

Your stomach dropped to what felt like an eternity. "Why?" Your voice croaked out the question.

"You wake to so many questions."

"I'm sorry." You rolled onto your stomach and hugged your pillow. You had never felt such a bout of shame overtake you. A shame you knew you caused your family. They had to be disappointed in you. Supreme Leader had to be disappointed in you. All of them probably thought you were trying to kill yourself again even though the first attempt was not even an attempt. You weren't sure if this one had been one or not either. Your body pooled in confusion beneath the sheets. Perhaps you were trying to rid yourself of the burden, but that isn't something that would work. It's a strategy that couldn't possibly work for you. You were too bold. Too confident. Too naive...too childish. Tears edged out of your eyes and down into the fibers of the pillow.

Something warm was on your back, and the way it rubbed and curved to you, you finally concluded, it was his hand. He rubbed your back tenderly yet awkwardly. He wasn't sure of himself, that you knew, but you appreciated the sentiment anyway. It was a lot for him. "Supreme Leader demanded that he see you tonight....I will-....I will go in your stead. You will be seen tomorrow. You will eat. You will shower. You will sleep. Understood?"

"Yes,sir." Your voice shivered.

"I cannot protect you from what is to come in this next cycle." He removed his hand from your back. "Rest." He commanded once more before leaving.

He was angry with himself. He did not know what caused him such kindness. He could see into your mind a little which was relaxing for once, but he wasn't sure that was it either. He didn't want to see Supreme Leader again. Not in the mood he was in, but you weren't able to go. You were too weak to be in his presence, and he would feast off of it. He felt himself trying to ravage that weakness, but something stopped him. Seeing you so small lying in that bed. Something about it bothered him. It still wasn't a strong enough feeling though to stop him completely of his cruelties. He knew he had made it seem like the Supreme Leader and your parents were mad at you....truth be told neither of them were. They feared the politics of it all. Your place in all of this was extremely delicate and more intricate than he could have imagined which made you a strong player but easy to abuse. _She needs her skin toughened. She needed the roughness. You handled it fine._ He convinced himself as he took a breath at the doors again. _I can't always protect her. Just today. Today is the only day._

"Master Kylo? Where is your wife?"

_____

You sat at the dining room table eating Iktotch toast while a droid took your vitals. Seeing them made you wish you could see M7HA again. Your thoughts were incoherent, and that was the only one that made sense today. You needed a friend, and you knew not to expect anymore kindness out of the Commander. He was mad enough as it was that he had to see the Supreme Leader in your _illness._ You sipped on your tea awaiting for the next hour to strike. You thought of the dream with Geran, and it made your heart tighten as a realization struck. You had no time for it though as a knock reverberated over the door. 

You were surprised to be escorted by the Death Trooper. You had never even seen one on that floor.

"Commander Kylo is-indisposed at the moment. I will be attending your meeting-just for today."

You nodded in response not even looking him in the visor. You felt fragile, and it worried you how many people saw it. Fortunately, your path was not the usual one. You were taken through darker corridors. It was a security measure given the recent events you guessed. To keep the staff and soldiers from talking. _It would sound crazy wouldn't it? She drank poison. They would probably assume to get away from him...they would probably think me crazier if they knew it wasn't for that reason either._ You quietly followed him as your dress rustled from the space your body now divulged it given that you hadn't eaten very well in over a week.

You mourned for yourself as you made your way through those doors. Those Maker awful doors. Your reflection distorted as they smoothly placed themselves behind the wall. The Death Trooper had been right in saying he was permitted in this meeting. It left you somewhat dumbfounded. There was no time to squander your thoughts like that when the blue flickering started. Your walls veiling over what you would like to hide once more.

"Princess."

"Supreme Leader." You bowed deeply to him.

"You're looking much better."

"I feel much better. Perhaps it should become part of my routine once in awhile."

He smirked. It was a good sign that you were still making jokes.

" We are so fortunate for your strength...and courage although it walks a thin line of stupidity."

"I apologize, Supreme Leader. My logic-I know sometimes can be faulty. I did not see any other way out, yet now I know there were better options."

"Let us hope you find those options sooner in future dilemmas. We must keep your mind sharp, Princess. As sharp as that tongue of yours. You will be returning to your training. BN-5070 will ensure that you practice the forms. Exercise is just as important as education. Speaking of, M7HA, will be returning to educate you, so long as BN-5070 is around to chaperone you. I will not have any more accidents."

"Yes, Supreme Leader....may I ask you something?"

"Yes. You would like to know where the Helanduans stand?"

You nodded.

"They stand with us, so long as you are well. They wanted to apologize for the indiscretion."

"It was a mistake. It is made in restaurants in Onrei even-"

His brows knit together in confusion. "I suppose" he cleared his throat "you have not gotten the report yet?"

" Sir?"

" Princess, the poisoning was not an accident. It was a plot. They are dismayed to have not captured the culprit, but they believe to know who it was."

You awaited the answer, knotting your fingers together.

" Do you wish to know their name?"

"Yes." You spoke solemnly.

" Geran Yetul."

______

Your feet had plans of their own while the Death Trooper trailed after you. He cursed beneath his breath as your mind crashed with thought after thought. Soldiers scattered out of your way as your robe thrashed behind you. No one had ever seen you so enraged. Crisp, clear tears raced over your face as you grunted taking corners rapidly. _Is that why I dreamed of him?_ You questioned yourself just before tripping over a passing droid. Agitation spread through you faster than you could calm it causing you to be at the ready to lash out at the poor unsuspecting thing. Lucky for you the Death Trooper was there to stop you from doing anything you would regret. His hand consumed your wrist. 

" That is enough for today. We're going back to your quarters. I will not babysit you in this state."

" I am not a child." A tired phrase.

" That is not what I said." He turned pulling you behind him. You on occasion would tug backwards trying to free your hand, but he would not release his tense grip. His refusal only fueled your anger causing you to have an outburst in one of the corridors.

"Let me go! Please! You have to let me go."

" I am doing my job, and you are making it very difficult."

" You don't understand!" You cried out as he threw you over his shoulder. " Let go of me. You're hurting me-"

"Look." He plopped you down onto your rump. "I can't let you act like that out there. Do you understand? You can't do that. Do you want them to look at you like him? Do you want all of your work to go to waste?...."

Your eyes stared into the glass. You could hardly see your reflection, it was so faintly lit, but you knew you would be ashamed of what you saw. Your family would be ashamed of what you saw. This wasn't the way to handle it. You knew you looked just like him.

"I know this is hard-"

"No, you don't."

"Don't begin to assume. Come." He grabbed your hand once again and yanked you up from the floor. Your tears stopped as you no longer recognized some of the corridors. The lights had changed to a more greenish hue and then to red. It was a restricted area, but not just for you. For anyone. No one was suppose to be here because of the hazard it would pose on anyone's life. He brought you here anyway. He leaned in the doorway and nodded his head forward while releasing your hand."Scream all you want here, but you aren't doing it up there." His hand pointed to the bridge and then to the floors above.

Your feet trembled as you walked over the metal grates with winds puffing through some of the holes. You held down your dress while your other hand clenched the railing. You were terrified of heights, but this was needed to get everything out. You walked to it's center. Your hair whipped over your face while your robes rustled wildly with the lashes of the wind. Your grip never waning against the icy metal. You looked down below. Down the long tube that plunged into an abyss. There was nothing there, while when you looked up intricate mechanics glared down at you like a menacing heavens. You bit at your inner mouth. Old tears froze against your skin, your lips started to crack, and your fingers had become numb. A few screams escaped you as you let go of the bar and hit the bridge beneath you. Shouting at it. Waiting for it to crumble underneath you. The fresher tears slipped down through the holes and fell into the endless chamber. Your knuckles cracked, not from hitting the bridge so hard as the wind hardly allowed you to land your strikes, but from the cold that was now encompassing you. You glanced up when you felt the tremble of the bridge. The Death Trooper coming to collect you from freezing to death. You fought against him while he hauled you back over his shoulder. "You know you have had enough when you are close to freezing-"

"Put me down. I want to stay."

"If you stay any longer you will stay here forever."

"Good!" You shouted moving some of the hair out of your eyes. A little heat regained itself in you when you both reentered the corridor. You flung yourself backwards attempting to throw him off balance. He tossed you against the wall as if he anticipated the move. Like he had done this a million times before. 

"You had your time. Now stop. It is done with-"

"You don't understand. He was my best friend. My best friend! He's trying to kill me. He has betrayed me-you couldn't understand what it is to have your best friend try to murder you."

"You think I don't understand such a notion? How little you think of others to not know such a feeling of betrayal. My life has been dedicated to war. My _whole_ life. You have been lucky to have been afforded a life with such a friendship. Whether you like it or not Princess you are in this war now. People are going to betray you. Hurt you. Hate you. You don't have to give them a reason to do any of it. _But don't give them a reason._"

His arms were rigid on either side of your head. You looked up at him earnestly and nodded your head before your eyes cast to the ground. You knew he was going to continue to fuss at you, but his hands simply dragged against the wall and back to his side.

"Let's go." He commanded looking at his comm in his forearm. "I need to investigate a matter."

"I don't want to go."

"It wasn't a request."

"What do you have to investigate?"

"Knowing the First Order....nothing fun."

_____

You laid against the bed pulling at a stray string on your dress and twirled it around your finger. It had been hours since the Death Trooper left you there to your own devices. There wasn't anything to really accomplish today except working through your feelings about Geran and trying to find the next step in the matter. You were terrified to sleep now. Your realization was safe now in the confines of your quarters. It wasn't just that you dreamed of him....it was that he was close. His gift was to enter others dreams. He needed to be at a certain proximity to obtain this, so you knew....he had to be among the masses here. Waiting. It dawned on you to tell someone, but it troubled you who to tell.

Master Kylo, even if he did believe you, would use Geran against you, or to find out more about you. BN-5070 is suppose to protect you, but what if he just ran to Kylo Ren? You couldn't have that. General Hux, you were sure you would just land yourself in a similar predicament. Supreme Leader? He might do something about it, but you didn't want to put yourself at even more of a politic disadvantage. If he did you a favor then you would most certainly owe him one in return, and his might prove more detrimental than as opposed to....Phasma. Captain Phasma. She seemed neutral between the two of them. At least she always stopped them from bickering. That still wasn't enough to coax you into thinking it was safe to tell her.

You turned on your side as the door opened. A punishment had to be in store for you. BN-5070 would have told his Master of the indiscretions. Your brow furrowed as you listened closely. His steps...they seemed off like he was limping. You sat up and turned to see him, but he had already gotten back on the elevator and left. No quips? No yelling? No punishment. _Maybe he didn't tell him. Or...he was too busy with other matters to care at the moment. Why was he limping though?_ You would love to meet the object or being that took on that masked warrior. You chuckled, hoping he had only stubbed his toe. An inanimate object sending Master Kylo into a spout of pain, yet just as you thought of it you wished it away. Pain made him angry, and if he was in pain someone else would have to be too. You only hoped he didn't hurt anyone.

Sleep came for you deep in the cycle. You either faced him here, or you faced him there. At least he couldn't kill you there, but he could keep you there long enough. Just long enough to kill you here.

You woke up in a field again, but this time it was just on the outskirts of Aglacia. A town just outside of the kingdom. Nature was a very important aspect in Onrei life. It was intertwined very well within the dwellings of the city, but it was nice even then to escape to Aglacia just to be a little closer. Geran lived out here with his mother and father. His father passed at an early age. It had been a terrible accident. Nonetheless, Geran was mature enough to take on the situation with dignity. You stayed in the grass letting it pass through your fingertips as you waited for him. You weren't going to fight him. You just needed to talk to him. To let him see. To know you weren't trying to hurt him. You never wanted to hurt him. You sighed after waiting for about twenty minutes. You got up dusting off your dress and trekked over to his house.

It was just as you remembered it. Bright yellow with red vines infusing themselves against the walls. Your finger traced over the leaves while your eyes closed concentrating if this was different. Reality had to feel different from a dream.

"You would be surprised how interlaced those are." His voice was steady, calm. Like always.

You turned to see him dressed in his usual garb. Brown and red robes and black boots. His fingers loosely gripped each other as he walked closer to you. 

"Don't get any closer to me." You threatened.

"You misunderstand my intent, Y/N."

"I have misunderstood nothing. Stay back."

"Your parents have tasked me with keeping watch over you."

"You're a liar."

"Have they already gotten to you my fair, Y/N? Has your will wilted so drastically while in their care-" One of his fingers brushed your hair just before you slapped his hand away.

"They would have told me."

"They are telling you now. Through me."

"Where are you?"

" Come sit with me. Like you use to. " He patted the stone bench before closing his robes a little more snug around his body."I cannot tell you. Should he read your mind he would exterminate me immediately. Is that something you wish?"

"No." You spoke taking a seat next to him.

" That is good to know. I poisoned the food. That much is true. I figured if everyone drank it I could at least save you...and the galaxy from this whole mess. I would have revived you, but I had other plans should that not go to the result I would have liked best. I needed you to sleep long enough for me to get in contact with you again. I needed the chaos that would ensure my passage on the ship. Chaos makes the mind a hive. Too hard to catch smaller details such as a stowaway. "

You weren't sure if you believed him or not.

"Have you made any friends? Friends that you would take their word over mine?"

"Do not make this a scene of a them vs. us. We are no longer. You made that very clear on my last day here."

"The picture is so much bigger than both of us now."

You didn't seem to think that way when I left.

"Grief is a fickle, torturous thing. As I am sure you have been learning over the last few weeks....would you like to see her?"

You stared at your hands as they rested in your lap. "It wouldn't be real." You whispered.

"Some of the best things aren't."

"Are you?"

He smirked moving in closely his lips hovering over your own. "Only as real as you have ever wanted me to be." His eyes glittered as they looked down at your lips. His hand making it's way back through your hair. "We could be happy together....just show me how to get to him. I can kill him, Y/N. This could all be over in an instant. Just give me the opportunity to serve you, my Queen."

" Don't call me that." You turned your head away. None of this felt right. It only felt familiar, and that was dangerous in itself.

"Do you want to be reminded of what real love is, Y/N? I know he has not satisfied you. I can see it here even in your dreams. I can do all of this for you. Let you be rid of him. Bring you back home. Lie with you..." His hand pressed against your warmth over your dress. His other pulling the back of your neck to bring you in closer. You turned your face away as he scattered kisses all over your neck. His hand rubbed you softly. "Let me serve you. Please." He whispered and begged into your neck.

You shivered. "Stop. Please. Just stop." Your breath picked up it's pace.

"Help me find him. Bring him here."

"Geran. Stop." His hand only held the back of your neck harder while the other fumbled with the fabric of your dress hiking it over your legs."Stop. I don't want to hurt you."

He paused looking you in the eye. "You already have."

You awoke to an intense throbbing between your legs. Your quarters were dark and empty. You pressed the button on your datapad and checked the time before lying back down taking long deep breaths. _It's not real. He wasn't real and his intentions are cruel._ You had to keep reminding yourself this. If your parents had wanted it his way, they would have found a way to tell you. _Wouldn't they? It could be over though if Geran-stop._ You reprimanded yourself. _Grief is a fickle, torturous thing....he's trying to torture you. He is no better than Kylo._

You got out of bed and showered. When you came out some clothes had been laid out on the bed for you. A small digital note laid on top of it. _For training._ You had almost forgotten.

_____

You were ecstatic to find M7HA waiting for you in the hallway.

"Hello, Y/N." Your arms wrapped around him at the sight of him. "You're going to be late for your training."

"He can wait....how have you been?"

"I have been better, but I cannot complain since I am allowed in your presence once again. They are allowing me to escort so long as he is with us or it is to him."

"Don't speak to me in such a way M7HA. You are so very dear to me. That is fortunate for us." You linked arms with him just as you use to. As you walked you thought of telling him about Geran. M7HA had to know some of the circumstances which gave you a wary feeling. They didn't want a traitor in their hands, but the web was getting complicated. Even your friend was being cocooned off from you.

"You're quiet, Y/N."

"I'm sorry. I have a lot on my mind."

"Has the past come to revisit? A thing of nightmares isn't it?"

You raised an eyebrow at the commentary before he shoved something into your hands.

"Have you ever considered some warm milk? It should keep those pesky nightmares away."

"I will-I will look into it." You said as you shoved the small bag into your pocket curious of the contents.

The walk had been shorter than you liked, but you were grateful for even the limited amount of time you were given with him. "Will you be here when I get out?"

"Unfortunately, no. He will be escorting you back."

"Oh."

" We will continue our lessons soon, but you have a very tight schedule for the next few days."

"Wait why?"

"I have already said too much. Go on. You will be late." He nudged you forward before taking his leave.

You bit at your bottom lip when you realized your jaw had went slack when you entered the gym. His heavy breathing still bounced off the gym's high ceilings while you stared. He had not noticed you were there, but that only gave you a few more moments to take him in. He wore black trainers and black gloves as he took on a combat droid. Some of his dark locks clung to his face from the sweat. His muscles rippled beneath his skin as he moved evading the droids strikes. Scars marked his skin along with a constellation of moles and freckles. His plump lips pursed as he dunked beneath the droids arm before successfully detaching it. His height was looming and his combat foreboding, but that didn't seem to matter when you got a glimpse of his honey colored eyes. You took a deep breath before dunking out of the way of a leg flying towards you.

"You going to fight or just stand there all day?"

"I'm here for training."

"I know. I am your Death Trooper. BN-5070."

_Of course._

"Well don't just stand there. Get into stance."

"I'm not fighting a droid."

" Why?"He wiped at his face just as the droid flopped to the ground. He nodded walking over to his bag and taking a sip of water.

"My best friend is a droid."

"Would you rather fight me then?"

"In Onrei you trained with your instructor."

"I hear Onrei is too far behind for droids. You will fight the droid as requested by Commander Kylo."

"I already told you I'm not-"

"Does it help to know that they get recycled? It'll be good as new tomorrow." He waved his head toward the dismembered torso.

"And then what happens?"

"You ask so many questions."

You were put off by his boldness, but only for a moment. "I suppose that bothers everyone in the First Order. That's the problem with an organization that is never questioned."

"You speak boldly for a mouse in a strange place."

"And you without restraint."

"What are you going to do about it? Hmm. You going to go ride Commander Kylo's robe tails and cry?"

"I don't need him to fight my battles."

"Prove it then."

"I'm not afraid of you."

"You're kind of cute when you are angry-"He maneuvered his way out of range from your strike. He gripped your hand tightly in his own. "Remember that I am evaluating your form. You must do better than that if you want to remain in stealth and quickness. Commander told me you aren't able to even dance, yet your people say you can fight."

"You and the Commander sure seem to have a lot of pillow talk."

"You mustn't be very good in bed then if he won't take off his helmet and comes to me for pillow talk."

Your face flushed red. "Is that a trick question because you want to know?"

It was his turn for his face to flush red when you took the opportunity to kick him in the groin. He keeled forward just before you elbowed him in the jaw knocking him onto the ground. You pressed your knee into his throat trying your best to swat his hands away, but his reach was much too close. He punched you in the ear causing your ear to ring.

"You are a scrappy little thing."He huffed sitting up watching as you writhed with pain. He came a little closer as he wondered if he had hit you just a little too hard. You threw your foot into his nose causing a spurt of blood to break over your boot. He was quick though grabbing your ankle and putting it in a precarious position. You rolled out of it before his hand blocked you twisting your arm up into the air and putting his foot on your back. You tried lifting yourself from the ground, but he had a death grip on your arm. The threat of him breaking it was real.

"My fault for going soft on you. I won't make the same mistake twice. Our enemies never will....what no witty comeback?"

Your hand went to tap the floor, but before it could a sudden darkness came over your eyes. _Give him to me._

BN-5070 let go of you feeling you go limp and pulled you into his arms. "Y/N?...Y/N?" He smoothed back your hair that was sticking from sweat to your forehead. Your eyes were rolled back into your head. He was just about to call medical when you came out of it. "Are you alright?"

"What did you do you to me?"

"Nothing...well nothing that would've made you pass out."

"I passed out?" You sat up in his lap, and then you realized you were in his lap. You bounded out of it quickly and sat across from him on the floor, smoothing back your hair.

"Sort of. Your eyes rolled back into your head, but your body didn't quite go completely limp....Did you eat this morning?"

"No, I-"

He spoke under his breath as he went over to his bag once again and pulled something out. "Bring your own next time those are hard to come by right now." He tossed a bar to you and sat across from you while opening his.

"Why? Have we run out of money?" You studied the all grey packaging. There was no information on it.

"It's a protein bar. Weird texture, but it will get you through the day. We haven't run out of money. Some poor buckethead keeps breaking into the mess hall and eating them."He wiped some of the blood from his nose as he spoke.

Your eyebrows raised as you opened the bar. It looked plain, and you were certain it contained very little flavor.

"I didn't say it was a feast."

"Why would they steal these?" You asked before taking a small bite.

"Food is rationed depending on your body index. Portions are controlled to keep soldiers fit and make sure no food is wasted."

_Food._ You chuckled in your mind.

"Some of the soldiers can't handle it. Want more. Break ins like this happen all the time."

"Hmm? Is this what you were investigating the other day?"

"Yea."

"If this happens all the time....what makes this one different?"

" Well for starters they usually take a few and leave. We've got a dozen empty cases, and it was like they sat down and ate them there."

"So there is a group of them?"

"There would have to be. You can't eat a dozen cases of this stuff."

"You said it has protein in it?"

" Mmhmm."

"How are they getting in and out?"

"There was no damage done to the doors, so we are thinking they are using the ventilation system....I can't get into that any further with you for security reasons."

You wanted to laugh, but you stifled it. You couldn't imagine yourself trying to escape through the vents. You got lost in the hallways. There was no way that you would be able to navigate the vents.

"Don't get any ideas. The Commander will kill me."

"He's going to kill you anyway." You jokingly shrugged. " At some point."

"Nah."

"Why not?"

"I'm his pillow talk buddy remember?"


	7. Vent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone is finally making a very small appearance. ;)

You grumbled awake in med bay. _I have to stop waking up like this._ You hissed feeling a stinging sensation in your head. You pulled the pillow over onto it, roughing up your hair, as a memory gauged through your mind. The embarrassment yanked at your heart mercilessly. His hands were holding your blood as it shot from your nose like you had been struck by an invisible force. He caught you by the front of your tank top and pulled you into him, and then after that it was just darkness. You had bled all over BN-5070. He probably didn't care. It probably happened all the time. _He's a soldier, remember? It's silly._

"Supreme Leader isn't going to like this." You turned to see the weasel himself studying some scans of your head. His fingers flitted over the screen scrutinizing over the imagery.

"We don't have to tell him." You mumbled touching your head.

"It's unfortunate that the doctors reacted so quickly....I would have liked to see what would happen." Your heart rate quickened at the comment.

"I must applaud the First Order, and it's punctuality of nursing me to health. I am thankful Commander Kylo keeps a close eye on me."

"That he does....how was your training? I can't imagine it went so well if that Death Trooper had to haul you to med bay."

"You should see him." You chuckled knowing it would annoy him in smallest of ways.

"We have another dinner to attend." He said sitting on the lower half of your bedside. "Commander Kylo has requested that he come along for this one."

"Requested?"

"Yes. This must be approved by Supreme Leader."

"And what did he say?"

"He said....it was up to you."

If you thought your heart was beating hard before now it seemed wild in comparison. "Me?"

"Yes."

"Does he have time?"

Hux was put off by the question. "He may. I am not sure. I do not always get to see his itinerary."

"What planet is it?"

"It's Follicinea."

"Oh." You sighed. They teetered a peculiar line. They had never encountered the Onrei, but you weren't sure if they were even more leery of the First Order. Most of the planets were. You had been wondering when the dinners would become more... _tense_. You just didn't expect one so soon after being put in medical.

"Yes, quite. You could see the hazard he might impose."

You wanted to ask about the Death Trooper, but just the thought of it made your cheeks flush with a tinge of pink. 

"Perhaps, with you there, he might be a little more relaxed than he usually is."

You looked at him perplexed. Since when had Master Kylo ever been more relaxed around you?

"Just a thought."

_A kriffing terrible one._

"Master Kylo doesn't trust Phasma enough to protect me?"

"Phasma won't be able to make it to this one. It's much too long." Hux was intrigued by the mention of Phasma.

"And that of the Death Trooper?" You finally mustered the courage to ask.

"He is being evaluated at the moment. It will take three days time...if he is to be returned to you."

"Well how soon are we leaving?" _If? Oh no. I got him in trouble._

"Tomorrow."

_Of course we are._

" Well if he wishes to come because he believes this planet to be more _hostile_ then...I wish him to come."

"Brilliant."

_I am just as excited as you are you copper headed-_

"Y/N!" M7HA bustled through the door throwing his arms around you. "Are you alright? I should have never left you with that brute."

"I'm ok. Thanks to the First Order medical team."

Hux's face contorted into his signature scowl. He was getting nowhere with you.

_____

M7HA spent the rest of the cycle at your side. A doctor would come in every few hours to check on you. The reports still came up inconclusive, but you didn't need those. You knew what caused it. You were lucky. Very lucky. That you were watched so thoroughly. If it had been put off....Hux would have more affirmations and suspicions than you were willing to put up with. You felt sorry for that prisoner but only a little.

You showered in the med bay before leaving for the hangar. M7HA had to attend to his duties, so you were sent someone else to escort you to the hangar.

You were sitting on the window sill thinking of how Geran had entered your mind that way. You weren't asleep. No where near it, so how did he get in? It was not an average gift of the Onrei. In fact, you had never met anyone with that gift. Anyone on Onrei could only ever block the mind...not invade the mind. You weren't aware of that history either. How? And why were you taught such a skill? Not just you specifically, but some of the other Onrei were taught as well. _Maybe Kylo is right? Maybe we do have an alliance with the Kaminoans that I am unaware of?_ The thought led to the egg when...

You jumped as your door rumbled from the knocking. You were even more surprised when you opened the door to....well something similar to Kylo Ren. You tried closing the doors, but they held out their hand forcing it open. Your eyes bulged looking them over. They were like him. Force sensitive. You felt a whip at the back of your mind. You cleared your throat as you rubbed the back of your head. "If you don't mind....I don't like that." They stopped but only momentarily. Your whole walk there they attempted several more times to read your thoughts. You were starting to get a headache.

You were greeted by Hux who was quickly cut off by the Commander.

"What are you doing?" You raised your eyebrows at the question.

"I was just-"

" I told you to bring her, and what have you done?"

"Sir, I-" They were stifled swiftly as their hands reached for their neck.

"Do anything other than what I ask, and I will break you. Understood?"

They must have answered in their mind because they were eventually released. Their vocoder garbled as they took a deep breath for air.

He clenched and released his fists before sauntering over to a group of Storm Troopers. They scuttled away as he neared. He even frightened Hux who hurried himself as well. That was until Hux slipped stepping on something. He grumbled from the floor and lifted his boot to see poop. You tried your best to hold back a snort, but it was somewhat audible as some of the soldiers near by let out a few chuckles themselves. 

"I told you. We have a rat problem."

"I got it." He ripped his arm away from you as soon as he was standing. He smoothed back his hair before adjusting his coat."I will get the extermination team out this week. What are you all standing around for? Get to work."

_Him and Kylo are a lot more similar than they think._

While both of them were distracted you looked to Phasma. She was exchanging a few words with a Storm Trooper when you came up to her.

"Captain, I am sorry to bother you, but I wanted to have your ear for a moment...if you have time?"

"Of course, Lady Ren. QR-9081....do not disappoint me."

He saluted her before marching off towards Hux.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, it's just...it seems that I have a bit of a rat problem myself."

She cocked her head to the side in confusion.

"Not a literal one-well I suppose it would be....I believe there is a stow away on the ship. I think...he has been eating part of the rations, and I-I think he is Onrei."

"How do you know this to be so?"

"I am sure you have been informed of the attempt on my life. The name. He is Onrei, and while we are away...I would like you to find him for me if he is not currently making his way onto the ship now."

"I would be honored to take up such a task for you."

"Please do not do so lightly, Captain. His gift is strong and could make you pay a horrible price. If you choose to back out at any point I understand-but I don't think he will be so forgiving if he discovers you are looking for him."

"Are you able to speak of his gift?"

You glanced around leaning in a little more."He comes in your dreams. He can hold you there if need be. He can make you live terrible things. I understand if you don't-"

"I will take the task, Lady Ren. Just know that I will need to call upon you someday."

"And I will answer it with swiftness."

"Lady Ren? What would you like me to do when I find him?"

You gulped harshly before answering. "Do what you see fit."

"Your nose...it's bleeding."

You gripped your nose and tilted your head back. Captain Phasma pulled out a handkerchief pressing it into your hand. Some of the drops had already made their way to the floor.

"Get onto the ship. I will take care of this, Lady Ren." She snapped her fingers for the soldiers to clean up the blood. They rushed over cleaning up the spots. Some of it even got on one of the Storm Trooper's boots. An officer assisted you onto the ship.

"We hope that you find the ship well. To your liking?" The jittery officer asked.

"What?"

"Does it please you?"

"It's rather large."

"The envoys must be guarded on this assignment."

"Yes, well I hope I can stay out of everyone's way. I am afraid I will just gum up the operation if I am out and about."

"I can show you to your room. Right this way."

The walk was brief, but you chalked that up due to the ships mimicry to the halls of Star Killer. You were pleasantly surprised as a port opened from the floor. "Oh." You giggled kneeling down and removing your hand from your nose. The ladder was a short climb and just as you reached the floor he waved goodbye before the port door sealed above you. The lights raised, and the room was revealed. It was another miniature. Same darkness of yours and Kylo's quarters with the exception of a window. You were puzzled by the lack of glass when your thoughts drew to a bolder point. _Would he be staying with me or does he have his own?_

You cleaned yourself up and stayed below deck. You meant what you said about staying out of the way. You also wanted some alone time to think of why Geran didn't come to you when you slept in the med bay. _Perhaps, he couldn't visit if it was drug induced? Or if I pass out?_ He scared you in a way that you hadn't yet been frightened. Your instincts told you where he stood, but your heart was screaming that he was somewhere else. That he was capable of being trusted. Your heart was distorted with nostalgia, and your instincts too attuned to your new environment. No one could be trusted in any of this. You regretted asking Phasma for the favor, but there was no turning back on it now. What worried you more was what she would ask of you if she succeeded in the task.

The end of the cycle was coming when you decided the Commander was residing in another quarter. You washed up and ordered some food. You sat on your bed in a towel as the droid delivered the food down through the port. You tossed a large black shirt over yourself as you scarfed down the meal. You weren't allowed food in the med bay. They said the amount of drugs they used would induce vomiting if you ate. You were thankful for it to be over. You looked over yourself in the mirror. Nothing. Everything was just as it was. You jumped hearing the port open, and Commander Kylo slid down the edges of the ladder. A smirk couldn't help but tug at your lips. You had never witnessed him do anything so...fun.

He paused seeing you in just a shirt. He had never seen you look so informal.

"I, um, it was in the closet." You pulled at it's edges looking it over. "I should have asked first. I'm sorry."

He simply nodded before grabbing something from a drawer and heading back up.

_That was the smoothest interaction I've ever had with him...how unfortunate._

_____

Kylo was staying in the same quarters as you. He was just....avoiding you. It had been three days, and he had not been in there to sleep, eat, or shower. And you, of course, wanting to be out of the way stayed in there. You had taken a short nap on your first night to see if Geran was around. He was not thankfully. So that meant he was back on Star Killer. Maybe someone would find him while you were away. You were hopeful.

You laid in bed looking at your datapad for more information on Follicinea. It was an interesting planet, but your mind kept drifting off. You wondered about the fate of the Death Trooper. If he would be there when you got back? You shook your head knowing it was inappropriate to think of him. To care what happened to him or not, but it worried you. You wondered if there was a database of the soldiers. You restrained yourself from searching for it. You knew your history could be looked up. How did they expect you not to grow attached to your guard? He was your guard...right? _Kriff....I'm trying to make sense of it. I'm married. He could murder my people-what is wrong with me? The thought of him wasn't even worth the risk. Stop thinking about him._ You pressed your palm against your forehead. _I can block one of the most powerful Force users in the galaxy, but I can't pull a soldier out of my mind._

You bit your bottom lip as the image of him taking you away from the public to scream filled your mind. How he looked when he was training-Kriff this was hard. You felt a rising pressure in your lower stomach thinking what it would be like if he threw you over his lap and spanked you. How his hands would feel against your bare skin? How his lips would taste? You shifted on the bed closing your eyes. _I just need to sleep. Just a little._ But sleep wouldn't save you from your thoughts as they overpowered and stimulated your body.

You pulled your pillow over your head and groaned. _It's been a long week....he has yet to release me-I owe it to my body to...just._ Your fingers danced at the hem of your shirt before pulling it over your hips. Your other hand finding it's way up your shirt. You teased your breasts while your fingers rubbed delicately over your folds. You didn't want to overstimulate yourself too fast.

You imagined his hands taking hold of your hips as you rode him. Helping control your pace and force. Your hands pressing against his chest while sweat glistened off your bodies. His fingers sometimes dipping between your legs to rub your swollen nub. The swell of his hard cock disappearing in and out of you while your cum dripped down over it clinging to every inch.

Your hand removed itself from your breast pressing the pillow harder against your face. You didn't need the whole ship to know.

_____

Kylo was already sick of this trip as he sat down at the control panels for the night. There were a few other copilots there, but even they were drifting in and out of sleep. He had been on much longer missions with much less sleep, but for some reason it kept coaxing him in and out. He roused at one point feeling that he had become hard. He glanced around before slipping his erection up toward the waist line of his pants. He didn't pay much mind to it until he felt an odd sensation. He was lucid, but he still knew something was off when he felt it. He felt like he was about to cum. He didn't know what was going on, but he had absolutely no control over it. The lights started to flicker as he tried his best to stand up. The copilots looked around confused pressing buttons and checking systems to see what was going, and that is when it happened. He rounded his chair, and he felt his load sliding down his torso towards his legs. 

" Commander, are you ok?"

"Worry about getting the systems back online. I will go check the back up systems." He snarled at them before disappearing into the dark hallways. He needed to go clean up.

_____

You arched your back into your hand as you came all over it. It felt like you were floating, and that was because you were. The gravity had turned off along with all the lights. The emergency lights flickered on, and that's when you heard his boots hit with a loud thud.

You plummeted to the bed as the gravity came back on.

"Is everything ok?" You asked out of breath. Your cheeks flushed from the experience.

" Yes."

You tugged at the shirt pulling it down further over your legs.

"Get dressed and get out. I need to shower."

"No-I,I can't."

"You can't?"

"Please. I'll be good, I swear. Here." You grabbed the black hand towel from it's rack and put it over your eyes. "I promise I won't look. Just don't make me go up there." The silence unnerved you, but you really didn't want to go up there. At least not after that.

"Turn around."

"Ok." You did as he asked. You heard some movement before you were pushed onto your knees on the bed. A metal clinking noise hit your ears while your arms were pushed forward and binders were attached to your wrists. He handcuffed you to the headboard facing the wall. "Is this really necessary?"

"Would you like to stay?"

"Yes."

"Then it is necessary." He grunted before you heard a click and hiss. Your back tensed, but you stayed as still as possible knowing that any sudden movement was sure to set off a fit of anger. You allowed the beast to trap you. _Why am I so stupid?_ You asked yourself while listening to him remove the rest of his attire. You were finally able to relax when he stepped into the shower. _It was a silly thing to do. While a crazed man is back on Star Killer, and I have a mission myself....Maker, I just needed to relax though._

Your body tightened up again as you heard the shower door open. You listened as he opened the drawers and closet looking for his clothes. "You can eat too if you want? I won't move. I promise." You coaxed him. He hadn't eaten in three days. You knew him to be a strong warrior, but even that had to be gnawing at him.

" I have already ordered." He mentioned in a tense whisper. "Don't begin to tell me-...what's that?"

"What's what?"

"On the bed." He continued to whisper like he was keeping a secret. You felt the bed shift as he sat. His hand moved over the blanket before he stopped all movement. The air had lost all of it's warmth as you sat on your knees and wondered what he was talking about. _Oh no._ Your head fell between your shoulders knowing exactly what he found.

He pressed his fingers together feeling your cum between his fingers. He swallowed, his jawline tense as he looked down your back and at the curve of your rump before resting his eyes between your thighs. "Were you touching yourself?" He asked softly before moving closer to you.

You didn't know how to answer or if there was a right answer. What did he want to hear? So you gave him the only thing you could offer. The truth. "Yes." You said solemnly into your elbow. "I have had some...anxiety, and I needed-wanted to do it. Should I- I mean do you want me to....ask permission next time?" Your anxiety was skyrocketing now if it wasn't already.

He edged closer to you. The bed fumbling under his weight as his mouth neared your ear. His breath shook. "Can I? Can I feel you?" He seemed....nervous. He was nervous to ask you.

"I, uhm, of course, Commander- uh." He inserted one of his fingers inside of you feeling your slick walls. Once you realized he was just curious and not trying to play some sick game, you relaxed. He noticed as your walls alleviated some of the pressure that you were calming down. So he took the opportunity to insert another finger inside. You pressed your lips together while he continued to explore before starting a slow fluid motion of dipping them in and out of you. A small breath escaped you while he attempted to insert another finger."Commander?"

"Does that hurt?"

"If it could just be two for now?" You asked earnestly. Now you were whispering as well. " Please?"

"Yea." He mumbled before removing his third finger then pulling the other two out. You let out a soft whine, but then the warmth returned to you. His fingers rubbed over your wet folds. He paused feeling your nub. Your hips lowered into his hand wanting him to continue to touch it. "Do you like that?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, Commander."

His fingers teased you while his other hand grabbed at your hip before getting on his knees as well. His length poked against your back aching for attention when there was a knock on the port...it was Hux.

"Did you break the ship?"He shouted through the durasteel.

You groaned and rolled your eyes. He had terrible timing. Kylo was already off the bed and whipping his clothes about trying to pull the rest on. "It is on emergency systems. Do you need me for everything?" He roared through his vocoder as he climbed up the ladder and through the port.

And then there you were. In your quarters handcuffed to your bed, blindfolded, and sitting with a throbbing mess between your legs. _This would happen to me._

_____

**Back on Star Killer.**

M7HA was down in the med bay. He needed to ensure the dream ensnarers were not found in your belongings. It could prove a gruesome end if they were. It was simple enough to find them as he played his usual role as the dumb droid. He paused seeing a doctor's robe hanging from a hook, and he could not resist. He slipped the white lab coat over his shoulders and posed in the mirror when he heard a shout. He hurriedly threw it off and looked out into the hallway.

He looked left and then right. There was nothing there, but a bucket and a vibromop. His feet clanked gently as he stepped out into the hallway.

"Hello?"He took a few more steps. "Hello? Oh! Well hello there little fellow. I don't think I have seen your kind around here before-Ahhhh!"

The pills fell into the bucket, and M7HA was dragged down the sterile halls of the med bay and into the maze of the vents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, bookmarking, and leaving kudos! :D


	8. Night Terror

Your fingers trembled while the gaze of the troopers never left yours. Some had removed their helmets thinking their screens had betrayed them to the actual event. Your eyes cast themselves down to the trooper below you. His breathing had become a little less ragged, and one by one the poisonous quills dripped from his neck. You grasped his cheeks forcing his eyes awake once more. His hand reached up for yours and grasped it warmly. A sick stickiness met his gloves. His own blood.

"None of you must speak of this to anyone."

_____

**Earlier that cycle.**

"Did you not sleep well?" The General asked having seen you yawn several times on the flight. You were on the way to Follicinea.

"Yes, I did...I do not know what has come over me." You lied pressing a hand to your chest. Embarrassment was something that not even the great Kylo Ren could master, so the only way he knew how to cope was to punish you. You had remained handcuffed and blindfolded for the majority of the trip. You knew he was unaware of what you had been masturbating to before his arrival, yet you felt the punishment he was divulging against you had been...fitting in some ways. You should have never thought of the Death Trooper in such a way, and then to let _him_ of all people to touch you. It would have boded much worse for you though if you hadn't. You had to give him some credit though as he had been a bit kinder this time around.

You thought over the reasons why he would have been, and the only conclusion you could come up with was that you were tied down. You couldn't see or move. You couldn't possibly pose a threat to him then. Maybe that was why he preferred you on all fours? You wouldn't be able to take off his helmet. Not that you wanted to. You were afraid you wouldn't like what you saw beneath that mechanical mask. Some things were best kept a secret. He needed you weak though in order to feel comfortable....so did he find you strong?

These thoughts were pushed aside as you gathered your skirt ready to depart. As soon as you rose you were engulfed by an entourage of Storm Troopers. You looked back holding your hand out for Kylo knowing that he would not approve of you leading the line. Not that he cared if you were struck down. His concern was of him looking weak for sending his wife out first. You rolled your eyes as he brushed past you and down the ramp. You chuckled shaking your head at the dark phantom. "Ever so eager." You mused to one of the troopers. They nodded their head to you as you were escorted out of the ship. There was another ship alongside yours with even more troopers. The sight sent your heart in a flutter. This time had to be more serious than the previous dinners.

The pungent smell of sulfur filled your nose, and your eyes widened as you realized you were standing on a considerably sized leaf. You clutched one of the troopers forearms as you felt your feet to be a bit unstable on the thin flora floor. Bent and curling trees with moss slung over it's branches had water covering well over half their height. Various birds had stopped their songs and caws at the visage of the intruders while multiple amphibians took flight into the depths of the water. Speckled across the see of brown were all sorts of flowers, but even those seemed ominous as one gobbled up a rather large rodent.

"What is this?" You whispered kneeling down and peering over it's edge while keeping a tight grip on the troopers forearm.

"The Follicinea kingdom is built on a swamp." One of the troopers answered mechanically while trying to pry one of your fingers off of one of the buttons you were pressing causing water to shoot into their face from their reserves.

"Sorry....But I saw photos....it didn't look like this."

"The water levels have risen liberally perhaps since the publishing of that history. Something we may be able to barter with them."Hux explained.

"Barter?"

"Yes, we could have this drained. That or we could have them leveled off on higher land. I would be very surprised if the kingdom itself was not under some sort of water. Tread carefully, Princess. We are not alone, and the elements and animals here are quite poisonous. _We do not need you dying again._" The General informed you while walking the leaves with a swagger. You glared at him while cursing him in your mind. He was close to the truth, and if you couldn't thwart the ideas passing through that weasel's brain-you would have to make a rash decision. One you didn't think you were quite ready for yet.

Your squadron of troopers had to spread out in order to keep the leaves from sinking. You took off your shoes, teetering along trying to keep your balance as you hopped from leaves, logs, and rocks. You swore you saw yellow eyes looking at you from the water at one point when you were looking down at your miserable First Order issued grey dress, but shook it off knowing that the fear would consume you and make you fall. Your tense muscles found relief as all of you ascended the stone steps of the castle. Your band of troopers forming around you once again. The kingdom had not been underwater, and you weren't sure that Hux's plan would work as it felt like the kingdom had been built atop of something that was...breathing. At the top of the stairs stood the king, queen, and a small boy you recognized to be their son. His golden eyes glimmered upon seeing you just before tucking himself back behind his mother's leg.

"Don't mind him....he has been speaking of this all day. He has read all about Onrei." The queen spoke cautiously while trying maintain a warm tone. Her eyes wavered in looking at you.

"He has?" You asked happily.

"He has many questions for you."

"I hope I can answer them all." You squatted down holding out a hand for the boy. He nuzzled his face into his mother's raw silk skirt. It was the most gorgeous shade of burnt orange.

"He will come out soon enough. Well shall we start with a tour?" She asked raising her purple drawn brows to the General and Commander. Her face building a stronger resolve as she looked at what may be her future leaders.

Although the smell had been strong, and you had been warned of the dangers that lurked here, the pictures had not done it any justice. It was a kingdom that could rival Onrei in your opinion. Hux strode next to the king and queen while Kylo lingered back studying the guards that followed. You on the other hand lagged behind the two. You were much too distracted by the windows. They shimmered like crystals causing different colored lights to be cast across the rooms. You loved watching the birds fly through the sky causing peculiar shadows to cross the floor.

You stood in the center of one of the rooms looking out over the floor as it was feeding time for many beings in the swamp. The sky was engaged with the dance of feeding. You had lost track of the group, but the boy stayed along watching as you looked at the floor. He shadowed you as you turned again and again to watch. Soon you were twirling as he did his best to keep up. Your skirt sometimes hitting his face. He giggled chasing you across the throne room. You tricked him as he ran straight into your arms. You chuckled as he blushed madly.

You held him more closely as a sound of swords being unsheathed met your ears. The Follicinean guards were defensive by your action of picking the boy up. A harsh tension rose in you as you heard the pacing of Kylo Ren coming. "Please put your swords down." Your hands shook trying to make the boy slide down from your hip, but he would not budge. "Please....I-"

"That will be enough, gentlemen." The queen stood at the doorway seeming to have beat Kylo Ren to the scene. "She means no harm, or Dricken would not clutch her so. Sheath your swords...NOW." She scowled at her guards before holding her hand out to you. "He is not fond of many, so consider yourself lucky." She chuckled while holding your hand. "Please remain alongside us. The guards are a bit high strung...you understand?"

"My apologies. I should have been more aware. It was foolish of me."

"It is quite alright dear. I am so fortunate to have a son that is a good judge of character, or else I would have entrusted my guards to impale you."

You were slightly caught off by her dauntless words. However, you were warned that they were not of the amicable nature from the start. You continued your tour still toting Dricken on your hip. The guards had eased back, but you weren't sure if it was under the queen's orders or Kylo Ren's new station near you. He was not sure of the entirety of events, but you were certain he was searching for it as the queen had become a little faint. The tour paused as she was finding her balance, and a single drop of blood fell onto the floral carpet. A servant hastily cleaned it up, doing their best to stay out of the sight of the phantom.This was probably why Kylo wasn't invited to these meetings. It wasn't very welcoming to have your mind probed immediately. Fortunately, the queen, in all of her grace chalked it up to an illness she had been suffering from a few nights previous.

"Ask me your questions little one?" You asked as all of you began to move again. You smiled adjusting him on your hip. He cupped his hands whispering in your ear.

"I heard that the Onrei are the best warriors in the galaxy....how were they not able to defeat Kylo Ren?"

Your face paled at the question. Your lips pressed together. "There was no need for defeat. The Onrei are great warriors because they know when to go to war. This was not something to have warfare over." You assured the boy praying that the others had not heard his question. You settled him back to the ground deciding it best that he not ask anymore. Just in case your husband could hear. You walked solemnly in the group no longer paying attention to what was being said. When you were led back to the throne room, you sighed standing in front of one of the windows watching the sun give the glimmers a last shake before sinking slowly down beyond the horizon. You felt a tug on your skirt and saw the small boy holding a flower up to you.

_____

**Kylo Ren**

They had set the table up in the throne room. You had lost interest half way through the tour. Kylo did not understand what disheartened you, but it was enough to keep your attention in other places. Kylo hated when you retreated into your mind. You were excellent at never projecting your thoughts. You had proven yourself stronger than even force sensitive in that regard, but your feelings on the other hand washed over Kylo like the tides. You were sad. Kylo hated when you were sad. It wasn't very often, but when you were....it was draining. Kylo watched you as you stood in front of the window. You were concentrated on having the final memories of the window.

The small boy, Dricken, pulled on your dress holding up a large crimson flower to you. A smirk crossed your red lips as you grasped it with three fingers. He escorted you over to the table and sat upon your lap. Kylo admired you. Your long locks fell over your shoulders in waves. Your lips stained with the darkest red Kylo had seen to date, and your eyes......there was no occasion where they weren't beautiful.

Your arm pressed against the boys back, and you pressed your lips to his forehead. Your eyes fluttering shut.....Kylo envied the child. The way your warm, soft lips pressed to his head so lovingly...how they could never touch Kylo in such a way because he had pushed you away, and because you considered him a monster. _Her marriage to me is only that of obligation...not that it wasn't for me....but it would be nice if she could...if she would._ Kylo shuttered at the thought as more thoughts that weren't his own crept in. _Too high of hopes for a monster. A night terror at best. Old habits die hard, and she wouldn't be able to forgive you, not the way you have treated her, and it wasn't possible for you...there isn't a possibility for you to promise that you could never hurt her, Ren._ The emotions were too chaotic. _Stay away from her. Maybe she can get out alive._ That was the best way to protect you. To remain uncaring, but you made it so difficult. Kylo had been amazed with you not just because of your beauty, but your willingness to learn. To keep trying even if you weren't very good at something. You were strong and, when you weren't smart you would figure it out, and you would defend him without Kylo so much as having to ask....

But here Kylo was sitting across from you, his wife, envious of a small child that you had graced your lips onto his forehead.

_Just when I thought you could sink no lower. You're jealous of a child._

_____

The boy continued sitting in your lap throughout dinner.

"You have many animals on Onrei?" He asked excitedly plucking the fruit from the icing of the dessert.

"Yes, what animals do you know?"

"Hmm. The lolocks, the sentaria rats, the bejangle cat...um."

"I heard you were given a reek as a wedding gift." The King mused shoveling some cake into his mouth. He looked at you with interest wanting to know more about it. 

"Yes....that was a mistake. We do have predator animals on our planet, but none so deadly as the reek. Very difficult to control."

"So what did you do with it?" The queen eagerly asked.

"Well, it escaped it's enclosure. We had to round it back in."

"How frightful?"

You nodded averting your eyes to the table. "How did you capture it?" The boy asked happily. "Did the warriors go after it?"

You giggled. "Hardly. A few farm hands went after it."

"Then what happened?" The King asked with just as much enthusiasm as the boy. 

You shifted a bit.

"My wife is too humble to speak of it." Your eyebrows rose at hearing the vocoder. He hadn't uttered a word since you landed.

"Why what happened?"

"The farm hands gave their best attempt at capturing the creature. My wife mounted her varactyl and rode with dart gun in hand and pierced the beasts back several times."

"Did it slow it?"

"Just enough." You said eyes glued to the half eaten fruit on your plate.

"Then what happened?"

"It just.....stopped." You said not wanting to speak of your husband's actions. You didn't want to frighten them although he was trying to make you seem stronger in front of them. What a weird balance of play this was turning out to be? Did he think you too weak to handle these dinners? You had already poisoned yourself at the one previous. How much more loyalty did you need to show? "It laid down....and fell asleep."

"That's boring." The child said saddened.

You were amused by his comment and shrugged. "What would be a better ending?" You asked him, interest perked.

"If the soldiers came."

"You really like our warriors."

"Are they fiercer than a reek?"

"Much more."

"Are they the scariest thing to grace the land?"

"Hmm...." You thought looking over to Kylo. He had been the scariest thing to come to Onrei. You thought back to the Reek. How it slowed.....it's heart being squeezed....it was quiet and brutal...much like your marriage. He could have killed it in a much more gruesome way, and your mind took off in it's own imagination wondering what was the cruelest way he had ever killed someone."You should visit Onrei." You changed the subject realizing you weren't being an attentive guest.

"Oh, we have certainly thought of it. You must show us the ways of the Onrei if we go."

Your lips fell into a frown as the comment made you feel uncomfortable. You did not want Master Kylo nor anyone in the First Order to think you had a dire desire to go back. You were sure they knew; however, to make it known into the air....what a terrible cost that could be to you?

"Do you know when you will be returning?"

"I..." You paused keeping your gaze on the Queen. "I have much to do. There have been no future dates set as of yet." Her eyes glistened at the news. Her lips pressed into a line, and for a moment-maybe it was just in your mind-but for a moment you thought you saw her ache for you. That she wanted to help you. It was not as subtle as you thought it had been as Kylo's fist slammed to the table. You jumped your eyes blinking a few times from surprise. You grasped his hand from across the table and chuckled to the king and queen. "Much to my husband's dismay." You covered for him. _Don't do this here._ You projected to him. _They will think I am your prisoner._

_That's what you believe don't you?_

_No._

_You are a liar._

_Then punish me later for it. Control yourself, Commander, please at least until we get to the ship._

_You cannot order me around._

_I am not my Lord. I am only suggesting something. Do not give these people a reason to pity me. Or each planet we visit will become writhed with rumor of your abuse of me. Show these people you can have a gentle hand....at least in public._

His fist loosened and his thumb massaged the back of your hand gently.

"I apologize. I miss the falls of Onrei."

You couldn't force back the blush as the image of you falling naked from the sky came drifting into your mind. His touch was so loving that it surprised you.

"I want to go to Onrei." The little boy said happily wrapping his arms around your neck. You smiled planting another kiss onto his head causing Kylo's caress to become a little harsher. Was he jealous....of the child? You sat baffled for a moment before little Dricken persisted. "And I will marry you, Princess." You let out a nervous giggle feeling Kylo's hand tighten.

"Oh, I will be very old by then. You will find a lovely Onrei woman there."

"No, I want to marry you."

You kept your stare on the boy feeling that your hand was being pressed ever harder.

"Excuse me....I don't feel very well." Your free hand gently removed the boy from your lap. Kylo withdrew his hand from yours which you quickly retreated into one of your pockets, so that they would not see any marks.

"Was the food not to your liking?" The King asked worried.

"No, it was amazing. I love that cake. What was it that you called it?"

"Jenjalan."

"Yes that. It was so lovely and flavorful...I just haven't felt very well as of late. Please, excuse me."

"We must be going anyways." The General nodded as he wanted to leave long ago.

The storm troopers enclosed around you as you found your own way out. You had forgotten that Kylo hated you taking the lead as your anguish was not easy to sooth. _He was angry over silly commentary of a child. He was jealous of the child....does he like me? He must have to some degree. Or at least. No, he wants to own me. I am his property, his prisoner. He seemed hurt though that I would think, but how am I not suppose to think that?_

You were lost in your thoughts crossing a log when suddenly a large black tentacle came out of the water. You let out a small shriek in fright as you dunked. It wrapped it's slimy arm around a Storm Trooper's neck and dragged them back into the water. The Storm Troopers were ready to flee, but you stopped them.

"We can't leave them."

"He's dead-"

"We don't know that." Your eyes filled with worry seeing the bubbling from beneath. 

"He has to be left behind...it's part of the rules."

"No, we have to help him...I-I order you to help him." You took off your cloak ready to jump in, but just as you became ready to take the leap the arm came out still gripping the trooper slamming him into a tree. "Retrieve him, now." His body hung loosely over the roots. Three of the troopers were able to grab him while the rest kept their blasters raised, escorting you to the ship. It had been the troopers ship, but it was the closer of the two to ensure your safety. A few more arms came from the water trying to slither their way into the craft. You could see Kylo running with a fury and raising a hand. You still had the troopers shoot at the tentacles.

"Go." He cried out to the troopers as he was able to make all the arms freeze. "Get her back to the main ship. Leave if there are anymore threats present."

"No, we can't leave him."

"Commander Kylo will be fine Mrs., but if we don't get back to base rescuing QR-9081 will be all for not." The trooper convinced you as the doors closed on the scene of Kylo unsheathing his saber. 

You gulped hard at seeing the sullen trooper on the floor. The one medic of the flight halting their procedures realizing they did not have the equipment to help him. The flight had been particular rough, but you unbuckled yourself and pulled his head into your lap. Blood from his neck seeped all over your hands. Tears trickled from your eyes as you tugged at his helmet.

" Lady Ren, you mustn't-"

"I don't care. Do you want him to live?" You growled ferociously.

"But it-"

"Shh."

You said as his brown eyes half opened looking at you. "Did he make it?"

"The Commander's ship is in the air."

"Good...what was that thing?"

"It looks like it was a Follicinea squid."A female trooper read off from her screen. "Do you see any needles?"

"I see a few." The dark yellow hollowed needles jutted from his neck. Blood was stating to ooze from the holes while some started coming out of his nose.

"The poison will be setting in soon. Lady Ren, I insist you let him go. If the toxin were to get on you, you may face the same fate."

"What will happen?"

"It will hit his nerves, open a few a channels, and paralysis will take hold- please- let him go."

"We don't have much time then. I want us on reserve power now."

"We just got out of atmosphere. We need to-"

"Now."

"Lady Ren, please we implore you-"

"Turn off your comms."

"What- have you gone mad?"

"All of you do as I say, or he will die."

They never had reason to distrust you before. So one by one they each turned off their communications systems, and the ship filled with darkness before the emergency lights flickered on. All that could be heard was his raspy breath.

"I am going to only ask you once....this will be a pact....a bond...you must understand the weight of this, and what it will mean for you? Would you like to live?" You whispered to him softly.

His voice rasped and quivered. You were afraid you were too late. A death rattle may have already been settling in.

"You must remain loyal to me understood? That is the only way it works."

He nodded his legs starting to kick wildly. You grabbed him tightly and steadied him as you spoke.

"What are you doing to him-"

"I need everyone quiet during this process...please."You went from yelling to whispering while opening his chest plate of his armor. You took his knife and cut open his body glove before you placed hand on his heart. You closed your eyes and clenched your teeth. _I shouldn't be doing this._ "A life was made with death we evade....and promised onto me. An- o-oath to the motherland of Onrei. To warmth of suns, or Gesypu lungs. A bond to break you free."

His body stilled for so long. _It didn't work._ Your hands reached for your face trying to cover it from your shame. None of them knew what would happen, so instead...you looked crazed. Some were already affirming in their mind that you were indeed a perfect fit for Kylo. That was until his finger twitched.

_____

**Present**

None would have believed it if they hadn't seen it with their own eyes. Now you have a different storm to deal with as they all came forward to see the new air beating through QR-9081. The needles were carefully picked up with tweezers and placed into baggies while the others gave their undivided attention to him. You backed away to give everyone space and to give yourself enough ease to think.

You finally found the courage to speak. "None of you must tell anyone what happened here....I-I have never done it to someone who is not Onrei."

"What did you do to him?"

"I-I-I" Your hands were shaking once more.

"Please, what will happen to me?" QR-9081 asked rubbing his neck. He saw how you trembled and looked back to the soldiers. " No one knows...do they?"

"Everyone wants it, but they don't understand what happens."

"Don't I have a right to know?"

"You do." You admitted.

"What has happened here does not leave this ship."He announced looking over the soldiers. "I will hunt you down myself. "

The soldiers agreed not to speak of it, but you knew....eventually it would get out. You would just have to be the first to somehow show Kylo.

"Tell me....what's going to happen to me?"

"I gave you the life of Onrei. You will serve me....for when I die....you will take my place, and your soul will be given back to Onrei in payment."

"When you die...I will die instead."

"Yes."

"And my soul goes to Onrei?"

"Yes, whether it be to the flowers, or becoming an Onrei yourself....which in theory I suppose should eventually happen..."

"You do realize I am a soldier right?"

You nodded.

"I have to lay down my life for you regardless. I have heard Onrei is quite pretty." He grinned not worried of his fate.

"That isn't all....if you are to betray me- then your soul dies."

His face fell knowing that this could prove to be a grim situation after all. Since his servitude is first that of the First Order and the triumvirate.

_____

As soon as the ramp let down you exited in such a speed that the General initially thought you were running away. "Princess? Are you alright? You look startled." He glanced down to your hands and dress to see blood all over them. "Did he survive?"

"Yes, he is quite well. Where is the Commander?"

"Your husband has been called by the Supreme Leader. He has departed. We will be meeting him back on Star Killer."

"Thank you. Excuse me. I need to rest." You brushed past him making way for your room. _Why am I so stupid?_ You looked for a second as they lifted QR-9081 off of the ship. The soldiers were kind enough to inflict injuries to him to explain the blood. _I've made this web large now haven't I?_ You scolded yourself for having been so empathetic. At least you knew better to switch to emergency power. None of the cameras worked then. _How could I do this to them? An oath they can't possibly uphold, and as for the rest? Who knows if they will be able to hold the secret? How can I blame them if they didn't? Why did he have to leave now? He needs to know. Hux knows. Oh maker, he knows, and I just keep handing him ammunition. One of them will break. I should have just performed the task on all of them, but that wouldn't make me any better than him? Inflicting my power by force. No...I would be just like him._

You climbed down into your quarters, and as soon as the port shut you began to feel just how heavy your dress had become from the blood. It was making you nauseous as the old copper smell lingered in your nose. The weight of it repulsed you. You plucked off your gown and got in the shower.

You thought being alone with him had been the most dangerous thing of all, but now you weren't so sure as Hux now had you cornered. It was a one week journey before you would arrive back to base. Back to a monster. Back to a vengeful best friend. But for now you sat in the grasp of the General, and that was one in comparison to being pitted against three. Yes, for now one was better than three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love and support! <3 You are all so good to me! I hope all of you have a lovely weekend.
> 
> XOXO


	9. Bloom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major happenings here. Don't want to ruin anything, but please read warnings in tags. Thank you for your patience and support as always it is very much appreciated.
> 
> XOXO

**Kylo Ren & Hux**

Kylo managed to ensnare the squid's mind into sleep, allowing the rest of the troopers and General Hux to pass in safety. He abhorred himself for letting you get so far ahead of him. It could have been you that was almost drowned and poisoned, and he was sure this time you wouldn't have the remedy for this one. Follicinea had been a very secretive planet, releasing very little historical or any other factual information out to the public. It was hard enough getting even a photo of the royal family, and the text they could get on it was ancient.

Kylo stomped onto the ship already forcing it upward even before the engines could be started. The troopers despised this when he did it, but they seemed a little more prepared for it this time, realizing he was not in the mood to be badgered. Although the General did not seem to pick up on the consensus of Kylo Ren's mood.

"She could have been killed." Kylo's head snapped toward the General at his words. "By her own accord, of course."

Kylo kept to himself, but still the General persisted.

"What was she thinking? Walking ahead of you? Like she was your better?"

Kylo cocked an eyebrow beneath his helmet. _Does this snake think your rage could blind you to his tricks?_

"Her place is beside you. I quite frankly think she is getting too comfortable here. "

"She would not be the only one. Now silence yourself before I do it for you."

"I am only reminding you of what the Supreme Leader would want-"

Kylo got up in such haste that he had the General pinned against the wall before they could even blink. He held his hand up squeezing his fingers together ready to crush his throat. "You're interested in _my wife_ so much so I have mind to bring it to the attention of the Supreme Leader."

The General's slender fingers reached for Kylo's glove trying to grasp it. He struggled to speak. "I only-speak-for the concern...of the First Order. She put my troopers-in danger." The troopers were just now raising their barrels some still keeping theirs pointed to the floor. This had never transgressed between the two of them. Typically they argued and went their separate ways, but the General had hit a nerve. There was no protocol for what could be done here.

"Yes, the First Order." He spoke while opening his hand after Hux had hit his darkest shade of red possible. He stepped away from him and took a seat. "I will find a fitting punishment for her insolence, but from now on that is a sole concern of my own....not yours. You worry about your troopers."

"That is all I ask."

_____

**Ship back to Star Killer. Day 3.**

You had still not heard any word of the Commander, and the General seemed to be keeping his distance for now. You did your best to rest peacefully while you could, but there were daunting trials ahead of you. You were becoming paranoid with what the Storm Troopers may or not be saying.

That is when you were met with QR-9081.

_____

**Troopers quarters.**

They had all kept to themselves, quickly finding a distinction from those who were there from those who were not. It had been like seeing a ghost. Some would believe but who really? No one believed of Kylo Ren's powers until he gave the halls a good thrashing and mauled through a few officers. This wasn't the same though because now they knew a secret that not even the Commander knew. Something he could easily extract from them were he to find out.

Cel sat at the edge of her bed squeezing it's edge so tight her knuckles were turning white. The rest sat with their drinks between their legs and a roll of spice dangling between their lips. Contraband they had taken from some past raids.

"You think they will come looking for us first?" She asked nervously. Her bright green eyes wavering for a moment before taking a swig from her durasteel mug.

"It's hard to say. Hux comes-what does it matter? I heard the last bit of truth serum was stolen from the labs."Telon burped out.

"What if they already made a new one?"

"They have." Sinth replied. His muscles tensing at the thought. "That is why there was no man hunt for it....it still needs human trials. I got a ping that some Resistance members were captured....trials will be done soon."""

"We had a lot of dumb luck that the Commander threatened Hux."

"How do you know?" Fein asked.

"Garison told me. Cornered the general and threatened to crush his throat because of his interest in his wife." Sinth spoke looking down at his roll that he spun between his fingers.

"Hmm. Now we can't get near her either."

"Bold move on Quort then." Cel chuckled a little out of stress.

"What?"

"He went to talk to her."

"You were suppose to guard him-"Telon growled out.

Cel defended herself. "Look, we need answers, and she is the only one with them. We can't protect ourselves against him-"

Sinth grumbled. "She can't either. You've seen her roaming the halls. She can cover all she wants, but the rumors-"

"The food has changed because of her. Something a mass of us couldn't manage to do. And she protected Halei after the painting fiasco. I have faith in her."

"He made an example out of her....that was dumb luck too. It's not just her though. What if Quort reports back to Phasma, hmm? We will be singled out quickly for saying nothing."

"He can't, remember, he'll die, and he is much too vain for that to happen. He will be loyal to her."

"What if that isn't true?"

"It still wouldn't be beneficial for him because if they do kill her, he dies."

"They won't kill her." Fein snorted.

"Torture her? Will he feel that?"

"Things aren't looking to good for Quort are they?" They chuckled in unison when the door opened. They scrambled tucking their rolls away and hiding their drinks behind their backs. Even Jess flipped her roll into her mouth. 

Quort stood in the doorway before stepping aside to reveal you.

"I think we have come up with a solution."

You tried to ease them with a nervous smile. They shuffled themselves making space for you as they wondered how Quort made the transfer without setting off any alarms. You sat down next to Cel and looked over to Jess who was having a bit of a rough time keeping the roll in her mouth.

"You may take it out...I do not care." You chuckled, seeing her eyes watering.

_____

You felt a little more settled after your meeting with the troopers. You didn't like what was happening as it put you in a precarious position for several reasons, but you did what was asked of you nonetheless. What was one more secret? It wasn't like Kylo would be finding out anytime soon. Hux, on the other hand, was still a large chunk of the problem. This would be solved too in the long run.

Your head hung low as you thought of the words again. What was another secret? Secret. It was something that was cute as a child. Something small, hidden, and whispered, but now it felt like a heavy weight that could never be evaded. The whispers were the same, but even more deadly now. It even hurt a little that you were hiding something else from him. He had his secrets too, didn't he? You wouldn't see him for days at a time, and he would never mention where he was going. He had your world by a string. It could be destroyed without your notice at any instant, and the reveal could be even more devastating. Yes, he could do many terrible things to you, and some he had, but he was capable of so much worse. You wished he had thought of you this way. A threat, but not quite. Nothing was scarier than something though wasn't it? You didn't even give him a taste of what you could do to him, but he would know soon. Him and Hux. The hurt would leave a mark they will never forget.

You sighed, shaking the thoughts from your head before leaning over to the nightstand. You opened the drawer and pulled a few pills out. They were given to you after the _traumatic_ event. You really didn't need them, but sleep had not been coming easy these past few nights. You needed the rest. You tossed them back and dried swallowed before curling up on your side and drifting off to sleep.

_____

You awoke to the sound of Taleranian birds. You grumbled folding your pillow over your head. You didn't realize their mating season had started.... _Their mating season had started...wait?_ You sat up and scrambled out of bed. You tripped over the sheets and fell hard against the floor. Your eyes fluttered open to see a bright light shining through the windows. "I'm in Onrei...I am in Onrei."

You bounded out of the room and through the familiar palace halls. It was still early, but there were a few servants awake and preparing for the day. You slammed open the doors of the terrace and called out for Sheindi. You breathed heavily awaiting the rumble of her feet, but they did not come. You jumped feeling a hand on your shoulder.

You turned to see your mother and father. You embraced them hurriedly and longingly. "Is this a dream?"

"Well would you like a few rounds in the arena to find out?" Your father's tummy rumbled against his laughter.

"No, I, why am I here?....why is your hair down?"You raised an eyebrow looking over your mother. If she had time for anything it was always her hair, so it typically told the state of her mood depending on how down it was. She was not in a good mood. "Are you not happy to see me?"

"I only wish it was under better circumstances. You were brought here by the First Order under the request of Master Kylo Ren."

"Come now, Mira. He is not upset with her. He did not return her because of his displeasure. She is here for a visit."

"But why? What did you do, Y/N? Hmm? The Casteronian season is over?"

Your face fell realizing she knew that you had used your power on someone else.

"What blossoms am I to watch now?"

"She did it for good reason. Did you not darling?"

"He was dying, mama."

"Who, Kylo Ren? Or that giant soldier that they sent along with you?"

"Giant soldier?"

"Yes, the, what is that they called it, the Dead Trooper."

"Death Trooper?"

"Yes, that one."

"It was not him. He is my guard."You tried to stifle the feeling of happiness.

"They send only one for you. Either he is very good, or they want you to die."

"Mama, I am fine. I've been wanting to visit for so long, but here you bring worry to it all."

"How can I not worry? You are brought wearing all grey and asleep in the arms of a black armored giant."

"I can't help the clothes they have provided, and I married a black armored giant. Why does this one disturb you?"

"And they told you nothing of this visit-"

"Mira, leave the girl alone. Be happy to see your daughter." Your father surprised you as he had never commanded anything of your mother before, but even she was making him worried.

"Where is Sheindi?"

"She is in the stables." Your mother informed you.

"What? Why? She never sleeps in the stables."

"I will tell you on the way." She sighed taking your hand and placing it at the crook of her arm. Your father stayed behind to help the servants prepare breakfast.

"You look tired." She said very solemnly as you both walked on the path through the tall purple grass.

"I have been very busy, mama."

"I can see....the prisoner no longer bears the marks of your husband....who do you perform your gift on?"

"A soldier. A Storm Trooper."

"What's the difference between them? Do you love him?"

"You wouldn't like it if I told you. I would never pass this on to anyone I loved."

"So you wish him dead?"

"No, I just thought it would be wrong for him to die."

"You are a Princess, and a wife to a monster. He will die sooner rather than later at the rate enemies stack against you."

"You are a queen, yet you have no enemies."

"Don't think you are the only one who has rivals at your back. I gained all my enemies the day you were married. You are young and vibrant. It is much easier for you to adapt. I, on the other hand, am old and optimistic....and weak to safe guard myself against such things. No....but between the attack from the Resistance, and Geran looking for you-"

"Attack? They attacked here?"

"Yes. Just once though. It was a misunderstanding. They thought General Hux to be here. Tabloids, I believe, are said to what misled them."

"Was anyone hurt?"

Your mother bit her bottom lip as she opened the door to the stable. Sheindi was inside hooked up to what looked like a harness. Her leg was mangled terribly. She squawked and rambled at the sight of you. "You must not excite her too much. She was in the field when they started shooting. Her leg is the only thing that is damaged....we're trying to heal her, but she won't sit still long enough for it to heal."

"Of course, not. They were made to run. That is the only time she feels free. She doesn't understand." You spoke softly as one of the hands gave her a sedative. You were saddened that the only way you could be with her now was if she was more than half asleep. Her head dropped with her beak just barely touching the ground. You lifted her head a bit and pulled it into your lap. The tears hugged her feathers. Your fingers traced the lines of her beak. Some of her scales were missing, and it looked like she was going through a moult even though this wasn't the right season for it.

"She is stressed which is also making the healing take a lot longer...she misses you. I did ride her before it all-I was not the best at it, but she seemed to enjoy it somewhat...I did not want to worry you."

"I know you are trying, mama. I am just sad. I have felt alone there. That-I am cornered, but it isn't until I come back here that I realize that we are all cornered. I was never alone. Just isolated from your own pains. Maybe I should have been more understanding towards Geran-"

"Do not fall for the follies of that fool. I have never liked him, and he is part of the reason for your troubles......I will call to have breakfast served in here. We should all be together like we use to be."

Your mother was never the type to have breakfast in a stable, but for times like these called for different measures of occasion. Your father brought a blanket and basket and all of you sat eating. Sheindi nibbled a little on a fruit, but you knew it may not be agreeable on her stomach with the medicine. It pained you to see her this way, and you resented the Resistance for doing this to her. However, it made you wonder about the motivation of it. There were too many reasons for killing, and it was mostly the First Order that gave those reasons.

"You could heal her..."

"She would be tortured knowing what I am going through."

"You know if she continues like this, my starling, she will...she will die. You have to prepare yourself for one or the other."Your father patted your knee.

"Do you think she would understand enough to-agree to it?" Your heart clenched against the words.

"She had seen enough of your ceremonies growing up....she should know." Your mother cooed, trying her best to reassure you.

You nodded taking a hard gulp.

"Would you like a hand?"

"No I-I can do this. I just need to-I want her to understand that she won't be gone forever...that this is not my last moment with her....that it will only take a few seconds, and she will be back."

"It will work on her, Y/N. Do not worry. If it helps I will do the cut." Your mother reassured you before brushing off her hands. You nodded tenderly before putting Sheindi's head back into your lap. You clutched her plumage ensuring her eyes stayed against your chest. Your mother pulled a spear from the rack and held it awaiting your command. You gave a brief nod, allowing her to do what needed to be done. It was quick, and she only jerked a little as the spear pushed into her lower belly. The blood was quick to drain against the ground. You held her face level with yours and conducted the pact while she was still conscious. You braced for the worst as her eyes lazily fell to rest. You buried your face against her, beginning to cry when you heard a loud snap.

Her leg cracked loudly pushing itself back into place. The wounds sealed shut, and the infection faded away. New feathers and scales pushed up from her skin like flowers, but she still did not wake.

"Give her time. She needs rest, and you can go for a ride tomorrow." You shook your head, knowing that he was right. You laid her head delicately against the ground before turning back to your parents. This was not a normal day here. Not even for you.

_____

You kept to yourself for the most part. You made sure the hands helped you lower her onto the ground and out into the fields. You didn't want her waking up disoriented to a place she wasn't used to seeing. After that your mother requested you remain indoors for a bit. Really she wanted to be around you, but it was hard for her to admit. It wasn't until lunch until you realized something. "Where is Jentu?"

"Training with the giant."

You rolled your eyes as they insisted on calling him that. "He has a name."

"Well what is it then?"

"BN-5070."

"You can't be serious?"Your mother chuckled biting into a berry."What an odd thing to be called?"

"He didn't pick it. They are given to them."

"I should hope not." Your father chortled while picking up his cup. "I am headed over to the arena anyway. We can stop by and make sure Jentu has not killed him."

"Or the other way around."

"Not likely."

You let it slide as you needed to get dressed to go out. Of course, you weren't allowed back into your old room, but you had your choice in guest bedrooms. At the news of your arrival, tailors delivered you the finest outfits fitting for the season and at the request of your mother, took your old wardrobe to be altered. The gowns were long and varied in shades and embroideries. However, considering it was the hot months each were long flowing gowns with both or one breast revealed. It never bothered you before, but you would be traveling with BN-5070. You had a dilemma of bringing it up to your mother. She would know immediately your affections for the Death Trooper, and then what? You didn't know, so you decided it best to keep it to yourself. 

You chose a light green gown with both breasts revealed given how hot it was and wore your hair down to minimize the view. Your father leisurely escorted you through the markets. You were stopped by many for hugs and small conversation. Luckily, the First Order was an untouched subject for the most part. Most of Onrei still thought your marriage would eventually provide good for the galaxy. However, some were very much against it. You did not have much difficulty with these people as they kept their distance. But one woman stuck out in your mind. Probably because she spit on you. She thought you were hoarding your gift in preference for the First Order. Her baby was sick. You explained to her that there was more risk of her child dying under your gifts protection than the illness itself, but she was not having it. She was concerned for the child's soul.

_Come see me before I leave._ You had changed your mind in helping her. _We will ensure him a good rest._ She was elated by the words, but you felt a heavy knot in your throat. You did not want to perform this on Sheindi much less a child.

When you made it to the arena there were a few training sessions in progress. However, it seemed it was being disrupted by one particular fight. You didn't even have to guess to know it was between BN-5070 and Jentu. The crowd parted to make way for you and your father.

"How does he fair, Jentu?"Your father shouted to him happily, amused by the display before him.

"Stubborn."

"The armory will keep busy with all the weapons they have broken." The arena lead said entertained yet slightly annoyed to your father.

"A marvel isn't it though?" Your father watched with wonder.

They both glistened in sweat and their hair clung to their foreheads.

"Wow have they really been fighting for this long?" Your mother mused as she arrived next to you.

"You think him worthy now to protect me?"You asked cocking an eyebrow.

"I think Jentu needs a pay raise."

You giggled realizing Jentu most certainly did deserve one. BN-5070 must have heard your laughter because he suddenly turned his attention to you as he was in locked arms with Jentu. His mouth fell open a little when Jentu managed to shake his spear free and jab the blunt end into BN-5070's nose. He successfully knocked him out cold.

"Onrei is always the victor." Jentu grunted before dropping his spear and lying down on the ground. You blushed and looked away. You knew you probably should have went to him, but you did not want to appear too eager. Nor make it more aware that he failed because he was distracted by you. You caught your mother's eye as a few arena members went to his aid. She looked puzzled.

"Go to him...he will need to see a familiar face upon waking. "

You nodded before carrying out her instruction. Blood trickled down from his nose and down the side of his cheek. You pressed on his shoulder gently shaking him awake. "BN-" His hand encircled your wrist sharply as he sat up bewildered. You grabbed his chin and made him look at you. "Hold on. Hold on. We are in Onrei. It's me, Y/N. You are safe. You were training with Jentu."

"What happened to me?"

"You were conquered my friend." Jentu said still out of breath raising up a finger.

You shook your head lightly and spoke to him soothingly. "You were valiant but...in your head. Distracted it seems." You were handed some cloth and wiped his nose and cheek. He hissed from the pain. "You will be seen to, and then join us in watching the games. If you are up to it? That or you can return to the palace for a nap. I think that is Jentu's plan-"

"I am not napping if he isn't."

"Well there you have it."

"I will find you in the stands."

He was swallowed up by the crowd as he was taken back to the infirmary. You found a seat with your parents and Jentu waiting for the games to begin. "You did very well, Jentu." Your mother cooed to him. 

"It was nothing."

"Hmm is that why you are still out of breath?"

"I have a large body it requires more air."

"Perhaps to inflate that ego." You chuckled prodding at him.

"Your servant is distracted by something as simple as breasts. I do not know how you sleep well thinking he can protect you."

Your mind was reeling. "Knowing that I am not. He is a formality. To keep Master Kylo comfortable." Jentu let out another chuckle before crossing his arms and mumbling to himself. You could feel your mother's eyes on you, but you did not acknowledge her. You kept your face forward and awaited the games to start.

It wasn't long before BN-5070 arrived and found his place next to you. "Did I miss anything?"

"No, just one spar, but it came to a draw."

"Why is the crowd so excited for these two approaching?"

"That is Ton and Giro. They are lovers. It is very rare to see lovers make it to the final round together. They must fight each other now which can produce tension in their household. Probably more than cheating ever could in comparison to your own culture."

"More than cheating?"

"Yes, Onrei are a little more serious about fighting than sexual relations. Fighting can mean life or death. Sex, well, is just sex."

"You think you would be better at fighting then." He nudged you playfully.

"And how would you know which I am better at?" You asked him cockily. A redness entered his cheeks which caused a laugh to erupt from you. "Perhaps, I have not shown you all that I can do in the arena."

"She is also more properly trained according to the culture she was being introduced to which is to please Master Kylo. Do you say he is pleased BN-5070?" Your mother intervened sternly.

"He can be a difficult man to read, but I would say yes. I think he is pleased. She is still alive isn't she?"

"That she is. As her servant I expect you to give her proper warning as to when she is stepping out of line. Her best interest should be your interest."

"Mama-"

"Why do you think she is still alive?" He gave her a grand smile which she returned with a stony nod. You stayed quiet for the remainder of the time spent in the arena. Giro bested Ton.

_____

**One day later.**

Sheindi still did not wake, but she seemed to be doing fine. A line was given to her to keep her nourished until she could wake again. In the early morning, instead of riding, you walked a path with your mother when she couldn't help but notice something.

"You're avoiding him."

"Hmm?" You asked as you were twirling a flower between your fingers.

"Your servant. BN-5070. He has requested your presence several times, and you have refused."

"He always has to be with me, mother. I just need a break. I don't need to be protected here."

"Hmm."

"What?"

"You called me mother. You don't usually do that either."

"And? What next will you accuse me of being a spy?"

"No, but I accuse you of having feelings for this man."

"I do not."

"Do not what?"

"Have feelings for him."

"Say it together."

"I do not have feelings for him."

"Say his name-"

"Stop this."

"You must put an end to this. You will request from Master Kylo that he remove him from your service when you get back."

"It's not that simple. Besides you have been with Jentu-"

"We are not of the same culture. Your father knows of Jentu and others. Just as I know of his others. Master Kylo likes you as his property, and that is how you will remain. Loyal to him."

"I will admit to my feelings for him, but I would never act on them."

"With his proximity you cannot trust yourself, and I don't say that as a flaw in you. I say that as a flaw in anyone. It is inevitable. You will end it and maybe Master Kylo will someday know what it is to give a loving hand, but until then my love I am afraid you must endure."

"How easy that is to say for someone who has had to endure nothing?"

"What did you just say to me?"

"You get a second hand from me, but I get the full force. What a sacrifice it is for you hmm? To be in love and have your way when I will never know either of those things."

"You will outlive him-"

"And then what to be placed with another? What is the use if I will always be abused for it?"

"So you would have rather been born on another world as a slave? Is that what you are telling me? I know you have been through a lot. I know my dear. I sat with the prisoner many a days and watched as the bruises formed, the bloods spilled, and the toxins flowed through his veins. I must watch and not know when he might just fall over. And watch I do. And the ships are prepared to come and get you if need be. You are my only child. The only one that could endure my womb. That is how I know this is your destiny. You, and only you, will make this galaxy a better place because you can endure. That is why your power was bestowed onto you. You were meant to survive."

"To live to see every empire through the ages-"

"You will be the last empire. The empress to end it all."

"And what if I don't want that?"

"You don't get a choice."

_____

You laid in bed staring at the ceiling, trying to think with great difficulty on how to explain to Master Kylo why you would need a new guard. You didn't want to blame your interest on him. You weren't even sure he was interested in you. He would have had to fail Master Kylo in some way for him to fall for it. Or you would just have to be honest with him....that you had grown affections for your guard, and therefore he must be removed from your service. _He will be mad at me regardless won't he? It might as well be the truth._ You bit at your nail while turning on your side. Talking to him was never easy.

You threw off your sheets in frustration and put on a robe before grabbing a lantern. If sleep would keep evading you then you were going to find some clarity in the bathhouse. You walked down the hall into the dark of night until you reached the market area. Markets were still very much active at night. Restaurants, taverns, bathhouses, and whore houses got just as much business at night than they did in the day. The only exception to that was the arena, and that was because it was closed during the night.

This time though you would not attend the overly populated bathhouses but go to the Lelainian bathhouse. It was a more sacred space where one could help find themselves or answers to troublesome questions. It wasn't just the bathhouse that was sacred though. The trees that surrounded it were also very sacred. The Gesypu trees. They were the only species to actually have fleshy lungs beneath the ground. They typically held their breath around the presence of other beings that might pose a threat. However, when they released that breath it would release a powder that helped with finding distinct answers and true wants.

You thought it at least might help you find some courage too. You walked up the path of the mountain and paused in front of the trees. There wasn't a single sound which was a good sign that they were holding their breath. It was a long time before the blue powder puffed into your face, and you continued your trek to the bathhouse. You picked a few berries and hesitated as you picked a red and orange one. Those were peculiar ones. Your grandmother would collect them often, but you weren't sure exactly what they did because she would on occasion throw them in some of her concoctions for healing. You took two not even sure that you would eat them, but for memories sake, you kept them. When you got up the steps you opened the lantern and lit the torches to show it was in use, so that you would not be disturbed. You slipped behind the door and lit the candles and chandelier inside before taking off your robe and disappearing beneath the steaming waters.

_You were walking through the woods. Hues of blue and orange hugged the night as the foliage whispered as you stepped over it. You could smell something burning, but could not see signs of a fire. But before you could blink once more you were sitting before one. You stared into the flames looking for a story in the embers when you heard a voice._

_" So pretty...so proud and strong you have become young one." _

_" Grandma?" _

_" Of sorts. There are perks to being a carrier of souls." _

_" Your power has transformed in death?" _

_" Hmm more like a task has been placed upon me. I struck a deal with the gods." _

_" What a dangerous thing for them to do." _

_" Hmm. You are still angry with me? The deal grants me such meetings." _

_" Maybe just a passing, lingering resentment." _

_" Your mother felt the same way. Ahh it will wear away, and you will understand what I did was for you. I see that you have been quite sad." _

_" I am lost.....and I am sad." _

_" With an extravagant gift you have been granted, you still find time to be sad." _

_" You don't understand." _

_"It is not I that doesn't understand." She spoke cautiously as she moved closer to you and gently pet your cheek. Her sparkling white eyes glimmered from the flames. The bones that decorated her hair rattled softly from turning her head looking you over. "You forget I am able to see from all sides." She waved her finger over her eyes causing an iridescent shine to cross over them. "That is why I am here to foretell you to build your army, and that there are three souls you must seek and destroy. Two will be as expected and the other...a bystander turned rotten."_

_" Someone I have betrayed?" _

_" No, Geran was decayed from the start. This bystander is all but a phantom to you. Lurking beneath another." _

_"I don't understand. Do they all have to die?" _

__" It is the easiest course of action, yet not all easy courses are the right ones. That is for you to decided but choose wisely. What is it that you can bear, my grandchild? I must go now. A soul is losing it's way off the path." _ _

__

_" Grandma, I need you." _

__

_" We will see each other again, my dear. Not all is lost for you, but if this soul wanders too far...well I can't tell you about that now can I? Goodbye, my darling." _

__

_____

__

**Kylo/BN-5070.**

__

BN-5070 shifted the coins in his hands as he walked around the market place. The memory still fresh in his mind of Y/N's mother giving him the money to buy whores for the night. _Don't you dare sleep with any of those men or women._

__

_I would not do that to her._

__

_Good. She is my wife, and I......_

__

_It is alright to say it, brother._

__

_I have nothing to say._

__

_Sure you don't._

__

_We don't-what was that?_

__

_Torches were lit._ BN-5070 stopped and closed his eyes to feel his way through the force. _I think it is Y/N....it feels different though._

__

_Go to her. She might be in trouble._

__

_I don't think she is-_

__

_Go!_

__

So BN-5070 walked the trail up the mountainside. He stopped just right out the doors waiting for a sound when something blew into his face.

__

_What was that?_ Kylo questioned. _Get inside. Hurry._

__

BN-5070 wasted no time going in.

__

_____

__

You emerged from the water with a small knife someone had left at the bottom of the bath. You swam to the edge and started to put it down when you heard the door close behind you. You covered yourself before dunking down in the water and turned around. Your eyes widened at seeing BN-5070 slamming the door shut and leaning his head against it.

__

"What are you doing here?"

__

"I saw the lights, and I was curious. Is this a bathhouse?"He asked finally pulling his body weight off the door and walking around the bath's edge. 

__

"Yes, and you must leave." You slightly chuckled seeing the blue cover his face.

__

"What are you laughing at? Aren't all bathhouses in Onrei public?"

__

"Yes, but this one is sacred. As are the trees that puff blue across your face."

__

"Have I not delved in enough Onrei culture to warrant a place here? Is it poisonous?"

__

"That isn't the point and no."

__

"What is the point?"

__

"You need to leave."

__

"My job is to protect you and seeing that there are no guards here...I will stay."

__

"Fine." You huffed turning away from him, so that you could rise a little more out of the water to escape from overheating. That's when you heard a few splashes. You turned to see his nude form entering the water."What are you doing?"

__

"You can't expect me to have visited Onrei and never get in the waters of a bathhouse. Besides I have to get the blue off somehow. What will happen?"

__

"There are dozens down below. You do not need to enter this one. It gives you clarity."

__

"A little late for that now isn't it? Clarity? Hmm? Something troubling you, Princess?"

__

You grumbled sinking back down beneath the waters.

__

"Why are you out so late anyway? You could have gotten hurt, and no one would have known."

__

"Good thing you were out and about stalking me."

__

"It is my job to keep you safe."He said more seriously as he waded over to you. "Now stop evading the question."

__

"Why were you out here?"

__

"Your mother....she gave me money-her intentions were for me to go to the whorehouses." His tone had become a little more serious than you had ever seen out of him.

__

"She would do that."

__

"Why?"

__

"Because...that's just how she is."

__

"Hmm. We have not trained in a long time."

__

"No, we have not."

__

"Show me your stealth then, Princess. Try to take this coin from me without my notice."

__

"Won't you be expecting it?"

__

"Then you must be very sneaky."

__

You sighed."Fine, but if I find it and take it, you must leave."

__

"And if you don't?"

__

"I will ask Master Kylo if you can be relieved of duty from me."

__

"Then who will I bother? It should be something I want."

__

"And what do you want?"

__

"For you to not get the coin."

__

"We will both turn away. I will give you time to do what you have to, and I will try to take it away without you knowing."

__

"Alright."

__

The water sloshed as you both turned, and you sank even further beneath the water. You gave him time, and then you moved so silently through the water you made him jump as your hand touched his back.

__

"Did I scare you?" You chuckled as you encircled him. You stood upright in the water and pushed him back gently so he could lower. You looked him over in a way perhaps you should not look over your guard. You admired the scars across his chest and over his shoulders. Some of them were shaped like lightning bursts others were burns from blasters maybe? You rose further out of the water as your fingers traced through the lines between his muscles as your nipples brushed softly against his torso. You smirked realizing where the coin was as you made yourself comfortable in his lap. Your lips hovered in front of his and just before they could touch you looked innocently into his eyes. "And who, I ask, puts a coin in their mouth for another to extract without detection?"

__

He grunted at the blade pointed just beneath his chin before smiling and poking it out between his lips. You took it and backed away from him. "Who, might I ask, brings a blade to a bathhouse?"

__

"Someone in Onrei found need for it. Well at least I did after I found it."

__

"I am your guard. I am the only protection you need."He said swimming a little closer to you. Your eyes studied his before drifting a little. You shook your head.

__

"I think Master Kylo would have something to say about that."

__

_" What are you doing, brother?" _

__

"He has authorized me to watch over you."

__

"Watch. I think you are getting a little too close."He put his hand beneath your chin and rubbed your cheek with his thumb.

__

_" You love her right?" _

__

"I know your secret. I see the way you stare at me. You long for me. Does he know?"He asked as enclosed you against the tub wall. His eyes hazed from the powder.

__

"Leave me be. I order you-"

__

"You can't bring yourself to tell him."

__

_" Let her be." _

__

"I have liked the idea of you. I do not know you. Please, step away from me."

__

"I can show you more of me. Let you know more of him."

__

"Get away." You spoke very agitated as you pointed the knife against his neck. He smirked as he pulled away, but then he grabbed your arm and swung you around twisting your hand. The knife drifted down to the bottom of the pool as he tossed you on the sloped entrance of the tub. You tried crawling away from him, but he dragged you back toward him by your ankle.

__

_" She has done nothing to you." _

__

_" Do you have any idea how long I have been waiting for you to care for something, brother? She sat herself in my lap. I want you to watch as I did. Suffer as I have. You're too weak though aren't you? That's why you succumbed to the dark in the first place-""" _

__

_" You know that isn't true-" _

__

_" I will spare you, brother. Just know that all of your woes will be over with. It will just be you and I again. Just as you had in store for me." _

__

Silence.

__

He dunked your head beneath the water, but something in the way he gripped you...it was like he was unsure of himself. You gripped his fingers trying to pry them off as a sureness was pushing you down further into the depths of the bath. You thrashed against him, scratching at his skin, and choking on water. Time was slipping from you until all the lights had finally fallen to the dark.

__

BN-5070 huffed for breath as he saw no more bubbles rising to the surface.

__

It was just as quick as it had started.

__

_"You may come out now, brother. He still won't kill you but it will bring me enough joy to watch him punish you for your precious wife-"_ His stride paused as he felt a cool sting from a blade across his stomach. You pushed him over against the slope and stabbed him again for good measure. You gripped his throat threatening to finish him off for good.

__

"You thought you could come to my home and kill me? That it would be so easy. To kill me. Don't worry. You will survive this, and I will torture you until the end of days. " He punched you in the eye. It was enough to hurt, but not knock you off.

__

_____

__

**Back on Star Killer in the Med Bay.**

__

QR-9081 was being kept under observation by General Hux. Hux had temporarily made himself a quarters there, so that he could be nearby to observe. QR-9081 had not divulged any information which was unfortunate to Hux considering how promising Captain Phasma explained him to be. He was just afraid is all Hux could surmise, yet it still disgusted him. He got an alert as QR-9081 showed high distress, and then a bruise formed around his eye.

__

Hux gripped his shoulder and watched as his eyes opened and closed rapidly before he threw up a lot of water into his face. Hux growled in disgust as he pushed him away. He made the medical assistants collect samples of the water. "I want to know where it is from." They did not protest as his rage made sure there was no room for it. Hux watched as QR-9081 looked at him nervously.

__

_____

__

**Lelainian bathhouse.**

__

As soon as he uttered the yes you knocked him out cold. His wounds sealed shut, and what blood was lost was lost. You breathed heavily sitting next to his body trying to think of what to do. What did it matter now? If he betrayed you, he would die. You got up to retrieve your robe when he spoke.

__

"He-he is my brother." A soft cry escaped his lips.

__

"What?" You hissed.

__

"The commander is my brother-he has-he had taken everything from me, and so I-I wanted the same."

__

"Good thing I mean nothing to him. If you so much as utter a word to anyone your soul will be torn from your body and tortured until the end of time-"

__

"I wanted revenge. He took everything I have ever loved. Everything."

__

"Am I suppose to feel sorry for you? Maybe we could have been comrades in arms, but you did just try to kill me. You took advantage of me....for my...how are you any different from him?"

__

"I am a broken man. Please. Help me. You can help me. He is falling in love with you. Let him. Let him love you, and then be rid of him. The galaxy will not make it through his wrath. No one can survive it."

__

"I have." You grunted while pulling your robe on.

__

"You're powerful-help the weak. It is your duty-"

__

"Who are you to speak of duty? Hmm, guard. You make requests of me after drowning me."

__

"I wanted to hurt him."

__

"I am not the way to his pain. His pain is failure in his conquests."

__

"He loves you-"

__

"Stop saying that." You roared eyeing him angrily. 

__

"You can weaken him. Be his weakness because you cannot fail."

__

Your brows furrowed. Everyone had always asked everything of you, but this had to be the worst of it. He drowned you and now made requests. Reasonable, but definitely at the wrong time.

__

"Please-do this for the galaxy..."

__

"You're in a selfish state at the moment. The powders. We will speak on this later if I decide you worthy enough to live. Do not test me again, guard. You had the upper hand....and I thought he acted too swiftly. You are alive because of him, and even more so at your relation to him. Thank the Maker for it because there is nothing more that I would enjoy than killing you again." You walked up to him and stomped your boot against his face. More blood drained.

__

You dragged him down the mountain with great strain and difficulty. You had made it to the main street when people took notice of you and came to your aid.

__

"Princess! Princess!" They called as they took the weight of him off of you.

__

"We are fine. He just got a little too drunk at the tavern."He was taken from your grasp when something struck you. A stinging stab into your heart. You had died tonight....You paused as the small crowd carried his heavy frame. Tears streamed down your face as you walked silently into the fields. Bugs lightly chirped, and the long blades rustled against each other. The stars were bright at the very least even though the flowers were no longer in bloom. It was no matter as she did not like when the blossoms would drop their heads and plump droplets fell waking her from her sleep. 

__

Silence was not found, but an eerie stillness lied in it's wake. The water was drained over the grass. A few streaks still left over. You kneeled before her pulling open her arm while tucking yourself beneath it. You kissed her gently into the other realm. Hoping and praying aloud to your grandmother to keep her in the fields. That is where she always longed to be. Her soul belonged here. In one of the hearts of Onrei.

__

Sleep came but at a cost as you were awoken to your mother. You could not look her in the eye. She could not decipher what she saw in you, but she knew you were different now. More than you had been even on your first day back.

__

"She passed during the night."

__

She nodded knowing it was somewhat a lie but did not feel like arguing given the circumstance. You sat up more and turned to see small little blooms dotting over the field as the sun was rising. Tears formed again as you clutched her cheek.

__

"I think it is time we go home."

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(


	10. Bow Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think I would make it this far. In all honesty I thought I would just get a good thrashing for writing a terrible story and tuck tail and drop it altogether. Thank you all for your comments and encouragement even when the story may have not gone as you would have liked. I get excited to write each time I am able to when it just use to be mortifying to even think of posting. Now I have three stories that I rotate in posting and working on a fourth. Which do you prefer bounty hunter or Persephone and Hades sort of story? Let me know in the comments, please. 
> 
> Here's to ten chapters!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> XOXO

Your tongue swayed over two of your teeth as if something had been lodged between them. A phantasm that your mind projected in order for your anxiety to diminish. It did not. You hardly blinked as you stared out the window. The snow blurring the stars. They could not feel for you the way they had in the past. You relished in the blanketing of the snow. The peculiar brightness could not reach you here. A hue of white and blue filled the room. Over your visage. You had looked plain for once. Your hair brushed out. No rouge or makeup or jewelry decorated you. Just a silk nightgown that came down to about mid thigh, and a glass of wine glued into the palm of your hand.

You didn't drink very often, even back in Onrei. This had seem the right occasion for it though just like when you had met him. Your skin sweltered at the thoughts bracing beneath it. It wasn't like he could kill you, but a physical death had never been an issue. You had done as she had told, knowing very well that your grandmother was never one to be wrong in the sense of the divine foresight. You nibbled on your bottom lip. Yet another fidget as your fingers adjusted to the lip of the glass.

The one that had painted the mural came to you when you first arrived. You had scared her at first due to your new attire. The tailors of Onrei cut new slits and adjustments into your dresses. As well as embroidered them in a shiny black thread of the traditional flowers of Onrei. You had to admit feeling more at home in your attire may have given you a new sense of confidence. She spoke of the rush of your skirt tails had made her believe for a moment you were Kylo Ren. The thought saddened you wondering if you were also rising to what he had become. You were angry and sad even more so than before you left, and here you were left to your pit. Even with so many working for you now....you could hear your grandmother's voice in your head. _You still find time to wallow._

You had all the cycles in the galaxy for it as Kylo Ren still had not arrived back from....wherever he was. You were grateful for it in the scheme of things. You wouldn't have had time to build the allegiances you needed had he been able to bear his weight upon you immediately. In truth, your guilt had been eating at you. You knew why you had done what you did with BN-5070...if anything Kylo Ren deserved it, but the fact was it was still wrong, and the galaxy repaid you for it in full by him attempting to murder you. You couldn't bear the thought as the tide was rolling back to her. Your throat clenched as your mouth opened begrudgingly to take another sip of wine.

You returned your mind to the thought of Halei. The desperation in her eyes as she asked for the gift. She even tricked you having others awaiting as well in the corridor for you to say yes. You were only lucky all of them had heard the rumor, or you would have fallen dead. You did not give them the gift, of course. Especially to her as it seemed she was on a destructive path much like yourself. You found too much likeness in her at the moment, so instead you made a different sort of pact. Your eyes wavered down to your hand. The repeated cuts had already healed, and it soothed you just a bit to give Ben a little torment especially to his sword hand. He would pay the debt.

You marked beneath each of their pauldrons a bloodied red hand. A sign of servitude to you. You already had well over twenty soldiers working for your efforts. And work them you did. When you initially came you were going to seek out Geran yourself using glitterstim. As soon as you revealed these efforts to Halei she strongly advised you against them since glitterstim could be so potent to cause addiction. She instead volunteered to find out where Phasma was in the pursuit of Geran. You weren't surprised with what she had discovered. Phasma had been locked in the lower levels where the interrogation rooms were. Apparently struck with madness.

Another terrible feeling resonating with you. You had your doubts about asking her as you didn't understand where she fell in line with everyone else at that time, but you were almost happy that your warnings could be taken more seriously now by the others who were now tracking him. Another sign of good fortune as it kept Hux out of your hair. You knew where his priorities lied, and who Phasma was the hound of. Grandmother's advice had granted you answers swiftly. However, you were still baffled.

You had also wanted the glitterstim to get into contact with her. You knew it could connect you a little more to that realm, but you knew Halei's woes had been in good standing. That was another reason you were drinking. You thought it might help, but so far it was just leading to an emptier cabinet that the Commander would be angry about and a headache each cycle. It was quickly alleviated by another glass, but nothing would, unfortunately, coax the Commander from not being angered. Especially since you were going to express to him to relieve you of BN-5070....for your feelings.

Your lip twitched as it you had sunk one of your teeth just a little too far. A trace amount fell into your mouth, but the strong taste of metal felt as if it had filled it. Your attention roped around the snowflakes. Your eyes closed thinking of your navigation of MH7A. Who had been your only friend here until as of recent, yet a cold sting of loneliness hit you. The soldiers were serving you for a duty that they expected you to fill. For your power. You would, but that was all they sought in you. The thought terrified you only because...it had made you, in some ways, feel remorse for the phantom.

It was easier now than it had ever been to understand where he...went wrong, and where the same could happen for you. You felt now and again as you wondered of those who were actually loyal, and others only needing to abuse your power. It never slipped your mind that he may be one of them. Of course. He needed to be in control, but your heart would soften, and the empathy would fill and drain you all at once. You had no doubt that the Supreme Leader was abusing him while he sat comfortably in his throne and slippers. Your throat clenched once more wondering what his own life had been like before his powers came to be....or had it always been this way? A target for the galaxy. Savior or sinner? It was easy to be both, and even easier to just remain a sinner. It could be hard to redeem oneself even after one slip up. _Maybe he felt like he couldn't or can't go back?_ You grunted at the thought before MH7A flooded in.

Your eyes clenched. The soldiers asked that you go down to a sector that was cut off from their clearance. Soldiers were disappearing down there. Squadron after squadron. You had the clearance; however, the access was denied because of your standing. You still had found your way. A helpful hint from something BN-5070 had mentioned in the past about the ventilation system. Halei allowed you to borrow several of her weapons to take along. Some hindered your way, so you left them behind as you crawled through the tight spaces.

You had not been prepared for how cold it would be down there. Nor the sight of vacant rooms that had been thrashed and broken. You passed in silence as each light from the rooms glared over you just to be broken yet again with darkness. The snow fell in from the windows and now occupied some of the rooms. You had spent so much time down there your knuckles were already starting to tear from the dryness. You heard nothing. You smelled nothing, but the sight was grave. Pieces of armor were everywhere. Blood smeared against the walls. Appendages protruding from the mounds of snow. It was a massacre.

You moved some of the wiring that dangled from the ceiling and turned as you heard a soft crunch. You stood still as your heart fought to escape your chest. You wouldn't die. BN-5070 would which was more than he deserved, but it was still frightening. You would have to feel this. Exactly the way they had. Not being able to die wasn't always easy. You still had to live through it, and sometimes it would break you for weeks. You were still having trouble entering the shower because of BN-5070. You didn't need the added feeling of teeth grinding against your flesh or your arms being ripped from your body.

You gulped, putting your spear at the ready. You backed up and jumped almost shrieking as something bumped your shoulder. You turned and fidgeted in surprise to find a pair of legs hanging from the ceiling. It wasn't until you saw the shine from the silver plate on the stomach glowering at you that you realized it was M7HA's body. You latched your spear back onto yourself as you pulled on his legs. His arms deterred his body from slipping through, but eventually you tugged hard enough to pull him out. One of his arms was ripped out and part of his plating on his head had been damaged. You shook him a little not sure even how to turn him on.

You glanced to your other hand as you returned to the kitchen to pour another glass of wine. It had ripped open when you pulled on his legs. An injury you had not found until it was already healing. You called for them on your comm. They had rigged it, so that only the chosen could communicate with you...it was very much illegal. A rouse was set into motion so that you could walk out with his body. The soldiers were not happy that he was all that you came out with. You argued with them that no one else had been alive, and that he was their only hope in knowing what was down there.

It had only been somewhat true. He would know, but you wanted him because he was your friend and ally. More than them. He had provided you with help anytime you were teetering on the edge. You needed him more than them even as you knew he had been placed there for you. By who, you weren't sure, but he had provided a world of help more than anyone else at the moment. Not everyone could be saved as much as that seemed to spark hope in anyone that knew of your talent. For some reason it haunted them...what could have been? Halei was troubled by this deeply. She had lost two friends to whatever it was lurking down there.

You enticed her to take a rest from the tasks, but she resisted. She wanted to stay busy, so you had her go speak to Hux. At first, she refused, but she knew you were right as you explained he was at his weakest. You sent her to make an arrangement with him for a talk. You might be able to help Phasma...you might not, but you needed to strike hope in his heart, and if you could pull through perhaps you could have one less enemy. You would never trust the snake as it would always travel on it's stomach, but if you could grant it legs for one day...it might deter it or at least ruin the stealth of it's cunningness.

It would have been more ideal if you could actually get into contact with your grandmother. You grumbled to yourself while rubbing at your eyes. You walked by the closet and just as you passed another door opened. You paused and looked into the dark room. You had seen him disappear into here maybe once or twice. He was always very hurried about it like he didn't want you to know. Your brows knit together wondering if you should go in. Your feet had other plans as your mind still reeled. There was nothing in there except a mask on the stand. It was broken. You weren't sure why it mattered, but your thoughts were distracted as a feather fell out from behind it.

You bent over, picking it up. Sheindi. Your heart choked as you twirled it between your fingers. _Why does he have this?_ You rose up with it in hand when you gasped. The mask had reformed, and a hand clamped around your neck. He had been as tall as the phantom, but it was not him. You cried out as your wine glass hit the floor, and you wrenched your fingers against his. "Stop." You tried to gasp.

The darkness took you to a familiar place. A place you had seen your grandmother previously. She was there by the fire, staring into it.

_" You were lucky I was there to stop him. You must never go near that item again." _

_" What is it?" _

_" His past, present, and future. You have been in want of me. I gave you answers child." _

_" I need more." _

_" We all need more....you have done well though in heeding my advice. Your army is swelling in numbers quickly and in your search of those that must be destroyed." _

_" And that of the snake? Is he one that should be destroyed....Am I wrong in thinking he has been weakened?" _

_" He is not one. His demise will come by other means; however, his flaming hair will white. Trust...hmm as fickle as the wind. My grandchild, oh, do not be deluded by weakness for it only lasts but a moment. In ourselves and in others. We heal. The scar is strong against the knife, so that is why we must ensure we cut them another way." _

_" But I-" _

_" I cannot grant you more than that." _

_" Grandmother, please. Just-is she angry with me?" _

_" What do you believe?" _

_" I-I don't know. I am not sure how she thinks-" _

_" You would have not been her rider had you not known how she thought." _

_" She understands." _

_" She rests easy in those fields knowing she was loved by you. Her only worries lie in your happiness. Happiness is not an obligation; however, it can be a necessity for those who have sacrificed for us. She has aided in finding yet another snake. Now peel back his skin and make her death worth it." _

Your eyes bulged open back into the dark eyes of the mask. It lied there on it's pedestal and your wine glass and the feather still clutched in each hand. You sighed taking a step back from the mask only to bump into something heavy behind you. Your breath shuddered as you heard the sound of his mechanical breath. A leather clad finger drawn over your arm and beneath the lazy strap of your nightgown. It wavered under his touch before falling loosely over your shoulder. His other hand grabbed the wine glass from yours, but you still did not turn.

You weren't sure what to say. Your nostrils flared as you closed your eyes feeling his hand move your hair to one side. Your eyes clenched once again while your mouth pressed into a firm line. Your walls being thrown up more harshly than before.

"Was I not gentle the last we saw of each other...intimately?"

"You were...Commander." You shuddered out feeling tears trying to escape. It wasn't him that you had been fearful of....it was the act of intimacy. The events of the baths thrashed violently in your head.

"Yet here you tremble before me." He settled his helmet against your shoulder and neck. You shivered feeling the reverberations from the helmet. "Why are you in here?"

Some blood had finally moved through you to turn toward him. "Why do you have this?"

You raised the feather, showing him, with anger pursed in your eyes.

"I will ask the questions. Why are you in here?"

"The door opened-"

"You expect me to believe that?"

"I-you don't have to, but that's what happened."

"Perhaps, it was wrong to send you home. You always bite my hand whether I am kind or not."

You were put off by the statement. Had he done it out of kindness?

"I am glad you did, Commander. Thank you."

It was his turn to be put off. He cocked his head to the side and even more so as your arms wrapped around him and embraced him. He was stiff before giving a slightly relaxed pat on your back before attempting to push you back. Intimacy was his weakness. You knew. He had not known how to cope with it. You weren't sure from lack of it or just outright refraining from it, but it was something you could use against him even though you were excruciatingly not ready for it.

"You have drunk a fair amount of my wine."

"I have been having trouble sleeping. I-I am sorry." You were sure to be respectful.

"You have little to do. BN-5070 has not been training you...why is that?"

"He has not come for me."

"Yet you have left this room without escort."

"I wanted something to do."

"So you pry through my things, and do not follow strict orders?"

"This is mine."You clenched your teeth raising the feather again. 

"It's a good trade for the wine then isn't it?"

"What are you doing with it?"

"That is no concern but my own."

"Tell me." You grunted attempting to push him.

"You dare touch me-" You pushed him once again. He dropped the glass and his fingers encircled your wrists so hard you thought you would hear a crack soon.

"Tell me!" You shouted at him. His fingers surprisingly loosened, but only because of pain in his own wrists. You repeated it over and over as you took the opportunity to push him again. You pushed him so many times you both were out of the room. You pushed him against the bed and balled your fists up to beat against his chest. You weren't sure how many times you hit him, but eventually you gave up from tiredness and laid against his chest.

He laid there beneath you. Your body felt so small and weak. He knew probably from the drink, but he had no will to hit you. You had angered him enough to do so, but nothing awoke in him especially once he felt something wet against his chest. His eyes saddened feeling your body shake from crying. He sat up cradling your back in his hands as he rose, taking extra care that you did not plummet to the floor. He did not know why you were crying as you still had not let a memory slip. He had hoped it had been something Ben had done rather than him, but he knew it was the latter because he was always the one to make anyone cry.

Your arms looped around his neck as your legs straddled him. You hated yourself as you weakened yourself to....open him. "He stays away from me...because I have-" You paused seeing a white box wrapped in a black silk ribbon on the bed. You looked at it perplexed. He leaned back grasping it in his large hand. The gift was small in comparison to his palm. You shook your head as he held it between the both of you. He knew. He had to have. He had no interest in your answer. BN-5070 had spoke to him first, and he had a sick way to punish you. Had the gift failed? It would have been a betrayal...wouldn't it? You supposed not if you were already feeling guilty about it. He had not spoken of the gift though. He would have certainly put it to the test already if he had.

More tears rolled down as he pushed it against you.

"I don't want the gift."

"You have no right to refuse me. You have invaded my privacy, and among other things....confess to nonsense."

"Commander, please-"

"Your conscious will not rest easy. That is gratifying enough for me."

"So you torture me with a gift?"

"Your indiscretion won't go unnoticed even if forgiven."

He was forgiving you? Torture was his specialty, and it would be something you would not soon forget. You sniffled as he pressed the box into you once more. You grasped it, and you carefully tugged at the edge of the ribbon. It fell open loosely, dangling over your wrists while the rigidness of the box had also fell open. You were scared to open it further, so he helped by pulling the lid open. Your eyes widened at seeing the items beneath. A black blindfold and two leather cuffs as restraints.

"He wants me to connect with you....to produce an heir. No heir has been produced in the way we have been-intimate, so we must....try other ways. Once the baby is born we will be rid of each other."

"What will become of the baby?"

"Whatever he wills."

"I will not allow you or him to take a child from me."

"Refusing is treason. The penalty is death."

"The child would know nothing but coldness. How..what would you even do with a child?"

"That is hardly your concern. The sooner this task is fulfilled the sooner you may leave." He spoke attempting to lay you down. 

"Get off of me." You screamed as he pushed you against the bed. He held your hands down with the force while cuffing the restraints onto your wrists. Once he secured the blindfold, you heard the insidious hiss and click of his helmet. He pulled you back onto his lap looping your arms back over his neck. 

"You will do as you were taught." He whispered into your ear. The rustle of his clothes and zipper taking over any other sound. He spit into his hands and rubbed it over his cock and some onto your lips. Your heart thudded harshly, knowing you weren't prepared. Realizing this he slipped a finger inside of you, wanting to feel you the way he had before although the leather prevented this. Intimacy was an even more terrifying notion now, knowing that he only wants you for a child. Yet it seemed he wanted you out of his life. He wanted you to be free. You weren't sure if it were true though...the First Order never let anyone free. You would be freed in a different sense.

"Please, Commander. I am not ready. Please." He grunted attempting to break into you. "I need more time. Please." You begged feeling his swollen head trying to break apart you lips. Please....there-let me become slick. Let me do something else until-...please.

"What would you do?"

"Let me please you until I can....want."You said out of breath. The trauma already slithering it's way in.

"How else would you please me?" His whisper was one of confusion.

"Allow me to move, please."

He had sat in silence for awhile thinking it over before agreeing to it. "You may move." You immediately removed your arms from around his neck and sank to the floor. You pushed his knees apart before getting comfortable on your own knees. Your bottom lip trembled as you grasped his slick member. Both your hands grasped it firmly while they smoothed over the saliva. He grunted not wanting to continue. He did not like the thought of you doing something he could easily do himself. That was until your lips pressed against the tip of his cock.

He grunted in surprise as your tongue flicked over the small slit, licking up what precum had already been dripping out. Your hands made a disgusting noise as they motioned over his wet shaft. Your eyes closed even beneath the blindfold as you opened your mouth further to take in more of him. He groaned, and you could feel his legs enclosing you. You wish you could see the look on his face as you were sure this had been the first time he had felt this sensation. Especially as his hands could not seem to settle on where to hold you. They wandered over your back and shoulders before one of them entangled in your hair, trying to help control the speed in which you moved up and down his member.

He did his best to stunt his moans, but they were getting louder and louder which in truth was making you somewhat wet. You could not worry for that now though as you were attempting to ensnare him to not focus on fucking you. At least not in your warmth. You weren't ready for a baby, and even if you had been you weren't going to let him or the Supreme Leader take one from you. The plant resurfaced to your mind. They couldn't know. Your mouth and tongue were coaxing the orgasm from him, yet he seemed to resist. He wanted the feeling to last.

Tears had worked into your eyes as he was not letting you breath. Your hands held onto him harder as you were having more difficulty by each passing moment. It had reminded you of drowning which was causing you to slightly panic. He fell out of your rhythm when he felt a thought enter his mind. Ben holding you beneath water. He loosened his grip on your hair allowing you to breath. Drool was dribbling down the sides of your lips as you took a deep breath. His thumb wiped at one of the tears that managed to break from the blindfold.

"I did not mean-I was...."

"It's ok." You told him before putting your lips back onto him causing him to gasp. Your tongue slid over him before sealing your lips around him once again. He could no longer hold it as you once again seduced his member with your mouth. His legs strained trying to hold back.

"I-fuck!" He had not meant to do it without warning, but soon his seed was filling your mouth. You did not care as you succeeded in what you wanted. Draining him.

He was tired, but it did not stop him from watching as you swallowed him up even licking some of the leftovers from his sensitive head like you were hungry for more. He wanted to be hard again, but he was finding it difficult. The new sensation was too overwhelming. However, he was fearful on not being able to perform for you which made it even worse. He was angry that he would not be able to enter you. At least for now. In truth, Snoke had wanted a baby, but it was not clear whether it was now or later. He just wanted you away from all of this. Especially after finding out what his brother had done to you which he studied you wondering if you were aware that a thought slipped over your walls. You seemed content, so he assumed no.

He hated Ben even more knowing what he had done now that upset you. He tried to kill you. How you managed to escape him he wasn't sure, but he knew now that his brother had tried to take something precious from him. He expected it, but he did not know he would be so stupid to do such a thing. He was more enamored with you now knowing that you had managed to survive. How he would punish Ben or keep Ben from doing it again? He had no plan for. It seemed had been growing stronger as cuts were opening up on his hands. Attempting to escape to push his own soul out? He needed to ensure you a way out, so that Ben could not finish you. He knew Snoke might look for you after the birth, but he would probably be too elated with the fact of an heir that he won't care for where you are. So long as he remained to be tortured Snoke would have no worry for you.

Snoke just needed an heir as strong as him, and he could only dream of an heir that was force sensitive and Onrei. He knew the child would be an unstoppable force. You held his wrist as he wrapped it behind your neck. His other hand pulled you up, and he leaned his head against yours. He knew what you had done, yet he didn't care. He wanted you close, yet he couldn't. Not with Ben, and certainly not with Snoke. He had to remain cold....distant. You would not survive otherwise.

"You're a cunning little whore."

Your mouth twitched a little at the remark.

"I told you your indiscretion has not been forgotten. You will sleep on the floor." He pushed you to the ground. "He will be removed from your guard. You will be under my protection until you produce a child. Then what you do from there I could care less."

"Do you think Onrei will let you keep one of their children?"

"Onrei won't have a choice."

"Why do you say that?"

"You will see. In the days to come. You will know exactly why Onrei will bow to the First Order like you have tonight."

A long silence took place, and just as he seemed he was ready to fall asleep your voice lulled in the dark, "You would make _our_ child bow to that monster?"

_Ours._


	11. First Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Violence, feelings, sex, and awkwardness. Sorry for my absence and as usual my poor grammar. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos! ^-^
> 
> XOXO

After that night he raised you up from the floor and onto the bed. You lied there for what seemed like cycles, restrained once again. He was back to his old ways, but not in the same rhythm. Not after what he had spoken to you about nights before. He was bothered like he himself were being stalked into the nights. He paced more and escaped to the room that held his molten trinket against the grace of Sheindi's feather. He wouldn't touch you. He would only flick his wrist in his usual manner to allow you to go about your own habits before commanding your obedience once again. He fastened them tight, but you knew that he knew....deep down you had nowhere to escape. Your new found friends becoming weary of the princess trapped in the tower. Some even believed for you to be dead.

_Maybe he wants it that way._ You posed to yourself as you shook your hands, attempting to escape the numbing sensation your fingers faced once again. When the prickling sensation managed their way into them you decided that is not what he wanted at all. _The great Kylo Ren is in a stale mate with himself._ You surmised. He was keeping you there only because there was an expectation that clearly needed to be met, and he was unable to or refused to meet it. At least...that was the only thing that you could come up with, and you had plenty of time for theories. However, it seemed to be the one that made the most sense. _Hux is probably ready and willing to report to the Supreme Leader._ He was already not fond of Kylo, and you had not helped matters as Phasma was still indisposed.

You jumped having forgotten he had only disappeared into his little room. His fingers flexed before he stomped over to you and released your restraints still from a distance.

"You will wash. We have a meeting with Supreme Leader." He commanded before disappearing into his own closet. You rubbed at your wrists before walking over to the refresher. Your hand held out to the water as you closed your eyes. Counting, singing, telling yourself stories to calm yourself over bathing. The feeling needed to wane. It had to right? You couldn't always be afraid of this. You watched as he went over to the bed and stripped it of the sheets and replaced them. It was such an odd sight to see out of him. Perhaps, because you had never seen him do anything else, or if you had it had been a very rare occasion. At least nothing normal. Not eat. Nor shower. Or dress. Maybe that is why it was still hard to associate him as human?

He grunted feeling your eyes on him and while you looked away you pulled at the buttons of your dress and shrugged it off. You were able to persuade yourself to get in, but your fingers quivered as you went to shut the door. Even attempting to shut the door made your throat tighten. Would he be mad if you had left it open with him there? Just this once. It had been done before. You bit your bottom lip, debating on whether to ask him. You stepped underneath the water instead of continuing the battle against yourself. You closed your eyes and thought of the fields of Onrei. Something that once brought you comfort was now also upsetting you. Your home was upsetting you.

You opened your eyes as the suds finally drifted off the ends of your hair. You were shocked to see him sitting there at the end of the bed, watching you. He had done this before, but something was different about it this time. He was not as rigid as he had once been. He almost seemed relaxed. _My discomfort must be his pleasure too._ You spoke to yourself solemnly in your head. You turned away scrubbing yourself thoroughly before rinsing off and turning off the water. You stared into the tiles of the floor before stepping out and wrapping the soft, warm, black towel around yourself. Finally some comfort.

Your eyes perked up again to see a gown lying across the bed and boots beneath it. He had picked out your clothes. _Was this a special meeting?_ You wondered as you walked closer to the bed and observed the pieces he chose. You eyed the undergarments. They had been gifts from another planet for your wedding. They were intricate and elegant. Meant for special occasions you assumed. You brought one of the towels edges to your mouth as you touched the fabric. It was cool to the touch, but you didn't know if it was designed with such purpose or if the room had been that cold.

"Get dressed."

You didn't have to be told twice as you dropped your towel and put on the clothes. You brushed out some of the wrinkles as you headed to the mirror.

"Come here." You glanced back at him confused and walked with caution to where he still sat. His hand hesitated reaching out for yours. His index finger lulled in the space before lightly touching yours, attempting to edge you forward. You moved closer even though your heart beats were making a thunderous uproar beneath your chest. "Turn around." Inwardly you sighed and wanted to roll your eyes. You turned, already gathering your skirts. "On your knees." You dropped to them and began leaning forward when he tugged on your shoulder pulling your back against the bed. "No....sit on your feet."

Your rump met your feet. Your muscles strained to keep yourself composed. It was a long time before anything happened. His fingers brushed over your bare shoulders collecting your hair in his hands. His hands. You could feel his skin, warm against yours. You swallowed a little too loudly while looking straight ahead. You could see his mask in the mirror, hovering over your own head. Your fingers twitched in your lap as the teeth of a comb met your scalp. His fingers once again reaching over your shoulder to collect what strays were left. You side eyed his hand. It was wrapped. He had sustained an injury? You wondered how. _Does he train with Supreme Leader?_

You tensed feeling the comb dig a little too hard against your head. "I'm sorry." Twitched out of the vocoder. Your brows furrowed. What was wrong with him today? Were you being sent to your death? Is that why he was treating you...this way? You didn't understand. You turned your head slightly as your hand reached up grabbing his, making him halt in his task. You wanted to ask, but the words would not form. "My mother had long hair." He spoke before shaking off your hand and continuing to comb it.

An unsettling feeling wormed it's way into your stomach. He had a mother. Of course, he did. He had a brother too. He was part of a family. He, a brother, and a son, was now an apprentice to a tyrant. How did this come to him? How? You couldn't stifle the questioning in your head even as he began braiding your hair. He was doing something familiar to him. Planning it even. Had this been a way of coping for him? Or had he not touched someone in so long...? You shivered feeling two of his fingers brush up your neck. He was so gentle.

You focused on the word. _Had._ Did she pass? You yearned to ask, yet you didn't find it suitable. It was the first time he had revealed something about himself, and you didn't want to ruin it. Even though it was odd. You weren't his mother, and you never would be. It was a role no wife should ever have to fill.

"I do not think of you in such a way." He did not need to read your mind to know that is where it drifted. He knew the mannerism had been odd, but it was not in such a way. He just wanted to touch you without hurting you for once. Still it had been by force, but it was a start for him.

"I know, Master Kylo." You responded, keeping your hands cupped in your lap.

_____

Your fingers were devoted to the intrinsic braids before drifting down and feeling the softness of your hair. Lights passed over you as you and Kylo were on the final elevator to see the Supreme Leader. You bit at your bottom lip knowing you should stop touching it, but you were amused. Hands that could cause so much destruction managed to elevate you in such a way.

You glanced over to him. He was relaxed for the majority of the way, but as the elevator worked it's way higher the more rigidness you could see climb up his spine. _He's afraid._

"I want you to use a new technique."

"What?"

"Your thoughts...I want you to imagine a trickle."

"A trickle?"

"You use a river method to control the flow of your ideas and thoughts....you can continue to use that, but this time I want you to add a trickle. A small idea."

"How do I-"

"Think of a word and spread it out far and long...now make it an idea. Like a secret."

"Is there an idea that you would like me to think of?"

"Yes."

"I'm afraid."

A quietness shrouded you both at the admission of the feeling.

"I am too." He spoke softly.

You weren't sure what of, but it had seemed genuine enough. A different pattern.

_____

You sat on the edge of nowhere and held your hand out to the sky. There were no footsteps, or clamor of soldiers, orders of officers, or skewed beeps of droids. It was you, a rusted hangar, and a few dusty crafts that made home of your new sanctuary. A soft fur brushed against your cheek as you turned. Half expecting to see his shadow, but he was gone. Off to war on what seemed like a distant place not too long ago. However, you were made aware that Star Killer would be moving in closer as back up. They had not taken siege of the planet so easily. Or at least not as easily as they expected. Many of your own soldiers, who had just discovered you were in fact alive and well, were shipped out to replace others.

It had been two weeks which had given you time to attempt in helping revive M7HA. However, Sinth, who had been overseeing his recovery, was also sent away to fight in the disastrous take over. Now you would spend what time you could trying to mimic the rituals of Sinth but to no avail. You would sit with him and sometimes read to him. Some from your datapad and other times from books you had brought from home. He did not move even as you traced the geometric lines of his face. You wished your gift worked on droids which you weren't entirely aware if it did or not. You wondered if it would be a waste? Not because they were a waste themselves, but because it was difficult for them to die. They were never really gone... _until they were._

You grimaced looking down at your ankle as it trickled over the frosted panels and onto the snow. A reminder that the creature left you. You went back for the sake of Halei. She wanted retribution against the beast that had been the last to haunt her friends that went down there. You did your best to give it to her, but this time...you could not. Not because you knew in secret that this thing had once been under your protection, disguised beneath an onyx shell, but you needed to keep a person alive. One that you had of recent been forced to give the gift to.

His death had been at your own hand as he had threatened you over your plant. Not necessarily a threat, but he had made himself become one. A technician discovered what your plant could do and out of desperation of a promotion, tried to keep it from you. It was worthy, his cause. Not for a promotion, but for the protection of the women in the First Order. No more readjustments to hormones, no more weight gain, or ridiculous side effects. It was worthy. You had Cel assist with the meeting between the two of you. You came to an agreement, but you did not trust his character. You had to keep him honest. He could cultivate the plant on his own. You were even calling for a botanist from Onrei to help him, so that he would not rape your home of it's nutrients. You would even be granted access to it once again. But that wasn't all. He needed to remain quiet over the matter which was the part you did not trust, and he needed to retrieve some other plants and things from your planet under the guise of "specimens."

You needed a few things to fight off Geran. Who seemed at the moment amiss in all of this. You were grateful for the quietness, but often wondered when he would strike. You did not have time to think of such things though. You also needed other items in order to pull Phasma out from her, well delirium was the only word that could come to mind for now. You were not granted permission to see her, so for now you could only imagine what was happening to her. You had only seen the powers of Geran, the horrific ones, once. You shivered. It was comparable to the time of the Reek, but you were too young to understand it then. It seemed innocent to sneak off into the night to play hide and go seek. You thought it strange that his father would come along.

You held your hand out to the snow. Imagining that they were the stars finally succumbing to you and melting into your hand. It was hard to see them this late in the cycle when the snow really started to pick up. Your brows furrowed as your hand sunk back down next to you. Holding onto the edge to ground yourself from the memory. His father had said such strange things to you that night. His movements jerked and fidgeted in such odd ways. He made odd jokes and just as he fell into a hysterics of laughter Geran had told him to hide. You remembered as he waved goodbye to you just before dropping into the caverns of the soldiers. You still didn't know what killed him. The fall or the soldiers, but it didn't matter. He died all the same. At the time you thought his father had just been drunk. Your grandmother spent half of your life trying to convince you otherwise. You refused only because you had never seen that behavior again. Until as of late.

You didn't know what would kill you at the moment either if you decided to drop off the hangar's edge. The fall or the cold. You closed your eyes as you heard footsteps closing in. They did not approach you rapidly, yet wanted to disturb all the same. You still did not wait for them to announce themselves. You knew who would be looking for you since everyone else was either dismissed or missing.

"General." Your breath transformed as it fought against the cold before losing itself into the night air. You rose.

He stood composed with an irritation that could not stop emitting from his being.

"You have not been well, Princess? Or so I have been told."

"Yes. I am afraid it is more of an illness of the head."

"Does something disturb you? Perhaps, the Commander has not had your safety as a priority." He stopped alongside you and eyed your stomach. Your throat strained from the conflict. "If he cannot protect you....then there is nothing that can be done for your child." He spoke coyly, the cold catching his words.

You weren't sure what he was playing at. Had Kylo told him you were "with child"? He would never. Would he? You were too trusting even after everything. He had weakened himself for a moment for you to fall for this elaborate plan. Convenient that he would be away to war? No way to keep a watchful eye on you. He could have everything he wanted. You dead and Hux displayed as the traitor that he is. If that weren't the case, which is the more obvious of the two, then the Supreme Leader must have had said something to Hux. Your heart stung. He knew the dynamics of Hux and Kylo's relationship...did he want the conflict? Your breath caught in your throat as you pressed your lips together. Shock entering your eyes. It was difficult for him to distinguish whether it was from someone lying or if it had in fact been the truth. His hands fixed in his pockets. "What the Supreme Leader sees in him...I will never know. He could not protect her from your ambitions-"

"I had no ambitions. You sought her to seek me. I only happened to walk into your trap-"

"My trap? You ignorant whore-she is suffering because of you!"

"I warned her. I told her that he was dangerous-"

"Then you should have had your husband handle it or handled it yourself, but you couldn't could you? Why, hmm? Do you love him?"

"No-"

"Then why?" He seethed. "You wanted him an enemy.....you feared him an ally to us, so you looked for a hound to chase him. He wanted you all along, so you made him seek other blood...so he would stay quiet."

"He would have never betrayed me-"

"Yet he tried to kill you. You knew he would spill your secrets. You wounded him....mortally and instead of finishing him off you let him rise. That does not seem the Onrei way. QR-9081 has stopped showing symptoms. What a curiosity it will be to find out who shows up dead, frozen and injuries from a traumatic fall?" He growled as he gripped the back of your neck holding you over the edge of the hangar. A blast of cold wind and white blinded you while his fingers dug into your flesh.

"Stop it." You shouted as your body held against the wind.

"I was nice to you. I could have helped you, but you spit in my face at every turn you rotten whor-"

Your eyes were drawn to your side where the steam rose from the ground, and how it seemed to linger longer than it should have. You felt his hand weaken from around your neck, and you threw yourself back. His eyes were locked on the ceiling causing you to look up as well.

"Oh my maker...." Your breath shook as more of the liquid hit the floor. It gave under it's weight leaving the edges sizzling. You pushed Hux out of the way and took off running at a full sprint. Hux was quick on your tails. You both pushed each other as you ran between the ships hitting emergency buttons as quick as you could. It still would find a way each time to evade your endeavors. You did not dare look back although Hux took several times to look back which you courteously grabbed him by the collar and threw him forward. 

You rammed against one of the ships compartments and it fell open with a thud. Hux was baffled and distraught as you dragged him aboard before pushing a button for it to seal. " Do you know how to fly?" You huffed as the craft shook at the mercy of the beast. It was the only way you knew how to escape it. Get off the ground. It wasn't like it could fly, but what did you know, it was in complete darkness besides it's eyes. 

"I can't leave base. There is no Captain nor Commander."

"I don't think we have a-choice." You shouted as the ship started to tilt.

"I am not leaving her."

"Fine." You grunted as you started smashing buttons. It did several things besides turn it on, at least for the first few moments. Hux shouted at you that once you left atmosphere it would launch you....it was hard to say because he then instead attempted to hit you. You dunked and lost your footing. You were hitting buttons as you both rolled about trying to get out of each others way. You wrapped your hands around his neck before banging his head against the console.

You chided yourself to stop as you knew you could not kill him....at least not without terrible consequences. You both stopped long enough to see the flashing red lights and covered your ears as a terrible screech reached them. The craft jarred and Hux shouted curses at you as he blamed you for this as well. The craft lurched at such an odd angle Hux banged his head on one final button which sent the craft flying out of the hangar.

It was hard to say what happened after that. Flashes of your body hitting seats and walls are what filled your memory. That and the distinct yellow eyes you had seen in the hangar.

_____

**Kylo Ren.**

It was the last place he wanted to be even though in the past this is what brought him most joy. It wasn't the killing itself, it was the execution of it. The sinking into chaos, but with such fluidity everything had felt right in the world. But nothing was right. Y/N was back on Star Killer. Ben had been particularly loud in his head today because of his anger toward him. He could find no peace. You were cattle to Supreme Leader, and as much as Kylo tried to place you as his lower he could not help but always be surprised as you rose up. You were worthy, and as it turned out he felt he was your lesser.

_" I told her you love her." _

_" Hmm." _

_" You live for days like these, and here you are worried for her." _

_" You said it only in hopes that she weakens me." _

_" I didn't have to say anything. She already does weaken you. Remember the boy? How she held him? You long for her to hold you. To kiss your head the way she kissed his, but you won't take off that damned helmet. Now what say she though? You had me as her keeper-" _

_" And you ruined that as well." _

_" You love her, not me. Will you ever tell her brother? That we are stuck in here together. I cannot protect her from you forever. You'll kill her just like he killed her. Remember he killed her while she was giving birth-" _

_" Stop." _

_" That's what Snoke really wants for you to travel the same path. He knows it will set you over the edge, so he sent you a Princess who could not help but be loved. " _

"I said stop!" He shouted into the cold air, igniting his saber. Some of the soldiers jumped backwards afraid they would plummet from the cliff into the frozen lake. The vocoder was raspy from heavy breath.

_" She'll be the death of you. You were always the weaker of the two of us." _

_" Yet, I took over our form. Do you remember things wrong, brother? I usurped you-" _

He paused feeling a disturbance in the atmosphere. A ship was falling through the air across enemy lines. They were not ready for the attack; however, this would give them no choice. The ship crashed and a heavy smoke burdened the sky. It was silent for a very long time before the blaster fire started. It was at such a long distance Kylo wasn't even sure what they were aiming for as they missed every time. It wasn't until he saw it on the horizon....and then you gliding down into the snowy canyon.

_____

You awoke already half way out of the ship. Blood poured from your mouth drizzling out onto the snow. Your arm ached as you dragged yourself forward. Hux was leaning against a wing trying to stand. Now his eyes filled with fear. Blaster fire lit up the sky above you when you felt something grab the back of your dress and drag you through the snow. It tossed you, and you landed harshly against it. You opened your eyes to find an ebony varactyl, but it had been unlike any one you had ever seen. First, because of the color. From plumage to scales it was black. Second, it had webbing between it's toes and arms. Third, because it spit acid. And finally because it had horns from it's head to tail.

You scrambled trying to flee from it, but it only pushed you back into place on it's back as it took off in a sprint. You looked back to the General who was becoming smaller by the second. He cowered beneath the wing he had been leaning against, making sure to stay out of sight of the monster. You weren't sure to go back for him, but the monster was sure. It would not go back. You held onto some of the horned scales and laid flat against his back. Your eyes grew in amazement as it maneuvered through the snow very well, but they grew even larger at seeing what lied ahead.

A drop. A long drop to a frozen ground, and it did not seem it would be slowing down anytime soon. "Don't. We won't make it!" You cried to it while it seemed undeterred by your shouts. A bile was raising in your throat when the Run came into mind. You had done this once before and survived, and you would survive this just in a more difficult sort of way. Your stomach sank as you felt it's feet leaving the ground. It's arms spread wide and the webbing caught a wind beneath. It took forever for you to open your eyes, but when you did you gripped it's horned scales twice as hard while biting your bottom lip. It couldn't fly, but it could glide.

It rolled and swayed out of the way of blaster fire, but it was losing momentum as you were nearing the ground the further you went. The landing was hard and the ground crushed beneath both of you. You tumbled off of it roughly. A small whimper seeped out of you as the air had knocked out of you. The monster was quick to rise with worry in it's eyes as it looked to you. Your voice trembled as you heard the ground cracking. You both were resting on ice. "Stop..." It took only a second for both of you to fall through.

It's body now tumbled toward you as you sank down quickly under the freezing waters. You could see blaster fire down from beneath the ice and something was crashing against the ground. It grasped you by the foot and swam upward trying to pull you out. Unfortunately, this was filling your nose with freezing water. You lost your breath again as it slammed you unintentionally to the ground. It roared as it shook out it's feathers and knocked something that looked like a robotic ball with it's tail. The ball fell open and soldiers filed out. You didn't know who they were, but they did not look happy to see you.

You grunted, standing while the varactyl wrapped it's tail around you and shoved you close to it's body. It's horned scales rose and as it let out a prolonged shriek acid shot from it's mouth. You turned away as their bodies gave way to the substance. More robotic balls were being launched. Some breaking the ice while others cracked open perfectly to reveal more soldiers. You removed yourself from it's tail grabbing one of the blasters. It drew you back and onto it's back. You fired your blaster as it serpentined through the soldiers. Your aim was a bit rusty, but it came back to you sooner rather than later.

You jumped from it's back as it was starting to get overwhelmed by soldiers. It's pelt was strong in withstanding the blasters, so they were moving in with other weapons. Once your blaster lost charge you threw the butt of the gun into their heads. You swung your leg up kicking them in the chest before grabbing another blaster and releasing a few more rounds. You threw the blaster up catching a spear through one of the notches and yanking it down to avoid injury to the varactyl.

A rush of air and a hum and crackle broke next to you. Kylo Ren had ascended on a speeder and deflected the soldiers assault. It shook out it's feathers before letting out a shriek of a squawk not sure what to think of the new stranger. It grabbed a soldier by the head and swung it's body into several others. Fighting with a new vigor.

Storm Troopers were descending from above which had darkened the sky a bit. However, it did not distract you as a pace had set in you to survive. You picked up a spear and drove it into another soldier as he almost managed to wound Kylo Ren. You raised him upward toward the sky for the rest to see as the varactyl released another bout of acid. Some retreated at the sight while others had become more defiant. Kylo raised his hand removing the body from the spear and slamming it into some of their comrades. He dunked, evading a strike as you rolled over his back and pursued the warrior. He did not get very far as you threw your spear. It crushed through the back of his skull and came out through his mouth.

You caught the tip of a spear by raising the heavy fabric of your dress and redirecting the tip. Unfortunately, it jammed into the packed ice. A soldier moved in as you grabbed the handle and swung over him, giving you enough leverage to pull it out and give him a good whack with it. Kylo Ren's back was against you as you were getting on your footing again. More spheres fell from the sky, but you protected Kylo while he grasped one and struck it into the other shuttles of soldiers. It was a difficult feat as he needed a lot of concentration for it. You were impressed, but had little time to admire the accomplishment as you head butted a soldier for their blaster.

You paused as you felt the smallest of rumbles from beneath the ice. You looked to the ridge as some of the enemies were throwing bags over the edge. Your eyes widened seeing the worm like creatures slither out over the ice. You had only heard of them from your grandmother. She warned of their poisonous nature. How they would enter a body and latch inside while connecting themselves to nerves, dumping their toxins while burrowing. Creating a maze of your insides. It was slow and agonizing. "Tell them to retreat." You urged the Commander.

"We can't just-"

"Tell them, please. Tell the gunners to aim for the worms. Or at least break up the ice." You begged. "Please just trust me for once."

"But the ice-"

"Better the water take them than these creatures."

"What are they-"

"Just do it." You commanded as you got down to a knee and started taking aim. He did as you asked. You waved the varactyl forward. Acid trickled over the ice causing it to break. You shouted for soldiers to move back behind the cracks that were now forming. Kylo deflected shots from you as well as held some of the worms still before crushing them. There were too many of them though. There was now a clear crack the length of the lake that separated the sides. Some of the Troopers fleeing fell into the abyss of the water as the worms had already sunken beneath their body gloves. A fire started on the enemy side as some of the robotic envoys burst into flame. It spread over the ice rapidly, but that did not deter the soldiers from trying to cross. Whether to escape death or to run right towards it. They wanted Kylo Ren. The worms would not cross either, but they were still far enough away from the line.

You had been too busy shooting to notice that the ice was cracking beneath your knee. You tumbled in and were taken off by a sudden current. Your nails scratched beneath the ice trying to stop yourself. Your arm finally hooked on a hole where you were able to pull yourself out. You dunked behind one of the armored balls while plucking a gun from a dead soldiers arms. The worms came and parted around you like they had the enemies. You looked at yourself confused but stopped as you had to keep fighting because you were currently on the wrong side of things. You cracked the shell of the ball and held it in front of you as you ran.

It did not take long for the varactyl to decide to jump the line and come to your aid. Nor Kylo Ren after. The worms parted against the footsteps of the varactyl but continued their onslaught against the Troopers. Speeders were now descending from the cliff for destruction and rescue. You maneuvered back to cross the threshold, but it was still pretty far. You gasped as a robotic ball was seconds from crushing you. You felt a heat close to your neck and the familiar crackle. You opened your eyes to see his hand shaking to hold the saber. You looked up to feel the cold wet drips from the orb just inches above you. Soldiers were rushing forward as a lone worm flew through the air colliding into the armor of Kylo Ren's chest.

You watched as his saber started to fall as well as the ball. You pushed him grabbing the saber and running and sliding onto your knees while the varactly used it's tail to knock the ball across the ice. You sliced through their knees before standing and swung the fiery blade into their torsos. You were becoming overwhelmed while he could do nothing but watch. He could feel a stinging sensation even at the tips of his fingers. He tried to will it out, but it had already latched hold of his muscles and tendons. He had never been able to not command control of a creature. His head shook as he raised it as he was helpless to aid you.

The last he remembers was the sound of water, hues of blue, and the darkness of it.

_____

You grumbled awake on something cold and hard. Your palms strained against the frozen floor as you raised yourself up. A soft blue light blinking to fight off the dark of the cavern. You mumbled feeling your body ache as you crawled towards the light. The ice sometimes tugged at your skin as you moved.

Your fingers fumbled over the source. It was the small datapad connected to the Commander's arm. Your eyes flew over the words before expressing caution against the action. It couldn't be helped. _Therapy session._ It scrolled across the length of the screen before blinking away again. Then it revealed the time and location. You clenched your teeth before pressing it, hoping it would just stop altogether. It opened to another screen showing all related alarms.

You looked to the Commander. He was awfully still. You glanced back to the datapad...curious, but there were other priorities. You tugged at the belt of his tunic, whipping it aside as you lifted the fabric. You made space beneath the armor to get your ear somewhere on his torso. He had a strong, steady heartbeat. You sat up as your eyes radiated to the now continuous light. Your fingers drew his arm toward you again, and you looked for more information. He had never spoken of therapy.

_What am I doing? We need to get out of here, but....his therapist should be removed._ You thought while his previous sessions loaded. As far as you could tell he had been seeing one since three weeks after you were married. You looked over the notes from the session. _Post Traumatic Stress. Needs control over situations.-_ You stopped. You weren't going to find anything you didn't know. It was just a surprise. That was all. _Maybe he wants to change? Maybe being around someone else he realized....no. He tried to have me and Hux killed. That is why he wanted me to lie to Supreme Leader. To fuel Hux. Tricking him into thinking that he had so much to lose by telling him I was having a baby._

You were startled by a soft yet crumbled screech from behind you. You crawled over to the yellow eyed beast. Your brow furrowed as you grabbed the beasts cheek. You knew the terrible deeds it had done yet...you didn't want it to die. It's head was slinking down, making you believe it was about to pass out when suddenly it licked your hand. Your fingers dug into it's pelt as you tried to hold back a ear shattering scream. You watched as your skin melted away just as the snow had. You could soon see the bones of your palm. It stopped, regenerating itself quickly. You had never healed so fast before. You looked down to your dark feathered friend as it laid it's head to the ice and stopped all movement.

Tears proceeded to push when you heard a groan from the nearby Commander. You crawled back over to him and your eyes widened at seeing the blisters that were beginning to mark his torso. "Commander?" You grabbed his shoulders, shaking him lightly as to not startle him. "Commander, you must wake up."

"Why did they part for you?....traitor."

"Traitor? You wake to accuse me? I was attacked as well."

"The worms would not attack the Gilleans....or you." He coughed.

"You think you have any right to call me a traitor?" You growled picking up his arm and pressing a few buttons to get a help signal out. "You plotted for Hux to kill me-"

"What are you talking about?"

"You had me lie to Supreme Leader so that everyone believed I was pregnant. You know that would make Hux believe he had more leverage against you. To believe I was carrying your child! That is why you tried to be nice to me, so that I would do your bidding just so I could walk myself to my own grave. I thought you wanted my help for once..."

"That is not why I had you think those thoughts."

"Then why then? You talk about taking a child from me to then asking me to lie to your master. You are so divided-"

"It was for this."He practically shouted before painfully clutching his chest." You-it was-it was for if I die in battle."

The gears began to turn in your head. "If I wasn't pregnant.....they would have-"

"No use for you."

"It wouldn't take them long to know that I wasn't."

"You would manage...you always do. At least from here...you will have a decent measure of escape."

"And where would I go? Stop being so dramatic. Stand up, Commander. You need to move. You're not dying here."

"I cannot."

"You can...it's just-it's draining your power first. If you had been anyone else you would be dead already."

"How do you know?"

"My grandmother scorned these things. I didn't believe they were real. If she were buried she would turn in her grave with joy to know she was right. Although I am sure she does know in her own way. It's funny how we can believe one thing yet not another. She did something of an enchantment on me as a child. Just to ensure they would never come near me. I only agreed because she promised to give me cake at the end. She didn't....but here I sit. She feared it's ability to stop magic or things of that nature. Which is why it seems you can't use the force at the moment."

"It will take it entirely?"

"I don't think it is strong enough to do that. It can feed on you while it is inside of you....once it is out I have no doubt it will return." But you did have doubts, but you could not bother him with that for now.

You sat in silence as you felt his stomach to see if it would move. He squirmed from the pain of the worm receding into him. "At least my presence will help move it along. You have to move Commander. If you sit still it's grip will never wane."

"I-I can't it hurts too much."

You needed to motivate him to move, and you didn't like how you were about to do it, but you had very little option. Jealousy and weakness.

"I wish your brother were here."

"What?"

"It really should have been him. You're too weak, Commander. He would be able to handle this."

"No, he wouldn't-"

"Oh yes he would. He had the courage to show me his face....tell me who he was .....and try to murder me. You've wanted all of those things, Commander. I know you have. I don't have your power, but I know....but I guess you don't have your power either now."

His hands pressed against the ice raising himself up. He trembled with every ounce of his strength, and you guided your hand up his torso. You could see the bulge beneath the fabric on his chest. The worm was starting to come out. Between him moving and it's fear for you it was working it's way out. He needed to continue though. His fingers wrapped loosely around your neck.

You chuckled swatting his hand away. "You're so weak. Should I treat you as you have treated me?" Your hand rested on his shoulder, and you grimaced as it worked it's way back in, trying to hide from you. You cursed yourself realizing you needed to stay near his pelvic area to force it upward. You just hoped it would slither out the hole it had already dug instead of making a new one. "I think you might like it." You whispered to him while your fingers reached for the button of his pants. He tried moving your hand away, but you pulled his back against your chest. "There won't be any interruption this time. No Hux.....and we will play by my rules. " You commanded as you drew your hand over his thigh. He was already hard.

A static escaped his helmet as you clutched him over his pants.

"You might like it. Letting go." You soothed him as you tugged on his zipper.

His cock would have bounced had it not already been so close to your warmth as you straddled him. You smirked as he bucked against you, attempting to throw you off. You stayed firm against him. "Good job." You teased. "Come now Commander....let me have control while you relax." He was angry, but he was aroused, and he could not control himself as his hands reached for your hips pushing and pulling you to feel more friction. Your hand reached between the both of you causing another static from him. Your hand slipped down beneath, and you stroked him up and down. He was so hard the flesh was hardly giving way to the movement. 

"Fuck." You whispered out.

"Is something-wrong?" You felt his hands tense with insecurity. Lack of control.

"No talking." You whispered. Your eyes stared down at the tunic. The worm was coming back out. You pressed your hands against him trying to guide it out as you rolled your hips. You shivered and bit your bottom lip as you felt your warmth pulse with desire. _Fuck._ You cursed your own loins. His fingers dug deeper into your hips making you pang with even more want. You weren't planning for this, but the more you moved the more you yearned for the release.

You pushed his pants down further and grabbed him aligning him with your wet folds. You winced a little, knowing you weren't fully ready, but this was a chance to have it your way for once. You were in control. You gasped as he thrust into you eagerly. He backed off a little seeing that he might of hurt you. He thought back to the blow job and worried even more. His mood was different than it had ever been before....because he was weak, but he needed to continue his movements.

"Your cock feels so good." You tried to encourage him, seeing him falter.

He nodded sliding his cock slowly in and out of you. Your legs tensed around him feeling the details of his member pushing inside of you causing some of his precum and your own cum to already start dripping out. He even teased you a little with just the head. Pushing it up and down your folds before reentering you. You moaned out hoping to urge him to pick up his pace, but he did not. He was enjoying this new way of torturing you. A pleasure that hurt, but without too much hurt. His hips moved in precise slow movements. His cock could not resist the new change in pace though and the look of delight that crossed over your face.

He hips trembled seeing that you were filled with desire just as much as he was. Your swollen nub rubbed against him and then against the flesh of where the curls of hair could be seen. He hated how he had previously denied this time with you...this pleasure. To see how it crossed your face opening a new realm of your beauty to him. Everything he had feared was coming to fruition as he got closer and closer to his climax. He would attempt to give you everything, yet ruin you just the same.

You cried out as your warmth clenched around his cock. Your arms held onto his sweating torso as he emptied heavily into you. His moan was loud and guttural, and you could feel his seed falling down his throbbing length. He rubbed himself against you in such a manner it caused you to release again. Your muscles pulsed as his hands slid up your torso. They felt at every curve before resting against your cheeks forcing you to look at him. He would've kissed you. He wished to kiss you, but he could not bring himself to take off that helmet.

You had almost forgotten about the worm when you saw it's feathery tail wagging beneath his shirt. You moved your hand to his shoulder and finally it plopped down against the ice. You jumped up grabbing it as it tried to escape. Just as you touched it's skin it let out a horrid screech and disappeared into ash. That's when you heard it. The crackling of the ice cavern beginning to take hold of the roof. You maneuvered back to Kylo as he redressed himself. "I know you are weak, but we are going to have to swim-"

You were plucked from the ice along with the Commander and were driven deep beneath the waters. You broke to the air just as you were about to lose your breath entirely. A wasteland of ice, dead worms, bodies, and small fires. The creature dragged you both from the water and placed you properly on it's back. It no longer had any wounds, and it seemed even bigger than before. It nudged one of the dead troopers before taking off at a sprint. The Commander's body dangled in front of you as you leaned forward holding him against the beast. He had a pulse. You weren't sure if he was awake, but you were glad that he was not speaking of what had just happened. You could only hope for a lengthy recovery period.

You never thought you would be so happy to see the sea of white armored soldiers. The encampment was far, but the creature found it. You jumped down from the varactyl as a trooper approached.

"Lady Ren....is he-"

"He is alive. The worm has been extracted. He needs medical attention."

"I have called for reinforcements. Lady Ren...."

"Medics?"

"It's full. He will be better in an officer's tent to be attended."

"Take him there."

"Where are you going?"

"Medics."

"Lady Ren that is no place for-"

"Cadet." You looked at him seriously. "I am in charge until we retrieve the General or the Commander wakes....please do as I ask. Take him to the tent see that he is attended to immediately. I will have a list sent to you of all the troopers I will need to see, and let everyone know that this creature is to be left alone. Unless they wish to die a painful death."

"Alrigh- I mean yes ma'am."

"You are dismissed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're the boss....kind of sort of...for now.


End file.
